Home
by trace619
Summary: They were dating before 'Loss' now Alex is back from Witness Protection and wants nothing more than to see Olivia. However Olivia has a secret. Begins in season 7, and Conviction never happened. Slightly A/U. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

I'm making an attempt at another full length story only this time it's A/O. Disclaimer: I own nothing all SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf, no infringement intended. Enjoy!

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Chapter One

Alex stepped out of the airport and took a deep breath. The city still smelled like rotting garbage and diesel exhaust, and she couldn't be happier to breathe in the city. She waited for a cab and then headed to the hotel the Marshal's had set her up in until she could get her own place. While watching the city pass by the window she thought about what she was going to do after getting set up in her room. She was going to see Olivia. She smiled as she thought about the brunette; thinking of Olivia was the only thing that had gotten her through her time in Witness Protection.

Alex made her way into the hotel room and sat down on the edge of the bed. She reached into her wallet and pulled out the small picture of her and Olivia that she had kept hidden in her purse. The edges were worn from all the times she would pull it out late at night to see Olivia's face. Alex lay back on the bed and stared at the picture, it had been taken a little over a week before she was shot. They had just won a difficult case and were preparing to go out for a celebratory drink. Elliot was playing around with a camera trying to convince Olivia to let him take her picture which she was refusing. Alex, who was sitting in Olivia's chair, reached up and quickly pulled her girlfriend down onto her lap wrapping her arms around her waist and placing her head on Olivia's shoulder. Alex smiled at the photo she didn't think either had ever looked happier. They had only been dating about a month when she was whisked away into the program. Alex loved what brief time they had had together, even though they hadn't had the chance to take the relationship to the next level. They had both wanted to take things slow because they felt that there was something real between them and they didn't want to mess it up before it got started. Alex sighed as she thought back to the plans they had for the weekend but were snuffed out the night she was shot. Alex had asked Olivia to go away with her for the weekend and Olivia had accepted. Alex's aunt had a home on Martha's Vineyard and Alex was welcome to use it anytime she wanted. She felt it would be the perfect way for her and Olivia to have some time alone as well as advance their relationship. Alex pushed those thoughts from her mind and changed clothes preparing herself to see Olivia. No one knew that she was back yet and she preferred it stay that way. Her mother had died while she was in the program and she had no other close family in the city, the only person who mattered was Olivia. Alex briefly entertained the thought that Olivia may have found someone else since she had been back for the Connor's trial. While the thought alone that Olivia had moved on killed her, Alex only wanted Olivia to be happy and if it meant that Olivia found happiness with someone else then she would accept it.

Alex climbed into the cab and gave the driver Olivia's address before leaning back in the seat and getting lost in her thoughts. She thought back to the Connor's trial and the night Olivia stayed in the hotel room with her. It had broken her heart when she told Olivia about a man she had been seeing, granted she was lying, but she didn't want Olivia to think that she had to hold out for her to return. While she loved the thought of Olivia waiting for her she didn't want Olivia to spend her life holding onto the thought that she would come back. That night when it was time to go to bed Alex asked Olivia if she would sleep with her and she was thrilled when Olivia agreed. Nothing happened other than being wrapped in each other's arms. The thought of being safe and warm in Olivia's arms and Olivia being in hers had helped her get through her remaining time in the program. After the trial she had begged Agent Hammond to let her see Olivia one last time but he refused, saying it was too dangerous since the cartel now knew she was alive. Alex asked if he would give a letter to Olivia and he agreed. In the letter she apologized to Olivia for lying to her about seeing someone, she explained that she only said it to allow Olivia the opportunity to move on. She didn't want her having to spend her life holding on to hope she would be back. She also told Olivia that if she moved on she would understand and only wanted her to be happy and that she would always hold a special place in her heart.

Alex had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't realized the cab had stopped in front of Olivia's building. She paid the fare and then made the familiar climb to Olivia's apartment. She stood in the hallway a moment collecting her thoughts and trying to calm her nerves. Alex was well aware of the fact that Olivia may have moved on with her life or she may not want to see her. She took another deep steadying breath and then knocked on the door she only hoped Olivia was home. After an agonizing minute that felt like an hour Alex heard footsteps on the other side of the door. She clasped her hands together to try and stop the tremble, she took a deep breath as the door opened and she saw Olivia for the first time in almost a year. Alex smiled she didn't think it was possible but Olivia looked more beautiful now than ever.

Olivia gasped "Alex"

Alex smiled back "Hi Olivia" Alex thought that the sound of Olivia saying her name was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard.

Olivia still looked shocked "You…you're back?" she finally stuttered out.

"Yeah I'm back" Alex whispered. She became concerned when Olivia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was beginning to panic maybe Olivia didn't want to see her. After a few seconds Olivia opened her eyes and looked into Alex's. Alex took a cautious step forward "Olivia, are you okay?"

Olivia nodded "Yeah I was just hoping this wasn't a dream" she smiled at Alex and then stepped aside "Do you want to come in?"

Alex grinned "I'd love to" Alex walked into the apartment and looked around not much had changed since the last time she had been there. It still had the same warm cozy feeling, and best of all it smelled like Olivia. Alex took a deep breath she had missed that scent. She walked over and took a seat on the couch and her mind instantly went back to the last time she had been in the apartment. It was the weekend before the shooting and they were supposed to be having a movie night that had quickly turned into a passionate make out session. That was when Alex had decided to ask Olivia to go away for the weekend with her. They both knew in that moment they wanted nothing more than to make love to one another, but they decided to wait until they were out of town and no chance of their jobs interrupting. Little did they know their jobs would interrupt anyway. Alex was drawn from her memory when Olivia sat down next to her.

They smiled at each other before Olivia spoke "When did you get back?"

"A couple hours ago" Alex couldn't help but grin at the look on Olivia's face.

Olivia's eyes widened and a small smile spread across her face "A couple hours ago?" Alex nodded. "And you came here first?"

Alex slid a little closer to Olivia "Well I took my bags to my hotel, but you are most definitely the first person I wanted to see"

Olivia smiled as she stood "Would you like some tea?"

"Sure" Alex said as she stood and began looking around the room. While the apartment still seemed the same there were small changes her and there. Alex made a point to look at the pictures Olivia had scattered around the room. She was relieved to recognize everyone in the pictures. She was hoping this was a sign that Olivia wasn't seeing someone. Alex watched as Olivia walked back into the room and motioned for her to join her on the couch. Alex couldn't take her eyes off of Olivia. Looking at a picture of the brunette was nothing compared to seeing her in person. They sat and talked for hours; Olivia asking Alex about her time in the program and Alex asking Olivia about work and what had changed while she was gone. Alex looked at her watch and took note of the time "It's getting late I should probably be going"

Olivia smiled at Alex "I'm so glad you came here" she paused for a moment "I'm off tomorrow if you don't have plans would you like to get together? Maybe a picnic in the park it's supposed to be warm for this time of year. That is if you're up to going out"

Alex grinned and stepped closer to Olivia "Yes I'm up to going out and I couldn't think of a better way to spend my day" Alex looked into Olivia's eyes and noticed something "Olivia what's wrong?"

Olivia sighed "Alex I need to tell you something"

Alex took a deep breath, this was the moment she had been dreading. She gave Olivia a forced smile "Okay"

"Alex I'm pregnant"

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Left a little cliffhanger for ya! Reviews are appreciated, let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites. Seeing them all made getting up at 4 am much easier. I decided to get this chapter out a little sooner since you asked so nicely. Reviews are always welcome! Enjoy!

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Chapter 2

Alex froze, Olivia was pregnant she had found someone else. While she was happy for the detective, Olivia had always wanted a family of her own, Alex's worst fear was being realized Olivia had moved on. Alex began to shake it felt like her world was coming down around her. The only reason she had for coming back was no longer hers. Alex muttered a quick goodbye and quickly headed for the door. She could vaguely register Olivia's voice but she was so upset she didn't hear what was being said. She had just gotten out the door and in to the hallway when she felt Olivia's hand grab her arm. She turned and looked at Olivia through her tears; she was also able to make out tears in Olivia's eyes as well.

"Alex, where are you going?" Olivia asked in a confused tone.

"I'm happy for you Olivia I really am but I need to go" Alex said as she tried to free herself from Olivia's grasp.

Olivia pulled Alex back into the apartment "Why do you need to go? Can you not handle the fact that I'm pregnant?"

Alex wiped the tears from her eyes and hung her head "I can accept the fact you're pregnant, in fact I'm thrilled for you. What I can't handle is the fact that you found someone else" she looked up and noticed the confused look in Olivia's eyes "I know I don't have any right to say that considering I told you that I would understand if you didn't want to wait for me. Honestly I never expected to be back this soon. I just hoped… I came here in the hope that you hadn't found someone else and we could maybe pick up where we left off"

Olivia gave Alex a small smile "What makes you think I'm with someone?"

Alex stared at the brunette "Your" she was cut off by Olivia.

"Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm with someone" Alex was even more confused at this point. She felt Olivia take her hand and pull her toward the couch "Alex I think we need to talk"

Alex took a seat on the couch and turned so she and Olivia were facing one another. All she could think about was Olivia was pregnant, but what did Olivia mean when she said she wasn't with someone? She knew Olivia had dated men in the past but she knew for a fact Olivia's strict rule of using protection. She was trying to figure out everything she had been told in the last few minutes when she felt Olivia take her hand. She looked up and smiled "I'm ready to listen"

"Okay first off I'm not seeing someone I couldn't bring myself to do that. The thought alone made me feel like I was cheating on you"

Alex smiled and squeezed Olivia's hand "I know I felt the same way. That's why I never dated anyone while I was gone"

Olivia nodded before continuing "After the Connor's trial I felt even more alone. That night in the hotel was one of the best of my life even though nothing happened. Just sleeping wrapped in your arms made me happier than I'd been in a long time. It also made me realize what I was missing. I was so lonely" Alex squeezed her hand even tighter she knew exactly how Olivia felt. "I started thinking about having a child. I knew adoption wasn't an option no agency would give me a child with the hours I keep. So I looked into artificial insemination"

Alex slowly smiled as it was becoming clear how Olivia had become pregnant. "You used a donor?" Olivia nodded. "And you went through this all alone?" Olivia nodded once again. Alex reached over and hugged her "I wish I could've been here for you"

Olivia smiled as they separated "I wish you had been too. I wasn't completely alone Casey has been there to listen" Alex stiffened for a second and Olivia laced their fingers together "She was only there as a friend and she didn't find out until after I was certain I was pregnant. She and Elliot are the only ones who know" she gave Alex a small grin "Well Casey, Elliot and now you"

"I'm glad she was there for you, but I wish I had been too. I hate that you had to go through the process alone. You must have been scared" Alex said as she reached out and pulled Olivia closer to her.

"I was but I was thinking about you the whole time" Olivia ducked her head.

Alex reached over and placed her hand under Olivia's chin and pulled it up so they were looking at each other. She noticed Olivia was crying and she wiped the tears from the other woman's eyes "Liv, what's wrong? Please tell me"

Olivia sighed "Promise you won't run out when I do, and promise you won't be mad?"

"I promise, I shouldn't have ran out a few minutes ago" Alex took Olivia's other hand in hers "I'm here for you"

Olivia smiled the smile that Alex knew was reserved only for her. "Okay" Olivia took a deep breath "I know we hadn't been together that long before you had to leave, but I was already thinking that we would be together no matter what. At least that's what I wanted" Alex smiled and nodded urging Olivia to continue "I also thought that if we would've never caught that case we would've had a future together and that future would've included children"

Alex wiped a few tears from her eyes "You thought about us having children?" Olivia nodded "Oh Olivia" Alex said as she leaned over and kissed Olivia on the cheek. She almost kissed her on the lips but didn't want to frighten Olivia; she decided it was safer to wait a little longer.

"That's why when I went to the clinic I looked for a donor who matched your description. I wanted a child who would look like a mix of me and you. I figured if there was a chance I wouldn't see you for years or maybe ever I could at least have a child who would remind me of you"

Alex released a breath she wasn't aware she was holding; Olivia had specifically picked a donor to match her. She wanted a child that could look like a child they would've had had they been given the opportunity. She smiled at Olivia "Tell me about him"

"Well like I said I picked someone who matched your physical description. He's tall, blonde hair, blue eyes. He's athletic likes to run and loves football and baseball. He loves music, specifically rock music, he also loves to read" Olivia stopped a moment before smiling "Oh and he's a Harvard graduate. Does that sound like anyone you know?"

Alex let out a laugh and threw her arms around Olivia "You know it does sound a little familiar" When they separated Olivia leaned over and rested her head on Alex's shoulder as Alex wrapped her arms around her. Alex squeezed Olivia's hand that she was holding. They sat there in silence allowing the news to sink in. Alex couldn't believe it, Olivia was pregnant and she had chosen a donor who was physically similar to her. Alex thought about the nights she had dreamed about how their life would have been had she not been shot. She often thought about how she would've loved to spend her life with Olivia, she also knew that if they had been given the chance she would have wanted to have children with her as well. The only thing that worried Alex now was would Olivia want her in her child's life, and in what capacity. Would she want her as a close friend, her girlfriend, or would she want Alex to be a parent to this child? Alex was pulled from her thoughts when she felt Olivia snuggle closer to her. She looked down and smiled "So how far along are you?"

Olivia sat up and placed her hand on her stomach "I'm nine weeks"

Alex looked down at Olivia's stomach for a moment before looking back up "So are you out of the danger zone?"

"Well not completely. I'm older so there's always the chance of something going wrong, but so far everything looks good" Olivia paused a moment and looked down at their joined hands.

"Olivia what's wrong?" Alex encouraged her to look up "You know you can tell me anything"

"I know I asked you to have a picnic in the park with me tomorrow, but do you think you could spend the morning with me also?" Alex looked puzzled for a moment. Olivia sighed "I have a doctor's appointment in the morning and I was wondering if you would go with me?"

Alex stared at Olivia a moment; she couldn't believe it Olivia wanted her to go to the doctor with her. What does this mean? Alex was trying to figure out why Olivia had asked her to join her when she suddenly knew what she needed to do. She sat up a little straighter and looked Olivia in the eyes "I would love to go with you, but I think we need to discuss things first"

"What things?" Olivia asked a little nervous.

Alex ran her fingers through her hair and hesitantly began "Olivia for the past two years all I've been able to do is dream about coming home to you, and now here I am. I know it's going to sound cliché but being away from you made me realize how much I truly cared for you, and the night in the hotel sealed the deal for me" she took a moment to wipe her tears from her face "Olivia I love you and I think I always have" she noticed Olivia was crying as well. Olivia started to say something but Alex cut her off "Olivia I want a life with you" she reached out and placed a hand on Olivia's, which was still resting on her stomach "and I would like to be part of your child's life. However I need to know in what capacity you want me in your life. I'm afraid of becoming attached, to you and your baby, and then not being allowed to be part of your life. Olivia I would love nothing more than for us to be able to pick up where we left off, but I need to know how you feel. Olivia I need to know what you want"

Olivia took a moment and the longer the silence continued the more worried Alex became, finally Olivia took a deep breath and began "Alex the entire time you were gone I was the same way, all I could do is hope and pray that you would be able to come home" she reached her hand out and placed it on the side of Alex's face "Alex I love you too. I know it may sound silly considering we have only dated for a month but in my mind we've been together for two years. This time apart has only served to show me how much you mean to me. I couldn't even entertain the thought of seeing anyone else because I was with you" She reached down and moved Alex's hand from covering hers and placed it flat against her stomach "Alex I want you in my life and I want you in my child's life"

They were both openly crying at this point and Alex couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. Olivia loved her and wanted a life with her. Alex reached out and placed her hand on Olivia's cheek and wiped a few tears away. She knew what she wanted but didn't want to push Olivia but in that moment she couldn't help herself, she leaned forward and slowly pressed her lips to Olivia's. She could taste their tears and she couldn't help but whimper when she heard Olivia moan into the kiss. Alex wasn't sure how long she had been kissing Olivia but she finally had to pull away for air. When she opened her eyes she couldn't help but smile, she was staring at the one woman she loved more than anything.

Olivia leaned in and placed another kiss on Alex's lips "So you never answered my question" Alex cocked her head for a moment trying to remember what Olivia had asked, she then grinned when she remembered "Yeah that question. So will you go to my doctor's appointment tomorrow?"

Alex smiled and wiped a few tears away "Yes I'll go with you, I'd love to go with you" Alex stood "I should probably get going. What time is your appointment?"

Olivia stood and held Alex's hand "Well my appointment is at ten" she hesitated for a moment "but I was hoping maybe you would stay here with me tonight"

Alex grinned "I would love to stay here, but are you sure? I don't want you to feel that you have to ask me. I don't want to push you"

"Alex you're not pushing me. I've dreamed about this moment and I just want you here with me. I don't mean we have to do anything, I think it would be good to wait just a bit. I just want to fall asleep with your arms around me, I want to wake up and see you"

Alex pulled Olivia into a tight hug "I can't wait to wake up and see your face. I need to go back to my hotel and get a change of clothes for tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay, but hurry back"

Alex leaned in for a kiss "I will" she walked to the door she turned back to face Olivia "I love you"

Olivia smiled "I love you too"

Alex practically skipped down the steps and back to the sidewalk. She didn't think she could be this happy. She had her life back, she had Olivia back and Olivia was expecting a baby and wanted Alex to be part of the baby's life. For the first time in a long time Alex was happy.

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A/N: Okay I know this chapter was a little fluffy but I couldn't help it. In case you're wondering there will be drama coming down the road.


	3. Chapter 3

Once again thank you for the reviews, you have no idea how much I enjoy them. I love seeing what everyone thinks. Disclaimer see chapter one. As always reviews are welcome, let me know what you think. Enjoy!

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Chapter 3

Alex sat next to Olivia in the waiting room of the doctor's office. This was a place in life Alex had hoped she would be in she just never expected it to actually happen. She stole another sideways glance at Olivia; now that she knew she was pregnant Alex understood why Olivia looked so beautiful. She was glowing. Alex had never thought Olivia could be more beautiful than she already was, but she is. Alex had to admit a pregnant Olivia was a turn on. She was brought back to reality by Olivia's voice.

"Alex"

"Hmm"

Olivia grinned "Where were you?"

"I was thinking about how happy I am to be back with you.

Olivia grinned back at her "Well I'm glad you're back with me"

Alex held Olivia's hand tighter and smiled when she felt Olivia lean over and lay her head on her shoulder. Alex let her thoughts drift back to the night before and she and Olivia admitting their love for one another. Her thoughts then turned to that morning.

_Alex slowly woke up when she felt the sunlight hitting her eyelids. She lay there for a moment trying to figure out where she was when she realized she wasn't in her own bed. She began to panic for a moment when she felt the body next to hers. She quickly opened her eyes and smiled when she realized where she was, she was in Olivia's bed and Olivia was curled up in her arms. Alex relaxed and pulled Olivia back against her and wrapped her arm tighter around her waist. She nuzzled her noze against the back of Olivia's neck and inhaled her scent. Alex couldn't help but allow a few tears to escape; she was exactly where she wanted to be. She felt Olivia stir as she began to wake. Alex rose up so she could look at the brunette and instantly knew that watching her wake up was something she wanted to do for the rest of her life._

"_So it wasn't a dream" Olivia said, her voice husky from sleep._

_Alex smiled "No it wasn't" she leaned in for what she hoped would be a lifetime of good morning kisses. "I love you" she whispered as she pulled back._

"_I love you too" Olivia whispered._

_They settled back down enjoying the silence and each other's company. Alex began trailing her fingers along Olivia's stomach and thinking about the tiny life growing there._

"_Hmm, this is exactly how I imagined it" Olivia said._

"_Imagined what?"_

"_This, us, our life" Olivia sighed. "When I decided to go through with this I couldn't help but think about what it would be like if you were here with me. When I was having the procedure done I lay on the table and thought about you. I thought about us lying in bed like this and you resting your hand on my belly" she paused a moment to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I thought about us picking out baby clothes and furniture. I thought about picking out baby names and you holding my hand during delivery" she smiled "or me holding yours as you gave birth" _

_Alex laughed she had never thought about carrying a child herself but she knew if she ever did Olivia was the person she wanted to do it with. "I thought about that too Olivia. I used to dream about us being together, having a family. I imagined school plays and family vacations, sending out Christmas cards. I want to experience it all with you" she leaned in for another kiss and was surprised when Olivia quickly pulled away. Alex began to panic that she had pushed too far or said too much. "Liv, baby what's wrong?"_

"_Gotta go" was all Olivia said as she ran for the bathroom. Alex was still concerned about what she may have said until she heard Olivia being sick in the bathroom. Alex walked over and began to push open the door. "Don't come in Alex, you don't need to see me like this"_

_Alex pushed open the door, and knelt beside Olivia. She began rubbing circles on Olivia's back trying to soothe her. When Olivia finally stopped Alex settled her back against the side of the tub and wet a washcloth and began gently wiping her face. "Why did you tell me not to come in?"_

"_You don't need to see me being sick"_

"_Okay not that I want to see you sick but I'm here for you. Olivia I'm in this for the long haul, and if that means holding your hair back while you puke your guts up every morning then that's what I'm going to do" Alex said as she pressed her lips to Olivia's temple._

_Olivia chuckled "Well if you really want to watch"_

_Alex laughed and continued to wipe the cool cloth across Olivia's face and neck. She hated to see Olivia sick but she knew the payoff would be worth it. Olivia was sick one more time and once she was feeling a little better Alex helped her up while she brushed her teeth and then back to bed for a little bit. They lay back down until Olivia was feeling a little better and then got up and began getting ready for the doctor's appointment. As they sat side by side in the cab Alex couldn't help herself and reached over and took Olivia's hand, she was thrilled when Olivia laced their fingers together._

Alex was startled when she felt Olivia put her hand on her shoulder "Are you coming?" Olivia asked.

Alex's face lit up "You bet" Alex stood quietly off to the side as Olivia had her vitals and blood taken. She was still in her chair when Olivia motioned for her to scoot over next to her. "So how are you feeling?" Alex asked after she moved over to Olivia's side.

"I'm okay; the morning sickness usually doesn't last too long. Most days it starts a little after I wake up and is gone by mid-morning, but some days it's starts as early as four or five am and can last until lunchtime. I think today it was improved by the beautiful blonde who was taking care of me"

Alex pressed a kiss to the back of Olivia's hand "Well you better get used to it. Now that I'm back I plan on taking care of you from now on" Alex stared into the eyes that she loved and had missed so much. She couldn't imagine ever not wanting to take care of Olivia. She was about to lean in for a kiss when there was a knock at the door. She quickly pulled back unsure of how Olivia would feel about public displays of affection.

"Good morning Olivia, how are you feeling today?" her doctor asked.

"Okay, a little morning sickness this morning but it wasn't as bad as some days"

Alex sat in a chair beside the table Olivia was on, a little unsure of what she should be doing. She became nervous when the doctor turned to her and extended her hand "I'm Dr. Kara Lee, and you are?"

Alex was about to speak when Olivia spoke up "Dr. Lee this is my girlfriend Alex" It was all Alex could do to hold the tears at bay. It had been two years since she had heard Olivia tell someone she was her girlfriend and aside from Olivia telling her she loved her it was the best thing she'd heard in a while.

Dr. Lee looked confused for a minute but quickly recovered "Oh, okay it's nice to meet you Alex"

"I know I've never mentioned her but it's kind of a long story" Olivia said smiling at Alex.

Dr. Lee smiled "Don't worry about it. Now what do you say we get down to business? I want to do an ultrasound" Olivia began to look worried "Don't worry Olivia I just want to make sure everything's okay. Since you're a little older I want to do ultrasounds more often than usual just to keep an eye on the baby"

Alex was worried at first but quickly became excited that she was going to get to see the baby. She couldn't help but stare when Olivia pulled her shirt up and undid her pants and pushed them down a little, exposing her belly for the doctor to check. She had never seen this much of Olivia and she had to tell herself to get control since they were in public. She continued to stare at Olivia's flat stomach, almost as if she was trying to see the baby inside. Alex blushed when she felt Olivia take her hand and smile at her "Sorry"

"For what?" Olivia asked.

Alex leaned in a little closer "For staring. I just can't believe there is a little Olivia growing in there" she placed a light kiss on Olivia's cheek when she felt her hand being squeezed tighter.

"Okay Olivia are you ready to see your baby?" Dr. Lee asked.

Olivia smiled and looked into Alex's eyes "Yes we're ready to see our baby"

Alex had been struggling all morning to hold back the tears but lost it when she heard Olivia refer to the baby as theirs. She quickly began wiping the tears away so she would have clear vision for seeing the baby. She stared into Olivia's eyes while the doctor did her exam and mouthed 'I love you' and smiled when Olivia returned it.

"Okay ladies here you go, not much to see but a little more than last time" Dr. Lee said as she turned the monitor for them to see.

Both ladies gasped and Olivia squeezed Alex's hand again "Oh wow it's grown quite a bit since the first scan"

"Yes it has. Everything looks good and you're right on track for where you should be in your pregnancy"

Alex stared at the tiny figure on the screen, she knew she was crying but didn't care at this point. Her tears fell even harder when a rhythmic noise took over the room "Oh my God, is that?"

"That's the heartbeat, nice and strong" Dr. Lee replied.

Alex continued to stare at the screen even after it had been turned off. She waited as Olivia wiped her stomach off and sat up. Alex took her hand as they walked out to schedule Olivia's next appointment. When they made it to the sidewalk Alex pulled Olivia in for a tight hug "God I love you"

Olivia pulled back and smiled "I love you too" Olivia stepped out and hailed a cab and gave the driver the address of Alex's favorite deli.

"You remember?"

"Of course I remember. How many times did we eat there in those couple months and even before?" Olivia ducked her head "I ate there at least once a week while you were gone, it made me feel close to you"

Alex pulled Olivia to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulder "Baby I'm so sorry I had to leave you but I promise I will never leave you again"

Olivia placed a kiss to Alex's neck and chuckled when Alex shivered "It wasn't your fault, but it's all in the past now. Let's just focus on us and the future" she said as she placed Alex's hand on her stomach.

After getting sandwiches and a dessert from the deli they made their way into a quiet corner of the park. Alex couldn't help but moan as she took a bite of her sandwich "Oh my God this tastes so good" They ate the rest of their lunch in silence; enjoying one another's company and watching people as they went about their day. Alex couldn't take her eyes off a young girl with brown hair who was playing just over from the bench they were sitting on. She smiled when the little girl ran over and threw her arms around her blonde mother.

"You know that's gonna be you in a few years" Olivia said as she nudged Alex's shoulder. Alex grinned but suddenly sighed and ducked her head. "What's wrong sweetie?" Olivia asked taking hold of Alex's hand.

Alex sighed, she was about to ask a question that she was afraid it would scare or upset Olivia. She took a deep breath and began "Olivia I know I want a future with you and I know you said that you want one with me as well, but what I need to know what role I'm going to have in your child's life" She wiped a couple tears from her eyes "I know I said this last night but I'm just afraid of getting attached and you not wanting me to be with you and the baby the way I want to be with you" She kept her head down almost afraid to look at Olivia. She slowly raised her head when she felt Olivia take her hand.

"Alex, sweetie look at me" Alex finally allowed her gaze to meet Olivia's and she saw only love in her eyes. "Alex I want you in my life and I want you in my baby's life, **our** baby's life" Alex couldn't help but smile again when she heard Olivia say 'our baby'. "Alex I want you there for everything; from the morning sickness to the delivery room. I want you there for three am feedings and I want you there when he or she has a nightmare and wants to crawl in bed with us" Olivia reached out and wiped the tears from Alex's face "Now do you understand what role I want you to have in this baby's life?" Alex nodded and Olivia smiled "Alex you are just as much this baby's parent as I am"

Alex couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry so she settled for both. She leaned in for a kiss and smiled into it when she felt Olivia place her hand on the back of her neck and old her in place. When they broke apart from lack of air Alex smiled "What do you say we go back to your apartment and get a change of clothes for you and we go to my hotel room?" she noticed the shocked look on Olivia's face. Alex laughed "I don't mean like that. I just mean let me treat you, or well I guess let the Marshall Service treat you" they both laughed at that. "They put me up in an even nicer place than last time; it would be like a mini vacation"

"That sounds nice" Olivia said standing and taking Alex's hand.

That evening in Alex's hotel room they decided to order room service and watch a movie. Alex had missed this, being curled up with Olivia watching a movie. She had never thought she would miss something so simple but decided then and there it was something she would never take advantage of again. Alex was about to turn the movie back on as Olivia came back from the bathroom when Olivia held a newspaper up with several listings circled "What's this?"

Alex took the paper and laid it to the side "I was just looking for some places on the plane trip back. I had circled a few that sounded nice. I can't live in a hotel forever" she said with a chuckle and pulled Olivia's head into her lap. She was about to start the movie again when Olivia took the remote from her hand. "What?"

Olivia lay there for a moment before tilting her head to look up at Alex "I know a nice place you could live"

Alex looked down at her "Oh really, where? I hope it's close to you" she said with a smile.

Olivia kissed Alex's hand "Yeah it's really close" she took a deep breath "Alex I want you to move in with me" Alex was about to say something when Olivia cut her off "I know what you're going to say. You're going to say it's too soon and you're afraid of pushing me into something but you're not. Alex the whole time you were gone all I could think about was how great it would be to go to sleep with you next to me or wake up and your face be the first thing I see"

Alex could barely breathe; Olivia wanted her to live with her. Even though Olivia said it wasn't too soon Alex still worried Olivia was doing it because it's what Alex wanted but the sincere look in Olivia's eyes told her that Olivia wanted it as much as she did. She figured she was quiet for a little too long when she felt Olivia begin to turn away. She put her hand gently on Olivia's face and turned her back to her "Olivia are you sure?"

"I'm positive. Will you at least promise you'll think about it? For me, for us?" Olivia almost pleaded as she placed Alex's hand on her belly.

Alex smiled and whispered "Yes I'll think about it" Olivia turned back to the movie and Alex began running her fingers through Olivia's hair. She thought about what was just said she had agreed to consider moving in with Olivia. She lightly chuckled and thought to herself; who was she kidding she didn't have to think, Alex knew she was moving in with Olivia.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again thank you for the favs, follows and reviews. The response to this has been great. I love knowing what everyone thinks about the story. I already have a few ideas for the next chapter but I'm not sure it I'll have it up before the end of the weekend. I hope so because I may be going out of town for a few days and I don't want to leave you hanging for too long. Disclaimer see chapter one. Reviews are welcome, enjoy!

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Chapter 4

Alex moved about Olivia's kitchen trying to put the finishing touches on dinner. In the week since Olivia had asked her to move in Alex had spent most of her time in the detective's apartment. Alex still hadn't gone out much; she still wasn't ready to see her old friends and colleagues. Most of her outings had consisted of trips to the Marshall's office and her mother's attorney's office. Alex was surprised to find out that her mother's will had not been changed before she passed away which meant that Alex was the sole beneficiary of her mother's estate, aside from the money that had been set aside for donation to various charities. She had just finished with the salad when she heard Olivia's key in the door. Alex stepped over to the door and smiled "Hey baby" she said as she leaned in for a kiss.

Olivia smiled back "I don't think I'll ever get tired of coming home and seeing you"

Alex laughed "You better not otherwise it'll make things a little awkward here" Olivia chuckled and looked at what Alex had made. "How does roast chicken and a nice salad sound?"

"Mmm it sounds wonderful, I'm starving" Olivia said as she went to the bedroom to change clothes.

They enjoyed dinner discussing their day and both saying that they had something to share but wanted to wait until after dinner. Once they had finished and cleaned up they went to the living room and curled up on the couch. "So you said you have some news?" Olivia asked.

"I do but I want to hear yours first" Alex said as she slid closer to Olivia.

"Okay. I told Cragen about my pregnancy today"

"And?" Alex asked; she was a little worried about how Olivia was going to feel about being put on desk duty.

"Well he was surprised but really happy. He put me on desk duty effective immediately but I'm still allowed to interview witnesses and victims, but when I get closer to my due date I won't be allowed to interview anyone" Olivia chuckled "He said he thought I had looked a lot happier the last week or so. I couldn't tell him it wasn't just the baby it was also the blonde bombshell who had made her way back into my life"

Alex laughed and leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on Olivia's lips "I know you want to tell everyone and I want to as well, but I'm just not ready. I just want a little more time, besides I kind of like being your little secret"

Olivia laid down and placed her head in Alex's lap "I love being able to keep you to myself but you are too good to be someone's little secret"

"You're good for my ego you know that" Alex said with a laugh as Olivia rose up for a more passionate kiss than they had shared minutes before. She trailed her hand down Olivia's side until it was resting on her stomach. In the past week this had become Alex's favorite thing to do, anytime Olivia was within arm's reach Alex had her hand on her belly. She couldn't wait until she was showing, until she could feel the baby moving around inside.

"So you had some news to share also?" Olivia asked as she made herself more comfortable on Alex's lap.

"Yeah so you know how I've been going to meet with the Marshall's to get all my assets unfrozen and get my life back" Olivia nodded. "Well today they gave me the key to the storage facility where my stuff is and they were able to get everything squared away with the bank to open a new account. I also got a surprise as well" Olivia raised her eyebrows urging Alex to continue. "My mother's lawyer was there. It turns out after I 'died' she never updated her will. Her lawyer said he had tried to get her to do it but she said she just couldn't face it that soon after my death. Of course her heart attack was unexpected and quick so it had never been changed. When she died the Marshalls did whatever it is they do to freeze assets and froze them as well. It turns out that aside from a nice amount she had set aside for donation to charity I was the sole beneficiary of her estate"

"Wow, that's nice. Not that I'm being nosy but what exactly did she leave you. I'm not asking how much money that's your business not mine. I'm just curious what things she left"

Alex laughed "Olivia you're not being nosy. We're having a baby for crying out loud, anything and everything I have is yours" Olivia smiled and squeezed Alex's hand. Alex grinned "But since you're so curious I'll tell you" Olivia slightly blushed causing Alex to laugh "Well I am now the owner of a home upstate as well as her beach house in the Hamptons. She also left me her money except the sizeable amount that had been set aside for charity. She also left me her stock portfolio, as well as her savings"

"Wow, is there anything she didn't leave you?" Olivia snickered.

Alex laughed "I don't think so" she sat quietly for a minute thinking about how to phrase what she wanted to say next. "Olivia you do know I was serious when I said that everything I have is yours, right?"

Olivia nodded "Yeah and everything I have is yours too. Well what little I have, but the most important thing I have is you"

Alex felt a few tears stinging her eyes "I know, and having you is more important than anything else I have. As long as I have you" she leaned over so she was closer to Olivia's stomach "and you" she said as she stroked Olivia's stomach "I'm the happiest person on earth" They sat quietly for a few minutes before Alex decided to finish what she needed to say. "Olivia what I mean is if you want to take extra time off after the baby is born you can. In fact if for some reason you would want to quit you could. I actually have enough that neither of us needs to work again"

Olivia's eyes widened "Alex not that it matters to me how much money you're worth, but exactly how much are you talking here?"

Alex took a deep breath she knew Olivia didn't care how much or how little money she had, but she was afraid of making Olivia feel uncomfortable. "Well my savings and such are completely separate from what she left me, and I have a trust fund that I've barely touched. I lived off what I made working at the DA's office. However when it comes to what she left me; including stocks, bonds and savings it totals just over three million" Alex held her breath, she didn't think she'd ever seen Olivia's eyes so wide.

"Like three million dollars?" Olivia asked shocked.

Alex snickered "Yes Liv three million dollars. Olivia please understand the money doesn't mean a thing to me if I don't have you. You are far more important than any of the material things and if it makes you uncomfortable then I will gladly give it up. You and this baby is the only thing that matters to me"

Olivia reached up and ran her thumb across Alex's cheek "You and this baby are the most important thing to me too. It's your money to do what you want with but please don't give it up because of me" she smiled "Just know I'm not a kept woman"

Alex laughed "We'll see about that" they sat there discussing Alex's now very sizeable estate and when she would be completely moved in. "So do you remember how we had plans to go away for the weekend?" Alex asked with a sad smile.

Olivia shared the same sad expression "Yeah we were supposed to go the weekend after you" Olivia stopped she couldn't finish the sentence.

"After I got shot. Liv you can say it, it may still be difficult but I've made my peace with what happened to me. You need to accept it as well, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here right now. I would really be dead. You pressing your hand to the wound and you're voice begging me to stay with you is the only thing that kept me from dying" She wiped a few tears from her eyes as well as Olivia's.

"I'm trying Alex I really am, it might still take me some time but I'm trying" Alex nodded "Now what about that weekend?"

"I know I had promised you Martha's Vineyard but how would you feel about the Hamptons?" Olivia's eyes widened. "I know you're not on call this weekend and the Marshall Service has kept up my mother's house there. So what do you say to going up there for some time alone this weekend?"

"I would love too"

They spent the next hour or so discussing anything and everything, from Alex moving in to the baby and where they would put everything. It had been nearly two hours since dinner when Olivia took a sudden craving for pizza. Alex had been in the bedroom when she heard a knock at the door, assuming it was their pizza she entered the living room to see if Olivia needed change. She was shocked when she saw Elliot standing in the living room. Alex knew she was wearing a surprised expression but she knew it couldn't compare to Elliot's expression.

"Alex?" Elliot said, clearly shocked "What are you doing here?"

"Umm I'm back"

"What do you mean you're back?" Elliot said as he took a step further into the apartment.

"The cartel's been dealt with and Alex is safe. She's out of the program, isn't it great?" Olivia said as she stepped closer to Alex.

"Yeah, yeah that's great but what I meant was what are you doing here in Liv's apartment"

Alex could already tell by Elliot's expression and tone he was not happy about her being back and especially being in Olivia's apartment. She could feel the old prosecutor trying to come out; she wanted to look at him and say 'For a detective you're not to bright. It's late, we're both in our pajamas, what do you think I'm doing here?' She didn't though for Olivia's sake. Alex knew Elliot had never really cared for her, he was nice enough and she appreciated his protectiveness over her once they knew the cartel was after her but she thought he only did that for Olivia. Alex did know that he didn't like their relationship. It could've had something to do with his faith but she always felt it was because he wanted Olivia for himself. She knew he was married and she thought that he loved his wife; she knew he loved his children. Alex always felt Elliot wanted Olivia single so her attention would be on him and not someone else. Kind of like having his cake and eating it too, he had his wife and family and he had Olivia. Alex was pulled from her thoughts and felt her body begin to relax when she felt Olivia take her hand.

"Elliot, Alex and I are back together" Olivia said with a smile.

"What do you mean you're back together? Liv she left you, twice. You're just going to let her waltz back in here like nothing happened?" Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing. She always knew Elliot could be a jerk sometimes but tonight was taking the cake.

"Are you out of your mind Elliot? She left because her life was being threatened, she couldn't help it. She left again because her life was still in danger if not more so. As much as I hated it her safety was and still is the most important thing to me. Yes I'm letting her waltz back in here as you put it, because I love her and she loves me"

Alex slid her arm around Olivia's waist and pulled her close. She knew if she didn't do something with her hands she would punch Elliot. She couldn't believe that he would use the fact that she was placed in the program, for her own safety, against her.

"Liv are you thinking this through? What about" he trailed off but Alex knew what he was about to say, he was about to ask about the baby. If she wasn't mad before she definitely was now, and apparently Olivia was thinking the same thing.

"What about what Elliot? The baby? She already knows I told her the night she came back, and she's as happy and excited as I am"

Elliot stepped closer and Alex immediately went into protection mode, she knew in an instant she would get between him and Olivia if necessary. While she knew Elliot wouldn't hurt Olivia, she was ready to stop him from berating her over their choice.

"You told her?" Elliot said, his voice getting louder.

"Yes I told her. Elliot I love Alex and she loves me, and she loves our baby as much as I do"

"Your baby, as in both of you?" Alex nodded along with Olivia "Olivia what is wrong with you? I told you I'd be there for you. I said I would take you to your appointments, help set up the nursery, go with you to the hospital. You have me to rely on so why do you need her?"

Alex knew Olivia could more than hold her own but she had heard enough "Elliot I know you didn't like the fact that Olivia and I were dating then and you obviously don't like it now, but I love her and nothing is going to change that. I want nothing more than to spend my life with her and taking care of her. Elliot you have your family, let us have ours"

Olivia had tears in her eyes "Elliot I'm asking you to understand that we're happy and we love each other. If this has anything to do with your faith I understand, while I may not agree with it I respect you're right to believe it. So I'm asking you to respect me, to respect us"

Alex knew Olivia was nearing her breaking point and she didn't want either of them to say something they would regret or that would cause damage to their partnership. She wrapped her arm tighter around Olivia's waist and felt Olivia do the same.

"Olivia this has nothing to do with my faith or beliefs. When you told me that you had dated a few women in the past I told you that it didn't matter to me, and it still doesn't. I couldn't care less that you are dating a woman"

"So it only matters because it's me" Alex said, it was more a statement than a question. This was her conformation that Elliot didn't like her being with Olivia.

"Is that it Elliot?" Olivia asked, almost challenging him.

"Okay yeah that's what my problem is. I don't think you two should be together. Liv I told you before she's fine as a prosecutor and a person, but no way is she good enough for you" Elliot's expression showed he didn't regret what he said he just regretted saying it when he did.

Alex was about to speak when she felt Olivia's hand leave her waist as she took a step forward "Get out" Elliot was also about to speak when Olivia cut him off again "You ass. I can't believe you would come in here and talk to me the way you did, no wait yes I can believe it. What I really can't believe is how you're talking to Alex. She has done nothing to you and yet you walk in here like you own the place and begin putting her down. Alex is twice the person you'll ever be. I don't know what your problem is but you better figure it out real quick, because Alex and I are in this for good and if you don't like us being together then we can't be around each other outside of work. So the choice is yours Elliot, either accept that Alex is in my life and she always will be or from this point on we will have a strictly professional relationship"

Alex couldn't believe what she had just heard; never in her life did she think Olivia would give Elliot an ultimatum. Alex walked over a little closer to the two detectives and took Olivia's hand "Elliot I have never nor do I plan to ever hurt Olivia. I love her more than anything in the world, and the entire time I was gone all I could think about was getting back home to her. So while I actually agree with you that I'm nowhere near good enough for her. I'm thrilled beyond belief that she loves me and wants me in her life and I plan on showing her everyday how much I love her and how special she is. However I won't stand here and listen to you talk to her the way you just have. Especially in her apartment" Alex paused and against her better judgment decided to add more fuel to the fire "I mean our apartment" Alex felt Olivia squeeze her hand when she mentioned their apartment.

Elliot stood there for a minute "Your apartment, you're just moving her in here?"

"It's not like she's a stranger Elliot" Olivia said incredulously. "Now I believe I told you to leave"

Elliot turned to leave, he stood in the open doorway "Liv I don't want this to affect our friendship or partnership"

Olivia cut him off "I don't either but like I said it's totally up to you" Elliot stared at them for a second and then left. Alex stared at Olivia for a minute before Olivia pulled her into a hug "I'm so sorry you had to hear that"

Alex pulled back and tucked a stray hair behind Olivia's ear "Don't worry about me, I've had worse said to me by better people" Olivia gave Alex a sad smile "What I hate is that he talked to you the way he did. I always knew he didn't like the idea of us being together. You know after I left I used to think that he was probably glad that I had to leave, that way we wouldn't be together"

Olivia looked shocked "I'll admit he was never happy with the idea of us being together but he was genuinely upset when we thought you had died, and even though you went into the program he was happy you were alive. Believe it or not he even shed a few tears at your funeral. Granted I think it had something to do with how hurt I was but he was upset"

Alex pulled Olivia back to her; throughout the time she had been back they had shared many moments like this, wrapped in each other's arms while shedding a few tears. They had cried for what they had, the time they had lost and for the future that was to come. Alex also knew that she would never tell Olivia about the time Elliot came to visit her when they were dating. Alex had thought it was going to be the standard 'if you hurt her speech' but she was wrong. Elliot had come to ask her to break it off before she had time to hurt Olivia. He said he wanted Olivia to be happy but Alex wasn't the one to make her happy, and that Alex was not good enough for Olivia. Alex had been furious and informed Elliot that she had no intention of hurting her. She knew that if she ever told Olivia of that conversation the damage to her friendship with Elliot would be irreparable.

A couple hours later as they lay in bed Alex was grateful that Olivia seemed to have forgotten about Elliot and the argument they had had. They were in what had become a standard position for them; Olivia on her side with Alex curled up behind her gently rubbing her hand over Olivia's stomach. She was afraid to let her hand wander any lower but she could swear she felt Olivia's belly beginning to grow.

"So about this weekend, what are our plans?" Olivia asked as she tilted her head back to look at Alex.

Alex leaned back just enough so they were looking eye to eye "We can do whatever it is you want to do. I'm mostly looking forward to having you all to myself without any interruptions from anyone. I know the weather's gotten cooler but we can still take a walk on the beach, maybe hit a few shops and there are several nice restaurants. To be honest I'm looking forward to sitting in front of a fire looking out at the ocean with you beside me" She pressed a kiss to Olivia's forehead "Is there anything you have in mind?"

Olivia smiled "That all sounds nice but I'm just looking forward to having time alone with you so we can do whatever we want" she wagged her eyebrows and gave Alex a mischievous grin "If you get my drift"

Alex felt her mouth go dry and had to take a deep breath to maintain her control. When Alex was sure she had herself under control she leaned in and pressed a kiss to Olivia's lips "Oh I definitely get your drift" They settled back down and Alex feeling emboldened by Olivia's declaration allowed her hand to drift lower and up under Olivia's shirt, resting it on her belly.

"I noticed my pants barely buttoned this morning" Olivia said out of the blue.

Alex rose up and looked at her girlfriend "Roll over" she waited for Olivia to roll onto her back and then pulled the blanket back. She hadn't seen Olivia's stomach since the doctor's office, she reached over and turned the lamp on and took a deep breath before pulling Olivia's shirt up. She gasped at what she saw "Oh my God, baby you're showing!"

Olivia rose up to look "I swear I wasn't this morning, I mean I noticed my pants we getting tighter but I didn't think I was showing"

Alex jumped out of bed and pulled Olivia with her to the full length mirror on the back of the closet door. Alex stood behind Olivia and wrapped her arms around her waist; she ran one hand down over Olivia's belly and held her shirt tight, she then held her other hand at the top of the small bump.

"Oh my God I am showing!" Olivia said in a surprised tone.

Alex rested her chin on Olivia's shoulder and turned to place a kiss on her neck before turning back to look at their reflection "Yeah you are and it makes you even more beautiful. It's more real now, there's a baby in there"

"It's our baby in there" Olivia said as she turned in Alex's arms and pulled her in for a kiss.

They went back to bed and before Olivia had time to roll over Alex leaned down and pulled her shirt up "Hi baby" she whispered, trying to hold her tears back but failing when she looked up and her gaze met Olivia's and noticed the tears in the detective's eyes as well "We're your Mommies and we love you very much, and I want you to know that we love each other very much too" Alex held her breath as she leaned in and placed a light kiss to Olivia's small baby bump. She chuckled when she felt Olivia shiver, Alex knew how Olivia felt she wanted Olivia more than ever but not now, there was still the possibility that Olivia could be called out to help with a case. She wanted to wait; she wanted their first time to be perfect. She rose back up and noticed the look in Olivia's eyes. She settled down behind Olivia and pulled her back tight against her, hand resting on her belly. "Only a few more days baby. I love you"

Olivia sighed "I can't wait, and I love you too" she said as she settled into Alex's arms and drifted off to sleep.

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A/N: I'm not an Elliot hater I just felt like this would work for the story. I always liked him but thought he could be a jerk at times, especially as the series went on. So please don't hate me if you're an Elliot fan.


	5. Chapter 5

Well thank you once again for the reviews as well as the favs and follows. I had wanted to get this chapter up before the weekend ended and am surprised I finished it this soon. Since my plans to be out of town fell through I hope to have the next chapter up in a few days. Reviews are welcome, and as always enjoy!

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Chapter 5

Alex woke and was surprised to find Olivia still curled up against her with her head lying on her chest. Alex ran her hand down Olivia's arm and rested it on her hip. Alex yawned and smiled to herself as she thought about their late night activities. Since they had returned from their weekend in the Hamptons a couple weeks ago it seemed that they had barely been able to keep their hands off each other. Never mind the fact that Olivia had entered her second trimester and her hormones had kicked into overdrive. Alex pulled the blanket up tighter around them and pulled Olivia closer to her. She closed her eyes and thought back to that weekend.

_Alex opened her eyes and immediately smiled as thoughts from the previous night entered her mind. For two years Alex had imagined what it would be like to finally make love to Olivia, and she had to admit that her imagination couldn't even compare to the reality. It was also the first time that being intimate with someone had brought tears to her eyes and it only made her more emotional when she saw the tears in Olivia's eyes as well. She glanced down at the brunette who was resting her head on her chest. Even though the blanket was covering them Alex could clearly picture Olivia's body, she had made a point to completely memorize it the night before. Their activities had lasted late into the night and into the early morning hours as well. Alex smiled as she felt Olivia shift against her as she began to wake up._

"_Hi" Olivia said as she looked up at Alex._

"_Hi" Alex stared into Olivia's eyes for a minute before using her weight to roll them so that she was lying on top of Olivia. She quickly adjusted herself being mindful of the baby bump. She leaned in for a good morning kiss "I love you" she whispered as she pulled back._

"_Hmm, I love you too" Olivia replied as she ran her fingers through Alex's hair. "Last night was…" she trailed off closing her eyes._

_Alex laughed "Yeah it was" she sighed and waited for Olivia to open her eyes "Olivia I have dreamed about this moment since we first started dating, actually since before we started dating" Olivia laughed and Alex blushed "But I have to say that my dreams couldn't hold a candle to the real thing. You are amazing" Alex said as she leaned in for another kiss. Alex was unsure how long the makeout session had lasted but she finally had to pull away when her lungs were crying out for air._

"_You are pretty amazing yourself counselor" Olivia replied as she was gasping for air. They lay there looking at each other for a few minutes when Olivia suddenly pushed Alex off of her "Why now?" Olivia asked as she ran for the bathroom._

_Alex chuckled to herself and got up and headed to the bathroom to help her girlfriend. Olivia's morning sickness wasn't quite as bad as what it was when Alex first returned but she still had her days. They had found out that if Olivia ate a couple crackers and drank some ginger ale before going to bed if she did get sick it wasn't quite as bad. However considering how preoccupied they were the night before they had forgotten. Alex walked into the bathroom and grabbed a cloth from the cabinet before wetting and crouching down beside Olivia. She held Olivia's hair back and placed the cloth on the back of her neck. "You okay?"_

_Olivia finally held her head up "We forgot the crackers and ginger ale last night"_

_Alex threw her head back and laughed "Yes we did, I'm sorry"_

_Olivia gave a weak smile "It was worth it" after a few more minutes she sat back against the wall and allowed Alex to continue to run the cloth across her face and neck. She stilled Alex's hand "Thank you Alex"_

"_For what?"_

"_For everything. You just stepped right in and held my hand through this, you don't have to hold my hand and watch me puke my guts up every morning but you do"_

_Alex grinned and placed a kiss to Olivia's temple "Like I told you I'm here for good and I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be holding your hand right up until you push our baby into the world, and I'll be holding your hand until the day I leave this world" Alex said with a few tears in her eyes._

_Olivia wiped a few tears from her own eyes as well "Me too Alex, me too"_

_They spent the rest of their morning in bed allowing Olivia to recover from her bout with morning sickness and allowing them to both rest from the night before. That afternoon they went out for a light lunch and wandered around town stopping in several different shops. Alex pulled Olivia into one of her favorite shops, a bookstore that one of her mother's friends owned. Alex was grateful that the people working were new and didn't know her. She had run into several of her mother's friends the evening before who were glad she was okay and able to return to her life. For Alex the only perk to running into them was getting to introduce Olivia as her girlfriend. They both laughed when they met up at the checkout counter and realized that among all their choices they had both picked out baby books. Alex choosing a book on what to expect during pregnancy and Olivia choosing a baby names book. Alex had also picked out a couple books for the baby. When Olivia gave her a confused look Alex explained that she has always loved reading since she was a child and she wanted to start a collection of books for their baby. She couldn't wait to begin reading to the baby._

_The rest of the day was spent lazing around the house; they took a walk on the beach and spent the evening in front of the fire looking out at the ocean. Their night was once again spent learning each other's bodies._

"Good morning" Olivia said as she pressed a kiss to Alex's neck.

"Mmm, good morning to you too" Alex said, leaning down and placing a kiss to the top of Olivia's head. She wiggled around until they were laying on their sides facing one another "Any morning sickness this morning?"

Olivia laid there a moment "No, I think I'm okay this morning. So that makes a whole week without any" she chuckled and held up her hand and crossed her fingers "Just in case"

"So what's on the agenda for today, other than you sitting at your desk getting fatter by the minute as you put it?"

Olivia laughed "I am" she raised the blanket up giving Alex a view of her naked form "Look at me. Can you honestly look me in the eye and say I'm not getting fat?"

Alex looked at her girlfriend's body, as many times as she had seen Olivia naked in the last couple weeks she still couldn't help but look. While her belly was still able to be hidden with the right clothing it was growing quickly, but there was no way Olivia was fat. Alex finally forced herself to pull her eyes away from Olivia's body and look her in the eyes "Baby there is no way in this world you are fat. You are beautiful" she placed her hand on Olivia's belly "This baby makes you beautiful, don't ever think you're fat" she reached over and wiped a few tears from Olivia's eyes, while Olivia wiped tears from hers.

"So what are you doing today?" Olivia asked.

Alex took a deep breath "Well I was thinking maybe you could take me to the precinct and introduce me as your girlfriend" Alex waited a minute for it to sink in.

"Really?" Olivia asked excitedly.

"Yeah" Alex said while nodding. She knew Olivia had wanted to tell everyone that she was back and they were together, but she was willing to wait until Alex was ready. It wasn't that Alex didn't want to she just wanted to wait a little while. She wasn't ready for the questions about her time in the program and questions about the cartel, but now she was ready. She loved Olivia and couldn't wait to be able to go around their friends and colleagues again.

Olivia seemed to think for a minute "Well since I'm getting to introduce you to the guys, again, maybe today would be a good day to tell them I'm pregnant. I mean I can't keep it a secret much longer"

Alex had been surprised that Olivia hadn't told the Munch and Fin about the pregnancy when she told Cragen but Olivia said she didn't want to tell too many just in case something went wrong. When Alex asked how she explained being on desk duty Olivia said she made up an excuse about back spasms and the doctor felt it was best she stay on desk duty for a while. "If you're telling them about the baby I definitely want to be there for that. I can't wait to see the look on Munch's face"

Olivia laughed "Me too it'll be priceless" Olivia was quiet for a second "Alex will you have a problem with me referring to you as the baby's parent as well?"

"No, baby I love being referred to as his or her parent. Why would you ask that?"

Olivia sighed and rolled onto her back "I just don't want to scare you, well not scare you. It's just this all happened so fast and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, that's all"

Alex reached over and turned Olivia's head so they were facing one another "Don't ever think you're making me uncomfortable. It was all I could do to keep from telling my mother's friends that we were expecting a baby. I wanted you to tell those closest to you first, but I promise you once you've told the guys all bets are off. I'm going to tell everyone I come in contact with that we're having a baby" she smiled "In fact I'm considering taking out a billboard in Time's Square"

Olivia laughed "I wouldn't put it past you" she rolled over and climbed from the bed "Now come on I believe we have enough time for a shared shower before I have to be at work" she said with a wink and entered the bathroom.

Alex rolled her eyes and smiled "You're gonna be the death of me Olivia Benson" she said as she made her way to the door. She was surprised when the door opened and Olivia jerked her into the bathroom, causing Alex to squeal.

"Yeah but what a way to go counselor"

Alex cautiously looked around the precinct as they entered, it was a habit from her days in the program. Anytime someone looked at her just a little too long it made her nervous it was something she was trying to get over. Most of the people she didn't recognize so they didn't pay her no mind but there were a few whom she did and they all wore the same shocked expression. Just before they entered the squad room she squeezed Olivia's hand a little tighter and smiled when she felt it returned. She took a deep breath and walked into the familiar room she hadn't set foot in for over two years. She saw Munch and Fin sitting at their desks and could see the captain in his office. She suddenly flashed back to the day the guys telling her they had her back and Cragen pulling her into his office to give her his old service revolver. She and Olivia had only been standing there a minute when Fin looked up.

"Oh my God" he said. This caused Munch to look up to see what had gotten his partners attention.

"Counselor" Munch said in the same surprised tone.

"Hey guys, guess whose back" Alex said with a smile.

Both men got up and walked over giving Alex a hug and welcoming her home, neither failed to notice she and Olivia had been holding hands. "When did you get back?" Fin asked.

"Umm a few weeks ago" both men had shocked expressions "I know I should've come to see you or Liv could've at least told you but I just wanted some time to readjust. I couldn't wait to see you though"

"Don't worry about it, were just glad you're back" Fin said with a smile.

"Well I for one am hurt" Munch said "You come back and run to see Liv first? That hurts Alex" Alex, Olivia and Fin all laughed knowing he was joking.

"Like she wanted to see your boney ass" Fin said, lightly shoving his partner "We all knew that Liv would be the first person she would see when she came back"

All four were laughing when the captain walked into the room "Do any of you plan on working today?" he stopped short when he noticed Alex standing in the room "Well I see it but I don't believe it"

"Hi Don" Alex said as she walked over for a hug. She had always liked and respected Don Cragen. Even if their beginning was a little awkward they had quickly became friends and allies. After sitting around for a bit catching up Alex leaned into Olivia and whispered "Is now a good time?" Olivia grinned "Okay then, it's your announcement, I'm just here to hold your hand"

"So guys I have an announcement to make" Olivia waited as Munch and Fin looked at her expectantly and Cragen began to smile since he already knew what was coming. "I'm pregnant" once the initial shock wore off Olivia was enveloped in hugs and well wishes. There were hugs for Alex as well, she may have just returned but everyone knew that Alex was this child's parent just as much as Olivia was.

"Damn counselor, you're good" Fin said with a smirk causing both ladies to blush. "I'm just kidding" he said as he put his arms around them both. They all talked for a little longer about the baby until Munch and Fin were called away on a case.

Olivia took a seat at her desk as Alex was about to leave "Don't forget my doctor's appointment this afternoon"

Alex leaned against the edge of Olivia's desk like she had so many times before "Wouldn't dream of it, 3:30 right?" Olivia nodded. Alex tensed up when she saw Elliot enter the squad room. He had called and left messages repeatedly the weekend they were out of town and when they returned Olivia agreed to talk to him. He had apologized for what he said but Olivia said he must also apologize to Alex, which he reluctantly did. Alex knew he was doing it only to save his friendship and partnership with Olivia so she really didn't want his apology but she accepted it for Olivia's sake. Alex watched as Elliot made his way to his desk, she had planned on kissing Olivia goodbye but her inner child insisted on waiting until Elliot had a good view. She knew she should be more grown up than that but she just couldn't help herself. "Okay I'll pick you up here at three then" Alex glanced at Elliot out of the corner of her eye to make sure he was watching before sliding her hand to the back of Olivia's head and placing a less than chaste kiss on her lips. She couldn't help but smile when she pulled back and noticed the dazed look on her girlfriends face. As she began walking away she smirked at Elliot, who appeared less than happy. She looked back to Olivia "Don't forget three o'clock. I love you" She was almost to the elevators when Olivia had finally found her voice again and called out an 'I love you too'. Alex smiled at what she had done to the detective. She also sensed that things were far from over between her and Elliot.

That night they sat in a Mexican restaurant around the corner from their apartment. So far Olivia hadn't had any strange cravings but she seemed to constantly crave Mexican food. They had been discussing the doctor's appointment and how happy they were that everything looked good and the next appointment they would learn the sex of the baby. "So what did you get into today after you left the precinct?" Olivia asked as she stole the last few chips from the bowl causing Alex to laugh.

Alex motioned the waiter over and ordered more before answering Olivia's question "Not much just ran a few errands, walked around the city a little. I had lunch with one of my friends from college"

"Oh really who?" Olivia asked as she dove into the fresh bowl of chips the waiter just delivered causing Alex to laugh even harder. She looked at Alex with wide eyes "What? I'm eating for two now and besides turtle really wants some chips" Turtle was the nickname Olivia had been calling the baby after looking at one of her ultrasound pictures and thinking the baby looked like a turtle.

Alex laughed and rolled her eyes "Okay what the hell kind of nickname is turtle? As for the friend I had lunch with her name is Amy and we met at Harvard. She works on Wall Street and had heard I was back and wanted to have lunch" Olivia gave Alex a confused look "Okay I know what you're going to ask; she found out I was back because her mother was one of the ladies we had talked to in the Hamptons and she told her. She tracked me down by calling the DA's office and my old secretary called me and gave me her number. I told her all about you and squirt and she can't wait to meet you" Squirt was the nickname she had begun calling the baby and felt that it was a much better name than turtle.

"Sure that sounds great. We can have her over for dinner one evening"

Alex reached across the table and took Olivia's hand "I did something today and I don't want you to be mad at me" Olivia stopped eating and raised her eyebrows, she nodded encouraging Alex to continue "I know you said you're not a kept woman, although I'm not giving up on that" this earned a chuckle from Olivia "I want to make sure our baby will have everything he or she will ever need" she slid a piece of paper across the table "I set up a trust fund for our baby, I also started a college fund. They are both high yield accounts so by the time they reach college their tuition will be paid for. I also set the trust fund so that we are the only ones who can access it until he or she turns twenty five"

Olivia sat there shocked for minute "Alex" she whispered while looking at the paper "You didn't have to do this. I could've opened a college fund"

"I know and your name is on the account also so you can put money in there anytime you want. I know you had said that you wanted to start a college fund; I just figured I would get us a head start. You're not mad are you?"

Olivia squeezed Alex's hand "No sweetheart I'm not mad just surprised that's all. I love that you want to make sure our child is taken care of in the future, and I will most definitely be putting my own money in. I'm not going to leave it all to you"

"Liv I told you I now have more money than I know what to do with, since you won't allow me to turn you into a kept woman I had to find something to do with it. I know you have a pension once you retire but I also set up a retirement account for us so that we can live more than comfortably once you retire. There is also enough left over for you to quit now if you'd like. Like I told you if you want to quit working you can, between what I have and what Mom left neither of us ever have to work again"

Olivia smiled with a few tears in her eyes "I know but I love my job and I'm just not ready to give it up yet. However I've been thinking about taking you up on the offer of taking a little extra time off after the baby is born. That is if you don't mind"

Alex grinned she couldn't wait to take care of Olivia and a baby "No, no I don't mind at all. That just means I'll have you at home even longer" They finished their dinner and as they began walking down the sidewalk Alex was taken by surprise when Olivia suddenly pushed her into an alley and pressed her up against a wall while kissing her senseless. It took Alex a minute to get her bearings when Olivia finally pulled away "Um not that I object but where did that come from?" Alex said a she was panting trying to get her breathing under control.

Olivia grinned and began kissing Alex's neck as she slid her hand under her shirt "Well see earlier the baby was craving Mexican and now I have a craving of my own" she said as she slid her hand further up under Alex's shirt.

Alex could barely breathe, she loved that Olivia's hormones were in overdrive she just sometimes had trouble keeping up with the detective "Liv, baby that sounds fantastic, but can you at least wait until we get home? I'm not really a big fan of sex in public"

Alex couldn't help but laugh as Olivia practically ran, pulling her along behind. When they had finally made it back to the apartment Alex was doing her best to unlock the door but was having trouble due to Olivia's wandering hands. She gasped when she felt Olivia begin to unbutton her jeans. "Olivia, Liv please you gotta stop. At least give me a chance to unlock the door"

"Hurry" Olivia whispered in her ear.

Alex finally opened the door pulling Olivia in with her and pushing her up against the back of the door reaching around her and locking it. "Honey we're home" Alex said as she kissed the spot behind Olivia's ear that she had found out drove the detective crazy. Olivia however got her back by licking the spot on her neck that would cause her to melt instantly "Liv, bed now" Alex managed to squeak out.

"Oh yeah, you're definitely going to want to be laying down for this" Olivia said as she began pulling Alex toward their bedroom. As she walked behind her girlfriend, both stripping as they went, Alex thanked her lucky stars she hadn't went back to work because she was certain she wouldn't be able to move the next morning.

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A/N: Okay I know I kinda left you hanging there, but like I said on one of my other stories I don't plan on writing smut. I don't feel it comes out right when I've tried, besides sometimes I think it's better when left to the imagination. Let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

Your response to this story has been wonderful, thank you so much! In the summary I said this story takes place in S7 but I decided to play around a little bit with the timeline. It's slightly A/U & it's my story so I think I'm allowed to do that. There are also some spoilers for the episode Fault, so if by chance you've not seen the episode here's your warning. Disclaimer see Ch1. The direct quotes from the episode do not belong to me, they belong to the writers and Dick Wolf. Enjoy!

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Chapter 6

Today felt like it had been the longest day of Alex's life. She was sitting in a chair in the exam room with Olivia and tapping her foot on the floor. Today was the day they were to find out the sex of the baby. Alex looked up when she thought she heard Olivia say her name "Huh?"

Olivia grinned "I said you need to stop or you're going to drive the people on the floor below nuts"

Alex ran her hand over her face "I'm sorry I'm just nervous. Why couldn't they have scheduled this appointment in the morning? It drove me crazy sitting at home waiting to come here"

Olivia took her hand "I know how you feel, I was so excited and nervous that I finished all my paperwork plus Munch's; and you know how he lets his stack up" Alex chuckled "What did you do to occupy your time, pace the apartment all day?"

"No, let's just say that I don't think the apartment has ever been this clean" Olivia laughed as the doctor walked into the room.

Dr. Lee smiled "Good afternoon ladies how are we today?"

"We're good" Olivia smiled as she reached out and took Alex's hand.

Alex watched as Dr. Lee went about examining Olivia, she couldn't get over how quickly her belly was growing. "So Olivia have you felt the baby move yet?" Dr. Lee asked.

"I've felt something, it kinda feels like something brushing against me but I haven't felt a kick or anything like that"

"Well you should be feeling that just anytime now so be prepared. Sometimes its scares a first time mother when she feels the baby kick for the first time" Dr. Lee began the ultrasound and after a few minutes of looking and making notes she turned to the couple and smiled. "Okay I have a good shot here so do you want to know the sex?"

Olivia and Alex both nodded "Yes we definitely want to know" Olivia replied.

Dr. Lee turned the monitor for them to see "Congratulations it's a boy"

Both Alex and Olivia began crying "A boy, it's a boy Alex" Olivia said as she smiled through her tears.

Alex leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips "I know baby, we're gonna have a son" Alex continued to wipe her tears as well as Olivia's. Alex was so happy looking at her son on the monitor that she zoned out on the rest of what the doctor was saying. She was so excited to have a son, while she really didn't care either way she just wanted a healthy happy baby, she couldn't help but hope for a little boy. She was also relieved to see Olivia so happy. She knew Olivia had been worried about passing her genes to a boy but Alex had been trying to convince her for weeks that if it was a boy he would be fine. Judging by the look on Olivia's face she had done her job. The next little bit flew by and before Alex knew it they were out of the office and walking down the sidewalk. She wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist and pulled her closer "So, what do you think?"

Olivia looked up from where she was still staring at one of the ultrasound photos "I think he's perfect" she pressed a kiss to Alex's cheek "I don't think I've ever been this happy, well except the day you came back"

Alex chuckled "I know the feeling" she glanced down at the photo one more time before stepping out to hail a cab "What do you say we go home and have dinner, and then maybe we can start discussing baby names?"

"I can't wait" Olivia said as she ducked into the cab.

That night after dinner as they curled up on the couch with the book of baby names Olivia leaned her head against the back of the couch "Ugh, why did you let me eat so much?"

Alex's jaw dropped "Me? I'm lucky I was able to eat my own food. In case you forgot you were stealing food from my plate too"

"See it was your fault you could've stopped me" Olivia laughed "Besides it's not my fault that you are such a great cook, and it's not my fault that you know I crave Mexican and you chose to fix Mexican for dinner"

"Oh shut up" Alex said with a laugh. Cooking was the one thing Alex was grateful to the program for, aside from keeping her alive, she had taken a few cooking classes as a hobby and found out that she enjoyed it. "So before we start discussing names I have a question"

"Okay" Olivia replied as she made herself comfortable.

"I know we spent Thanksgiving with my uncle Bill instead of Elliot's family like you usually do, but do you think for Christmas we could spend the day just you and me? I mean it's going to be our first Christmas together and our only Christmas as just a couple. Next year it'll be me, you and a baby" she sighed "I don't want to take away from your traditions and if you want us to go to the Stabler's then we can go but I just like the thought of it being the two of us"

Olivia squeezed her hand "I think it sounds wonderful. I know that you and Elliot aren't the biggest fans of each other and besides I think it would be a good time to start our own traditions" Half an hour later they hadn't made much headway on a name. Alex was sitting against the arm of the couch with Olivia sitting between her legs so they could both see the book, while Olivia wrote down any names they liked. "What about Jack?"

Alex made a face "Uh no"

"Why not?"

"Two words Olivia, Jack McCoy"

Olivia made a face as well "Okay, moving on"

"How about Mason?" Alex asked.

"Ooh I like that one" Olivia said as she quickly added the name to their list.

"How about Jagger?" Alex asked.

Olivia turned so she was facing Alex "As in Mick?" Alex nodded. "Alex I like the Stones as much as the next person but no"

They continued back and forth until they had a list of about ten names and Olivia was falling asleep on Alex. Once Alex had managed to get Olivia into bed she curled up behind her and wrapped her arm around her waist. Alex was just drifting off to sleep when she felt a swift kick to the palm of her hand. "Whoa!" Alex quickly rose up and looked at Olivia "Was that?"

Olivia's eyes were wide and she placed her hand next to Alex's "I think it was" she pressed her hand down and felt another swift kick "Oh, okay that definitely was a kick"

Alex pulled the blanket back and lifted Olivia's shirt "Hey buddy I'm glad you decided to let us know you're okay in there, but do you think you can go easy on your Mommy?" she placed a kiss to Olivia's belly before sliding up and kissing Olivia soundly. "I love you so much"

"I love you too" Olivia said as she began running her hand up Alex's thigh.

Alex pulled back "Liv, baby are you sure?"

Olivia grinned "Oh yeah. We might have to get a little creative but I definitely want you"

Alex sat up and took her shirt off "I have no objections" she said as she lowered herself back down next to Olivia.

Alex walked into the precinct carrying the lunch that Olivia had left sitting on the kitchen table. Alex had to chuckle a little at the domestic side of herself that was coming out, while she was far from Susie Homemaker she did enjoy taking care of Olivia. After her first month or so back she had decided she needed something to do. While she wasn't ready to return to the DA's office she needed something to do. She had begun volunteering at a charity for victims of domestic violence and child abuse. The charity has attorneys who do pro bono work for the victims and Alex had been working behind the scenes; interviewing victims and doing legal research. It wasn't the same as prosecuting but she was enjoying the work and loved being able to help people again.

Alex looked around the fairly empty squad room, she knew they had caught a particularly gruesome case and had been working round the clock to catch their perp. She looked at the familiar board with crime scene photos and theories. She had to turn her head, it had been a long time since she had seen crime scene photos and it had made her a little ill to see them. She sat in Olivia's chair assuming she was in the bathroom she was going to wait for Olivia to come back. She looked up when she heard the captain enter the room "Hey Don"

"Alex what are you doing here?"

She smiled and held up the bag "Liv forgot her lunch and I figured I would drop it off on my way over to the foundation"

Cragen ducked his head for a moment "She's out right now if you'd like to leave it for her"

"What do you mean she's out?" Alex asked, confused. Olivia was on desk duty and it was still a little early for her to have gone out for lunch.

"We got a lead on Gitano, he's headed back to the bus terminal. They are setting up to try and capture him there"

Alex stood and cut him off before he could finish "Wait a minute you let her go into the field, to try and catch a pedophile and murderer? She's pregnant and on desk duty" Alex liked Don a lot and held a lot of respect for him, but she was about to lose her cool with him.

"Alex hold on a minute. I know I probably shouldn't have let her go but I did. She begged me to let her go so someone would be there with the children if they were able to catch him. She's going to stay out of the way, she'll be okay"

Alex took a deep breath "Don I like and respect you I really do, but you just let my pregnant girlfriend convince you to allow her to go into a potentially dangerous situation. If anything happens to her or our baby I will be holding you and the department personally responsible" Alex left the precinct and headed back to their apartment. On her way she called and informed one of the secretaries at the foundation that she wouldn't be in that day. She desperately wanted to believe that Olivia would be okay but she just couldn't shake the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Once she was in a cab she dialed Olivia's number and was disappointed when it went to voicemail, she sighed and left a message "Hey baby it's me. I just left the precinct. I know you're out in the field. I'm not mad at you, I'm just worried. Please call me back. I love you, and tell squirt I love him too" Alex smiled as she thought about the baby.

It had been a couple hours since she had left the message for Olivia and was becoming more worried with each passing minute. She decided to go back to the precinct in case Olivia had returned and hadn't had a chance to call her. When she stepped off the elevator Alex instantly knew something was wrong. She had just turned the corner to enter the squad room when she was intercepted by Fin.

"Alex she's okay"

Alex felt her knees go weak he had just confirmed her worst fear, something had happened to Olivia. "Where is she? Is she okay? The baby?" Alex asked as she pushed past him and ran into the squad room. She saw Olivia sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. "Liv, baby are you okay?" she gasped when Olivia looked up and she noticed the bandages on her neck.

"Alex, Alex I'm okay. It's not that bad" Olivia said as she pulled Alex in for a hug.

Alex took several deep breaths inhaling Olivia's scent as she rubbed her belly, she was relieved when she felt the baby kicking as she moved her hand. Alex pulled back and looked at Olivia's neck and gently reached her hand out to touch it. Olivia pulled Alex to and interview room. "So what happened?" Alex asked as she closed the door.

Olivia began recounting the events from that afternoon "Alex I know I shouldn't have gone but I couldn't help myself. All I could think about were those kids and I wanted to be there for them if we nailed Gitano. I'm so sorry for scaring you"

Alex threw her arms around Olivia "I'm not mad. Yes I was worried and yes I wish you hadn't gone but I'm not mad" she placed a gentle kiss on Olivia's lips "Just please promise me that you won't go into the field anymore until after the baby is born"

Olivia smiled "I promise"

Alex had decided to hang around for a little longer since Olivia would be going home shortly. She was just returning from the bathroom when she heard Elliot and Olivia shouting from the hallway.

"How could you let him get so close to you?" Elliot said.

"There were innocent civilians around. I couldn't get a shot" Olivia replied.

Alex walked out to the hallway to see what the problem was when she heard Elliot start again "Well, you got close, and now Ryan's dead"

"So this is my fault?" Olivia asked, shock evident in her voice.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't be looking over my shoulder making sure you're okay!" Elliot shouted.

It was all Alex could do to keep from running out and punching Elliot. Olivia was more than capable of doing her job, she didn't need a babysitter.

"You son of a bitch, you know that's not true!" Olivia shouted back.

"I need to know you can do your job and not wait for me to come to the rescue!"

With that comment Alex had heard enough, she didn't know how Olivia was keeping her cool especially considering how off the charts her hormones were. Alex was charging around the corner when the captain intervened, sending the detectives in separate directions. She walked over and took Olivia by the hand "Come on baby let's go home, there's nothing more you can do from here"

"Alex I can keep looking through files, I might find something. We have to find her before he does God knows what to her"

"I know, I know. How about you bring them home with you? That way you can at least put your feet up and rest while you're doing it" she ran her fingers through the detectives hair "I went to the store today and stocked up on Ben & Jerry's" at that Olivia smiled.

"Cherry Garcia?"

Alex laughed "Is there any other kind?" The only thing Olivia had craved more than Mexican was that particular flavor of ice cream. As they were about to step onto the elevators Alex saw Elliot head toward the men's room he shot her a glare as he did so. Her inner voice was screaming at her to get on that elevator but she just couldn't do it. She stepped back off the elevator and gave Olivia a small smile "Hey will you go ahead and get a cab I think I dropped my keys in the restroom a minute ago" she said as she pretended to dig through her purse.

"Sure I'll wait on you at the desk downstairs" Olivia said as she leaned back against the wall of the elevator.

Alex waited until the doors closed then turned and headed for the men's restroom. She stormed through the door not caring who was in there at the time. Aside from Elliot there were two other officers. After one look at her expression they quickly left knowing it would be the best for their own safety. "You bastard!" Alex yelled as she marched up to Elliot.

He stood at the sink and looked at her reflection in the mirror "You know this is the men's room, right?" he said in an arrogant tone.

"Like I give a damn" It may have been a while since she had needed the inner pit bull prosecutor, but it was quickly finding its way out. Elliot turned and stared at her, almost challenging her to continue. Alex smiled inwardly, if Elliot wanted to challenge her then she was more than up to it. "How dare you try and blame Olivia for that boy's death"

She was cut off when Elliot stepped closer to her "I stopped because her neck had been cut. What would you have liked me to do, run off after Gitano and leave her to possibly bleed out on the floor? Huh?"

Alex didn't want to admit that she was partly glad he did stop, she couldn't bring herself to imagine if the knife had cut a little deeper. "She told you she was okay, to go after them but you stalled. I'm not saying I'm not grateful you stopped because I am, but my problem is you trying to blame her. Don't you think she's already blaming herself?"

"She could've got a shot off"

"Listen to yourself. How many times have you not taken a shot because you were afraid of injuring a victim or a civilian? How many times have you not taken a shot and someone died? Did Olivia blame you? Did she say the only reason you can do your job is because she's watching you?" When he didn't reply right away Alex continued "That's what I thought" She turned to walk away when he continued.

"You know what, you think you're all high and mighty don't you?" Alex turned to face him and narrowed her eyes waiting for him to continue. "You just march back in here like nothing ever happened and just move yourself into Olivia's life. She was finally beginning to heal" Alex opened her mouth to speak but was cut off "I know you couldn't help you had to leave, but if you had just listened to her in the first place and dropped the case you wouldn't have had to leave at all"

Alex was sure her jaw had hit the floor, he was blaming everything on her "Damnit Elliot I was just trying to do my job! I regret every day the time I lost with her. That is why I refuse to take anything for granted now. I love her with all my heart and I'm not about to let her go a day without knowing it" She stepped closer and clutched her fingers around her purse. She knew if she didn't find something to do with her hands she would punch him for sure. "And what do you mean she was just starting to heal? I know she missed me as much as I missed her. Did you really want to see her lonely?"

"No I didn't want to see her lonely and I was supportive and happy for her when she told me she was going to have a baby. I was the one who was there for her after you left the first time and I was the one there when you left after the Connors trail. I told her I would be there for her through this pregnancy; the doctors' appointments, Lamaze, delivery and after she would get to go home. Instead you just swoop back in and take over like you own her"

Alex had heard enough "You arrogant prick! Olivia is mine but I certainly don't own her, we are in this relationship equally. She's mine and I am hers, everything I have is hers and she knows that. I would give up everything I have for her. See that's the thing you always wanted her for yourself"

"Hey I'm married and I love my wife and kids"

"I'm sure you do, but you have always tried to keep her to yourself as well. I remember how it was before we were dating. Every time she would try to go out with someone you always found a way to put them down or keep her at work. I know for a fact you had called her out when she was on dates" Elliot looked surprised "Oh don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Even before we dated we were friends and she would tell me about getting called out while on a date, and I know for a fact you did it at least once while we were dating" Elliot rolled his eyes even though it was true. "You wanted her to yourself. I know you would never leave your wife, but as long as Olivia was single you had her"

"That's not true" he countered.

If Alex had known Olivia was standing just inside the door, out of their sight, she wouldn't have said what she said next "Really? If that's the case then why did you ask me to break up with her when we had first started dating?" Elliot's silence spoke volumes "That's what I thought. Do you know how bad it hurt to have you tell me I wasn't good enough for her and that I should just end it because I was eventually going to hurt her. While I agreed that I didn't think I was good enough for her it hurt to hear someone else say it, but one things for sure I will never hurt her. Ever!" Alex took a deep breath and continued "You better realize how lucky you are that I never told her of that conversation. You hurt her enough as it is, she doesn't need to know about that as well" She took another step closer "I want you to listen and listen good because I'm only going to say this once. I love Olivia more than anything, and I love our baby. Yes I said our baby. I'm going to be the one there holding her hand during doctor's appointments, delivery and for the rest of our lives. She's with me Elliot; I'm the one she kisses good morning, I'm the one she kisses goodnight, and I'm the one she curls up next to in bed. Not you. The sooner you accept that the better off we'll all be. Now I'm going home to take care of my pregnant girlfriend" Alex was surprised when she turned to see a teary eyed Olivia step around the corner "Liv" Alex was terrified. She didn't know how much Olivia had heard and she was afraid she had upset her.

Olivia walked toward them. She stopped and squeezed Alex's hand, that gesture alone let Alex know Olivia wasn't upset with her. "Is all that true Elliot? Did you really ask her to break up with me?"

Elliot hung his head and was silent for a moment "Liv, I"

Those two words told Olivia everything she needed to know "You bastard. I can't believe you would want to ruin my happiness. At that point in my life Alex was the best thing to ever happen to me and I can't believe you would want to stop that, all because of your jealousy" Olivia turned to walk away and grabbed Alex's hand as she did so. Elliot attempted to say something to stop her but Olivia wouldn't hear it. "Just stop Elliot I have nothing more to say to you and I certainly don't want to hear what you might have to say"

They got onto the elevator while everyone else pretended not to have heard world war three in the men's room. "Liv, baby I am so sorry you had to hear that. I never wanted you to know about that conversation. You have to believe me" Alex pleaded.

Olivia leaned her head onto Alex's shoulder "I know, I know. As much as it hurt I'm glad I did, now I know how he really feels" she sighed as Alex pulled her close and placed a kiss on the top of her head "It also just made my decision a lot easier"

Alex pulled back "What decision?"

"I'm going to request a new partner"

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A/N: I know I ended this with a little bit of a cliff hanger but that's the way the episode ended, so I felt like it would work. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. I'm on vacation from work this week so I have a little more free time than usual. Let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks again for the reviews, I love them! This chapter is a little longer than usual I just couldn't find a good place to stop. This one is again a little fluffy with some humor as well. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

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Chapter 7

Alex stirred when she heard water running in the bathroom. She rolled over just in time to see Olivia climbing back in bed "You okay?"

Olivia sighed "Yeah he's just playing kickball with my bladder again. Sorry I woke you"

"It's okay" Alex sighed as she waited for Olivia to settle back down. She would never admit it but she was having the best night's sleep she'd had in a couple weeks. She had been having nightmares since Olivia had been injured; thankfully they had stopped a couple nights ago. It had been a couple weeks prior that Olivia had gotten her neck cut while trying to capture Gitano. While at the time she told Olivia she wasn't mad at her, and truly she wasn't at the time, but after the fear and worry as well as the anger with Elliot had worn off she did become angry. She had tried to hide it from Olivia but it eventually came out a few days earlier.

"_Alex what is your problem?" Olivia asked as they were cleaning up from dinner._

"_Nothing" Alex knew what was bothering her but she refused to tell Olivia. She also knew that Olivia could read her like a book and would eventually figure it out._

"_Is it Elliot? Did he call here again?"_

"_No" Elliot had been trying to call and talk to Olivia since she had requested a new partner and ended up transferring. _

"_Then what is it?" Olivia asked as she threw the dish towel down on the counter and turned to face Alex._

_Alex really didn't want to discuss what was bothering her tonight, especially since Olivia was in the mood she was in. Her mood swings were a daily occurrence; one minute she was happy and the next she was crying over a stupid commercial, and the next she would be so mad about something it would take Alex forever to talk her down. Alex knew this could only end badly. Alex took a deep breath and dove in "I'm just still upset about your accident"_

"_What accident?" Olivia asked and then remembered when Alex glanced at her neck. "Alex I'm fine. Nothing happened, why are you still upset?"_

"_Liv you could've died! In case you forgot you were stabbed in the neck"_

"_Alex I didn't intend for him to get that close it just happened"_

"_If you had just stayed out of the way like you said you would, he wouldn't have gotten to close" Alex said as she tried to keep her voice calm and her temper under control. So far they had only had petty arguments like every couple has but they had yet to have a fight, and Alex felt sure they were barreling head first toward one._

"_Oh so you're blaming me just like Elliot? Olivia said as she stormed toward the living room, Alex hot on her heels._

"_No I'm not you know I'd never blame you. It's just you volunteered to go so you could talk to the kids if you caught him, which while I don't agree with your decision I understand it"_

"_Alex we had to catch him. I had to stop him" she stopped when the look on Alex's face said she understood it all now._

"_You had no intention of staying back did you?" Olivia ducked her head. Alex put her hand over her mouth "Oh my God I don't believe you. Were you even thinking when you went out? Huh?" It was all she could do to control her voice._

"_Alex all I could do was think about those two kids, I had to stop him before he had the chance to do God only knows what to them!" Olivia was now pacing, the frustration radiating off her._

"_Olivia you have to realize that you have more to think about now than just the victims"_

"_What are you talking about Alex?"_

"_What about me Olivia? More importantly what about the baby? Did you give any consideration to us when you were chasing him down?" She noticed Olivia freeze for a second._

"_Oh my God Alex I can't believe you would use you or the baby against me!" Olivia said as she stepped closer to Alex._

_Alex held her breath when Olivia got close, she knew without a doubt Olivia would never hurt her but it did surprise her when she got so close "I'm not using myself or the baby against you I'm just saying you have more to think about now than just yourself. What if he had cut you worse and you lost a lot of blood, Liv you could have lost the baby. Not to mention you could've died. Do you know what that would've done to me if you had lost the baby, or if I had lost both of you?" Alex took a minute to wipe the tears from her eyes "If I were to lose you I don't know what I would do. I don't think I could go on with my life" Alex choked out a sob when she felt Olivia pull her into her arms "I know how it feels not having you in my life and I just don't think I could go through that again. All I'm saying is even if you don't think about me please think about the baby before you make a decision"_

"_Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. I'm just so used to not worrying about anyone but me but I promise I'll be more careful when I go back in the field" she pulled back so they could see each other "I promise"_

Since that day they had had several serious discussions about Olivia returning to the field after the birth and Alex's fears. They had also had several arguments on the subject but at the end of the day their love for each other had won out. Alex was so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear what Olivia was saying to her "I'm sorry, what?"

"Merry Christmas" Olivia said as she tried to snuggle closer to Alex.

"Merry Christmas baby" Alex said as she leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of Olivia's head. They lay in bed for a couple more hours simply enjoying their first Christmas as a couple. "You do realize this is going to be the first and only quite Christmas were going to have for a long time"

"What do you mean?"

"Well next year we'll have a baby who I'm sure will be waking us up at the crack of dawn wanting to be fed or changed, and then every Christmas after that he's going to wake us up to open his gifts"

Olivia chuckled "I never thought of it that way, but I can't wait"

"Me either" Alex said with a smile.

They finally got up about mid-morning and curled up on the couch to open their gifts. They had agreed on two gifts each. Alex picked up the gifts and sat them between them on the couch. She handed Olivia her first gift "Merry Christmas Liv"

Olivia tore the paper off the box and laughed when she looked inside "Not that I don't appreciate it Alex but I don't think this is going to fit" Olivia said as she held up a deep red negligee.

"It will after the baby's born" Alex leaned over and whispered in Olivia's ear "And once you're cleared to go back to our normal activities I can't wait to see you in it" she laughed as Olivia shivered.

"Right, well here's your present" Olivia said as she was trying to will her libido to calm down.

Alex raised her eyebrows "Victoria's Secret? Really Liv, were you spying on me while I was shopping?" Alex asked as she pulled a silky black teddy from the box.

"No I just happened to walk by the store and went in to look around and saw this and couldn't get the picture of you in it out of my mind" she said with a blush.

Alex grinned as she handed Olivia her next gift "Oh Alex I love it" Olivia said as she wiped a few tears from her eyes. It was a white picture frame with the word family written across the top in pale blue.

Alex grinned "I figured we could put our first family photo in it and maybe you could sit it on your desk at work, or we could leave it here. Whatever you want to do"

Olivia leaned over and kissed Alex then handed Alex her gift "I hope you like it"

"I know I'll love it" Alex quickly unwrapped the box and pulled out a photo album. It had a spot cut into the cover for a picture and had the word Love written across the top. Alex couldn't help the tears when she looked at the picture. It was taken in Central Park, two weeks before she was shot. "Oh Liv" was all Alex could manage through her tears.

Olivia leaned over and gently wiped the tears from her eyes "I've kept this picture beside my bed ever since you left. I know we're going to take tons of pictures of the little man here" she said as she rubbed her belly "I just wanted something to show how we started, where our family started"

They spent the rest of the day just lounging around. Alex made a small Christmas dinner for them and their dessert had come from Alex's Uncle Bill. They had spent a little time with him on Christmas Eve and his wife had insisted they take home samples of the desserts she had made. That night they had curled up on the couch with hot chocolate and the cookies Alex had made. They both found out that they shared a love of the movie It's a Wonderful Life and both watched it if they were home on Christmas. They decided this would be one of their traditions. "You know I'm like George Bailey in a way" Alex said.

Olivia turned and gave her and odd look "How?"

"When he told Mary he'd get her the moon. You know if you asked for it I would give you the moon. There's nothing in this world I wouldn't give you"

"Same here, I would give you anything you wanted"

Later that night when they had finally gone to bed Alex whispered in Olivia's ear "You're not working New Year's Eve and day are you?"

"No I don't think so. Why?"

"I was wondering if you would like to go to my Mom's house upstate for a couple days? I mean I need to see what all I want from there and what I'm going to get rid of before I sell the house. Plus a lot of my stuff from when I was a kid is there, and I would also like for you to see where I grew up"

Olivia smiled "I would love to see where you grew up"

"Good" Alex said as she settled down behind Olivia. She smiled to herself thinking about the surprise she had in store for Olivia.

"Oh wow, this is the house you grew up in?" Olivia asked as they pulled into the driveway of a picture perfect house.

Alex grinned "Yeah" she noted the slightly confused look on Olivia's face "You were expecting a mansion or something, weren't you?"

Olivia blushed "Maybe"

"Well my parents may have had money but they always made sure I knew that it was because of hard work. Granted my Mom inherited most of hers, but my Dad worked hard every day of his life. They taught me to be grateful for what I had and not to throw our name or influence around, unlike a lot of the people around here" she sighed "The majority of the kids around here spent summers in the Hamptons or Martha's Vineyard, and we did to, but they had a distorted view of things. They thought that because they had money the world was there for them to do whatever they wanted. I was taught that because we were fortunate enough to have money we owed something back. Since Mom didn't work she did a lot of volunteer work and I would tag along if I wasn't in school. That's one of the reasons I wanted to be a prosecutor, I mean I loved the law and listening to Uncle Bill talking about it, but I wanted to help people. I thought that by putting bad people away I would be helping so many others"

Olivia pulled Alex in for a hug "That's one of the many reasons I love you"

Once inside neither could believe how clean the house was considering Alex's Mom had been gone for so long "Have you been sneaking up here and cleaning while I'm at work?" Olivia said with a laugh.

"No…I have no idea why it's so clean" Alex said as she looked around. Olivia was looking at pictures of a young Alex when Alex reentered the room "This explains it" she said while holding up a note.

"Who?"

"I should've known, Uncle Bill and Sherry. He's been checking up on it every so often but when he heard me say we were coming up here, they came in and cleaned up"

"Wait, I know Bill but who is Sherry?" Olivia asked as she looked at the note the judge had left.

"Sherry is Bill's daughter. She lives just outside Boston; I'll have to introduce you sometime. She's the only cousin on Mom's side that I ever got along with"

After giving Olivia the grand tour they went to Alex's old bedroom. Alex knew Olivia had to be tired she had worked all day and then they drove up as soon as her shift was over. That way she could spend the next day going through her mother's things and then they would have New Year's Eve and New Year's Day together. Alex had plans for Olivia and she wanted to make sure everything went perfectly.

"So this is your old room?" Olivia asked as she looked around "I think it's about half the size of the apartment I grew up in" she turned and pulled Alex to her "So how many guys, or girls, did you sneak up here?" Olivia asked with a coy smile.

"None, but" Alex said as she slid her hands up under Olivia's shirt "I always had this fantasy of sneaking my girlfriend in here for a little fun" Alex whispered as she kissed the spot behind Olivia's ear.

"Oh really?" Olivia said with a smirk, sliding her hands down low on Alex's hips. Alex nodded as she continued to kiss her way down Olivia's neck, causing Olivia to shiver. "I think I can help with that little fantasy but I plan on us having a lot of fun" she said as she began walking backwards toward the bed pulling Alex with her.

"Oh my God Alex you were so cute!" Olivia practically squealed as she held the picture album up for Alex to see.

Alex left the box she was sorting through and walked over to where Olivia was sitting. She looked at the picture and rolled her eyes "I was missing my two front teeth Liv. How in the world is that cute?"

"Oh shut up you were and still are adorable" Olivia said as she leaned over and kissed Alex on the cheek.

By that evening they had successfully sorted through a large portion of Mrs. Cabot's belongings. Alex already had a large stack of boxes waiting to be picked up for donation to charity. She also had a few boxes set aside to take back home with her. "Liv are you sure it's okay for me to bring this stuff back?"

"Of course it is. I mean I know my apartment isn't the biggest one in Manhattan but its okay. Besides it's your home to and I want you to have your things there too. I know I don't have as many pictures from my childhood as you do, but I want yours sitting alongside mine and our son's once he's born"

After a day of cleaning and sorting they were about to head out for dinner. Alex wanted to take Olivia to one of her favorite restaurants in town. It was owned by a family friend and Alex couldn't wait to introduce Olivia and tell them about her son. They were about to head out when there was a knock at the door. They gave each other a confused look before Alex walked over and peeked through a window before opening the door. It was a habit left over from her time in the program, among others, she silently wondered if she would ever break them. Once Alex saw who was on the other side of the door she smiled and quickly opened the door. "Hi!" Alex squealed as she pulled the older woman into the house and threw her arms around her.

Olivia stood to the side confused as to who the woman was. She must have been important since Alex rarely acted that way with anyone but her. She stood quietly until Alex released her hold on the older woman and reached her hand out for Olivia's.

"Olivia this is Karen Wilson, she was one of Mom's best friends" Alex said as she pulled Olivia closer to her. "And Karen this is Olivia Benson" Alex looked into Olivia's eyes and smiled "My girlfriend"

"It's nice to meet you" Olivia said as she extended her hand.

"Nice to meet you as well" she looked at Olivia's pregnant belly and looked back up surprised for a moment. "So did you two meet while you were away?"

Alex had noticed Karen looking at Olivia's belly but she knew the older woman had enough manners not to say anything. "No we were dating when I had to go away, and when I came home Olivia was the first person I went to see" she sighed and squeezed Olivia's hand "I know what you're wondering but Olivia had decided to have a baby before I came back, but we both wanted children and I can't wait to have a family with her"

Karen smiled "Oh Alex dear, I couldn't be happier for you. Both of you" she said as she looked at Olivia.

After visiting for a little longer and Karen giving Alex the soup she had made for her once she realized it was the attorney who was staying in the house, Alex and Olivia made their way to dinner. They were happy Karen had brought them something they decided that would be their dinner the next evening.

Dinner had been wonderful and Alex had loved showing off her girlfriend and telling everyone about the baby they were expecting. She even promised that sometime after he was born she and Olivia would return so they could see him. They were just walking onto the porch when Alex heard her name called. She turned to see a woman who was about the same age as her. She stepped closer to Olivia when she couldn't make out who the woman was, until she stepped closer. "Claire?" Alex said when she recognized the girl she had grown up with.

"Of course it's me" she said as she walked up onto the porch.

Alex sighed and squeezed the bridge of her nose. Of all the people she had ran into why did she have to see Claire? Alex never really liked the girl but she tolerated her. "What do you want Claire?" it was cold and they were tired. Alex only wanted to get inside and curl up in bed with Olivia.

"Well I had to see if it was true for myself" she looked between Alex and Olivia and then to Olivia's belly that wasn't hidden very well by her coat. "Oh my God it's true! You're dating a woman!" Claire exclaimed.

Alex rolled her eyes "Yes I am, and not only are we dating we're expecting a baby together. Is that a problem?"

"Alex, what is wrong with you? You could have any man out there, why choose her?" she continued before Alex had a chance to speak "Look I know you dated a few women in college and I heard you did occasionally after you moved to the city, but you dated men also. Why not choose one of them? Alex you are old money, you could have your pick of any man out there. You should pick someone from our circle, you know old money also. Why just settle for her, besides she's probably only after your money anyway"

Alex stepped to within inches of Claire "Let's get one thing straight. I love her and she loves me, she doesn't care that I have money. We're not in a relationship for what it can do for our standing in society. We are together because we love each other, and we are having a baby because we want a family together. So you need to worry about yourself and leave us alone"

Alex turned and took a stunned Olivia by the hand and began walking in the house. "You remember that Alex when down the road she tries to take you for everything you have" Claire said as she began to walk back down the steps.

Alex whirled around and chased after the woman "She would never do that. Unlike these people we grew up with. Think about it, how many divorces have we heard about where one tries to take the others money? Where they have to sign a pre nup before the wedding? I don't have to worry about that with Olivia, she loves me for me and I love her for who she is. So you need to go and I better never hear you say a bad word about her again. If I do so help me God I will hunt you down" Alex felt Olivia pulling her back into the house but she had one final promise for the other woman "Hey Claire, you remember the playground at the country club?" Claire turned and glared at Alex "That's what I thought. I kicked your ass once and I'll do it again. Just say one word about us again, and that's not a threat but a promise" Alex shouted as Olivia finally managed to get her inside.

Alex lay in bed still trying to calm herself from earlier. She had thought Olivia had fallen asleep already but was surprised when she heard the detective chuckling. She shifted so she could see Olivia better "What are you laughing at?"

"You"

"Why?"

"I wasn't aware I was dating a scrapper" Olivia said as she began laughing harder "Who would've thought that put together Alex Cabot was a playground fighter" Alex rolled her eyes before lying back down. "I gotta know Alex, why did you 'kick her ass' as you put it?"

Alex threw her arm over her head "We were at the club and one of the members had brought a few relatives from out of town with them. Claire started making fun of the kids because they didn't have as much money as the rest of us. I had been playing with them and thought they were really nice so I told her to leave them alone. When she didn't I told her to stop or else. She got in my face and shoved me and asked what I was going to do about it. Liv I swear I don't know what came over me but I shoved her down and started wailing on her. Next thing I know my Dad is pulling me off of her"

Olivia was laughing so hard she had to hold her side "Oh my God that's hysterical! I would give up my pension to have been able to see that" she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, well just remember that you're dating a scrapper detective" Alex said as she placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek.

The next day Alex threw herself head first into sorting more of her mother's things. Olivia kept asking her why she was staying so busy but her only reply was she wanted them to have the evening free since it was to be their first new year's eve together. Little did Olivia know Alex was working off the nervous energy she had over the surprise she had for Olivia.

Late that night they sat curled up on the couch in front of the fire with cups of hot chocolate. "I never thought we'd be ringing in the new year with hot chocolate and not champagne" Olivia said as she took another sip of her drink.

"Well in case you forgot champagne isn't good for squirt" Alex said while rubbing Olivia's belly. "Besides the way he's moving I think he likes it" Alex loved rubbing Olivia's belly, especially now that the baby was moving like he was. Sometimes it felt like he was following the movement of her hand across her belly. She especially loved talking to Olivia's belly, sometimes when the baby was really active at night she would talk to her belly and the baby would calm down. They both hoped Alex's voice would still work after the birth when the baby might be crying or upset.

Alex had noticed it was getting closer to midnight when she turned the cd on that she had put in the stereo earlier in the evening. The song that was playing was In this Life "I love this song, it reminds me of us" Olivia said as she closed her eyes and laid her head on Alex's shoulder.

"Dance with me" Alex said as she stood and held her hand out. When Olivia stood she pulled her as close to her as possible considering the size of her belly. "I love you" Alex whispered as they swayed to the music.

"I love you too" Olivia leaned in and kissed Alex "I'm so happy you came back to me. I never knew I could be so happy"

"Me either. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't been able to return. You and squirt" she smiled as she ran her hand over Olivia's belly "you are my life now" Alex grinned when she heard the fireworks being set off at the country club, signaling it was midnight. She leaned in and kissed Olivia with all the love and passion she felt for the other woman, she smiled when she pulled back "Happy New Year baby"

"Happy New Year" Olivia said as she leaned in for another kiss. "I love you" she said as she pulled away.

"I love you too" Alex said as she pushed Olivia back to the couch and stood in front of her girlfriend.

Olivia smirked "You gonna strip for me?"

Alex snickered "Not right now, maybe later?" Olivia nodded. Alex ran her hands along her thighs trying to dry them since they had become clammy. She walked over to where her coat was lying across the chair and reached in the pocket. She walked back over and stood in front of Olivia.

"Alex?" Olivia asked while giving Alex a curious look.

Alex slowly got down on one knee and took Olivia's hand. Olivia gasped "Oh my God"

Alex had hoped she could keep the tears at bay until she was finished but quickly realized that wasn't going to happen "Olivia I love you so much. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. To be honest I think I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you" Alex took a second to wipe her eyes before continuing "My time away from you only served to show me just how much I love you. I also learned that I want to spend my life with you, I never want to have to be without you" she reached up and wiped the tears from Olivia's eyes. She took a deep breath and opened the ring box. If Olivia was crying before Alex could only describe what she was doing now as sobbing. Alex couldn't help the tremor in her voice "Olivia will you marry me?"

Olivia barely gave Alex time to finish her question before answering "Yes Alex, yes I'll marry you"

"Yes?" she asked, barely able to contain the smile on her face.

"Yes" Olivia said while nodding her head.

Alex laughed as she pulled the ring from the box and tossed the box back over her shoulder causing Olivia to laugh as well. She took Olivia's shaking hand in her own trembling hand and slid the ring on her left ring finger. Once the ring was on Alex kissed Olivia's left hand before rising up and kissing her passionately. She stood up and pulled Olivia up with her before pulling her into a hug.

"God I love you" Olivia whispered. She pulled back and looked at her ring again. It was a two carat, white gold, princess cut diamond ring. "Oh Alex it's beautiful, I love it" she said as she ran her fingers over the ring.

"I'm glad you love it, but it's nowhere near as beautiful as you"

Olivia looked up suddenly "Wait I need to get you a ring. You have to have one too"

Alex grinned and reached in her pocket. When she pulled her hand out she was holding up a ring that was identical to Olivia's. "It's already taken care of" Olivia looked surprised "I couldn't have you walking around the city and everyone knowing you were taken but no one knew I was. Besides I knew you would insist on me having one, and yes I wanted one, so I decided to get us matching engagement rings"

"I could've gotten you a ring"

"I know. How about I make you a deal?" Olivia nodded "Since I picked out the engagement rings, how about you pick out the wedding rings?"

"You've got yourself a deal counselor. Can I do the honors?" Alex nodded and held out her left hand as Olivia took the ring from Alex. She gently slid the ring on Alex's finger "I love you" Olivia said as she leaned in for a kiss. When she pulled back she smiled and then squealed "We're getting married!"

Alex threw her head back and laughed "I love the fact that 'Badass Benson' squeals"

In the early morning hours as they lay wrapped around each other Alex smiled as she watched Olivia sleep. Their activities had thoroughly worn out Olivia but Alex was still so happy she wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep. She looked down at the sleeping woman in her arms and thought about how happy she was. She now had a fiancé whom she loved more than life itself and who loved her just as much, and on top of that she had a son on the way. Alex closed her eyes feeling sleep finally begin to overtake her. She was truly happy with her life and she knew it was only going to get better.


	8. Chapter 8

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 8

It was a beautiful spring morning in Boston, and unseasonably warm for March. Alex smiled as she stood on the balcony and overlooked the garden of her grandparent's estate, the garden where she would soon be marrying the love of her life. She couldn't believe the course her life had taken in the last five months. She had gone from being in witness protection unsure if she would ever get to be herself again, to standing here a baby on the way and about to marry Olivia. If someone had told her two years ago that this would be her life she wouldn't have believed them, hell if they had told her this six months ago she wouldn't have believed it. Alex had never been a particularly religious person but she thanked God every morning for allowing her to come back, and more importantly giving her Olivia. Alex was pulled from her thoughts when she heard the door open.

"I can't believe it, little Alex is getting married" her cousin Sherry said as she entered the room with Casey and Amy in tow.

"Yeah, yeah" Alex replied with a roll of her eyes. Sherry was the only cousin on her mother's side that was like Alex. She didn't throw around their name and didn't believe that just because she had money she was better than everyone else.

"So are you ready?" Casey asked. Alex knew how Casey and Olivia's professional relationship started out but she was grateful that the two had become friends and Alex was more than happy to have her at the wedding.

"I've never been more ready for anything in my life" she turned and faced her friends "How's Olivia?" Alex couldn't shake the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that Olivia would change her mind at the last minute.

"Stop your worrying, she's as excited as you are" Amy said with a smile, as they all walked down the stairs to the dining room.

Sherry opened the French doors that opened out into the backyard and garden. "Okay Alex we'll start shortly. Dad will be in to walk you out" she gave Alex a quick hug before she and the other two women went out to take their seats.

Alex looked out at the small gathering. They decided to invite only a few people; since Alex's parents were gone the only relatives that she truly cared for were her uncle Bill, his wife Gail, Sherry and her husband and children. She had also invited her aunt Mary who had kindly allowed them to use her summer home on Martha's Vineyard for their honeymoon. She told Olivia to invite whomever she wanted, but Olivia had pointed out that she had no family other than the guys. They had invited Casey and Olivia had asked Cragen to walk her down the aisle.

When it came to Elliot, Alex was willing to extend him an invitation but he declined. Since he and Kathy had separated he had his kids on the weekends and he wanted to spend the time with them. As much as Alex still didn't care for Elliot, and she was sure the feeling was mutual, she was glad that he had apologized and he and Olivia talked through their problems. While they still weren't back to where they were Alex felt sure they would eventually be okay. Olivia had also decided to transfer back to SVU. While Alex was happy for her, SVU was where Olivia was meant to be, she was worried. She worried about after the baby was born and Olivia went back into the field. Alex jumped when she felt a hand on her arm.

"Alex dear, are you ready?" Bill asked.

Alex smiled bright enough to light up the room "Never been more ready in my life"

"Well I must say you look lovely and I only wish your parents were here to see you" he said as he gave her a light hug.

Alex grabbed a tissue from the side table and dabbed at her eyes "I know me too. I would've loved for Dad to have been able to meet Olivia. Mom met her once I just wish she could've been here today"

Bill smiled "They're hear angel, and just so you know your mother knew this would happen"

Alex gave him a confused look "What?"

"After you left us" he took a deep breath "She told me that it broke her heart to see Olivia at the funeral. It was obvious she was in love with you. I remember your mother saying that she was convinced that had that not happened you two would have been together forever"

"Well it looks like we're about to prove her right" Alex said as she dried her eyes. She stepped over to take one last look in the mirror. She ran her hands over her dress smoothing it one last time. While she and Olivia had kept their dresses a secret she they had decided to go with a less than traditional dress; since as Olivia had put it, it was going to be a less than traditional wedding. Alex had chosen a white sleeveless knee length dress, and she wore her hair down the way Olivia liked it. At Olivia's request she was also wearing her glasses. She heard the music starting and smiled when Bill took her arm. As she walked the short distance across the yard she struggled to hold her tears back. She double checked to make sure she had the extra tissues because she knew when she saw Olivia the flood gates would open. Once she was standing next to the judge they had asked to do the ceremony Alex turned to face the house and wait for Olivia.

When Olivia stepped through the door on Captain Cragen's arm Alex was certain her heart had stopped. As many times as she had thought Olivia could never be more beautiful, she knew that Olivia had never looked as beautiful as she did in that moment. She had chosen a silky off white floor length gown, with a bit of baby's breath in her hair. Olivia was smiling while struggling to wipe the tears from her eyes. Once they made it to the end of the aisle Cragen gave her a hug as well as Alex and then took his seat. Alex couldn't help herself and reached up and wiped a few stray tears from Olivia's cheek. Olivia chuckled causing Alex to grin from ear to ear. They zoned out, staring into each other's eyes, once the judge began speaking. They had opted for a simple ceremony with traditional vows. Alex felt her voice begin to shake as she recited her vows "I, Alex, take you, Olivia to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live" and then slipped the ring on Olivia's finger. By the time Alex had finished she could barely see for the tears.

The judge turned to Olivia; she took a deep breath and began "I, Olivia, take you, Alex to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of our family and friends I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live" Olivia quickly wiped her tears before then placing Alex's ring on her finger.

Once the vows were complete Sherry, Casey and Amy stood. Alex and Olivia had each picked out a little verse to be recited that reminded them of their relationship, neither was aware of what the other had picked. They also chose one together. Sherry was to recite Alex's choice, Casey was reciting Olivia's and Amy would recite the one they chose together.

"But true love is a durable fire, in the mind ever burning. Never sick, never old, never dead. From itself never turning" Sherry said.

Casey was next "For it was not into my ear you whispered But into my heart Twas not my lips you kissed But my soul"

Amy smiled at the couple and began "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope"

By the time they had finished there wasn't a dry eye to be seen, especially from Alex and Olivia.

"By the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts I know pronounce you married" the judge said with a smile. "You may now kiss your bride"

Alex couldn't help but grin; Olivia was giving her the smile that she knew was reserved only for her. She took a half a step and pulled Olivia as close as possible "I love you" she whispered. She barely heard the sentiment echoed back before she gently pressed her lips to Olivia's, both smiling into the kiss. Alex deepened the kiss when she felt Olivia's fingers tangle in her hair. She wasn't sure how much time had passed but she pulled away when she felt the need for air. When they parted both began laughing when they heard the cheers and whistles from their friends and family.

As they turned the judge spoke up "Ladies and gentlemen; Alex and Olivia" the small group erupted into another loud cheer. They walked over and were greeted by their family and friends.

Later as they sat around the table sharing a catered lunch, a gift from Bill and his wife, Alex leaned over and rubbed Olivia's belly "So is squirt happy his Mommies are married now?"

Olivia laughed "I think he is. Do you know he was calm and not moving at all while we said our vows but as soon as he pronounced us married he started kicking up a storm. It was like he knew"

Alex laughed "I'm sure he did"

After lunch and opening a few gifts their guests had brought Sherry had insisted that it just wouldn't be right for them to leave without being able to have their first dance as a married couple. While both ladies laughed and said it wasn't necessary their guests insisted otherwise. Besides as Casey had pointed out they had been playing music all through lunch. They finally relented but Olivia insisted that she be allowed to choose the song. Since no one had it on cd Sherry called a local radio station and requested it be played. She even asked that the dj dedicate it Alex and Olivia.

Alex began crying all over again when In this Life came on the radio, she smiled, Olivia had chosen the same song Alex had played the night she proposed. They swayed to the music and cried tears of joy that they had finally found their way to each other.

An hour, and many hugs, later they were on the road to Martha's Vineyard and their honeymoon. When they pulled into the driveway of the home Olivia couldn't hide her surprise "You call this a summer home? I think it qualifies as a summer mansion!"

"It belonged to my grandparents and my aunt inherited it when they died. She never had kids of her own and she said Sherry and I are the only two out of all her nieces and nephews she likes, so we're free to use it anytime we want" Alex got their bags from the car and they walked inside. "Just let me put these bags down and I'll give you the grand tour" They were also happy to see Alex's aunt had come up and stocked the kitchen with necessities but Alex knew a trip to the store would be in order before the week was over. She just hoped that Olivia wouldn't have any strange cravings in the middle of the night since none of the stores would be open at that hour.

For dinner Alex treated Olivia at one of the finest restaurants in town. As they made their way back to the house they were barely able to keep their hands off of one another. They both giggled as they finally made it through the door and up the stairs. "Liv, baby are you sure?" Alex asked as she felt Olivia undoing the button on her pants.

Olivia grinned "It's our wedding night Alex I think it's required"

Alex stilled Olivia's hand and placed her free hand on Olivia's cheek "Olivia don't ever think that you have to do anything with me. It's only if you want to" Alex knew Olivia was tired, especially since she had entered her third trimester.

Olivia placed a quick kiss on Alex's lips "Alex I'm not doing this because I feel like I have to, I want to. God I don't think there's ever a moment I don't want you"

"Okay" Alex said as she ran her thumb across Olivia's cheek "But I have a surprise for you" Olivia raised her eyebrows "Go ahead and get in bed and get comfy. I'll be right back" Alex gave her another quick kiss and ducked into the bathroom.

A few minutes had passed when Olivia called out "Did you get lost in there?"

"No I'll be right out" Alex opened the bathroom door; she laughed when she heard the sharp intake of breath from Olivia. Alex was wearing the ocean blue silk teddy she had purchased for their honeymoon.

"Oh dear God, you're gonna kill me Alex" Olivia said as she closed her eyes and groaned.

"Oh I'm not going to kill you, but I do plan on having my way with you detective" Alex said as she climbed into bed.

Hours later they lay wrapped around each other, as best they could considering the size of Olivia's belly, thoroughly exhausted from the previous day as well as their late night activities. "I love you" Alex whispered.

"Hmm I love you too" Olivia replied. Suddenly Olivia sat up.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked in a bit of a panic.

"I forgot to give you your wedding present" Olivia said as she rolled herself out of bed.

"Well I don't know what you got me but I would be more than happy to consider that thing you did with your tongue earlier my wedding gift" Alex said while waggling her eyebrows.

Olivia blushed "Well thank you, but I got you an actual gift" Olivia handed Alex a plain envelope and urged her to open it.

Alex sat up and opened the envelope. She took a moment to read over the contents suddenly she looked up with a shocked look on her face "Oh my God!"

Olivia smiled and scooted closer to Alex "I know we discussed it a little and you were fine with however I wanted to do it, but this is what I wanted"

Alex smiled with tears in her eyes "You changed your last name to Cabot?"

"Yeah"

"When?" Alex still had a look of pure shock on her face.

"Remember when I said I had to go to One PP to sign some papers related to my transfer?" Alex nodded. "Well I lied. Instead I went to the courthouse and had my name legally changed"

"Why? Not that I'm not happy, I'm thrilled, but you didn't have to change your name"

Olivia sighed "We're a family" she placed Alex's hand on her belly "All three of us. I wanted us to all have the same name. I didn't want the little man here to just have my last name or just your last name or even a hyphenated version. I want us all to have the same name. Besides I want the whole world to know that I am Alex Cabot's wife"

They lay back down and snuggled up again "Today we started our family history" Alex whispered.

Olivia looked into Alex's eyes "Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always"

"Yes it is" Alex said as Olivia snuggled closer to her "Yes it is"

**A/N: The quotes used in the wedding and Olivia's final quote here at the end are attributed to the following. Wedding quotes in order: Sir Walter Raleigh, Judy Garland, and Maya Angelou. Olivia's quote: Dante. The Dante quote has also been quoted as "Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of forever" but I liked this version better. Thanks for reading and let me know what you're thinking!**


	9. Chapter 9

Once again thank you for the reviews, I am so glad you're enjoying this story. I don't really think this chapter is as good as it could've been, I just couldn't get some of it to come out the way I wanted. When it comes to the legal issues at the end, I don't know the law so I just went with what I've seen on tv. So please excuse my ignorance on the issue. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and as always I love hearing what you think.

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Chapter 9

"Olivia, baby I'm sorry. Will you please let me in?"

"Why would you want to come in?" Olivia called out from the other side of the bedroom door.

Alex sighed and leaned back against the door while running her hands over her face "I want to come in because I love you and I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said" She was met with silence "Olivia you know how stubborn I am. If you don't let me in I'm going to sit right here in the floor" Alex bit her tongue when she caught herself getting ready to say that Olivia would have to come out to eat sometime. She thought back to how happy they were just a short time ago; Alex wished she had just kept her mouth shut.

_Olivia sat on the couch and Alex walked over to sit down beside her "Is there anything you want?" Alex asked._

_Olivia gave Alex a smile that lit up her entire face "I want to watch this dvd the doctor made for us" Instead of the standard ultrasound picture, this visit the doctor made them a dvd of the ultrasound._

_Alex got up and put it in the player and then curled back up on the couch with Olivia's head in her lap. They laughed and cried as they watched the video. "Look he's sucking his thumb!" Olivia exclaimed as she pointed at the tv._

_Everything was going great until Alex opened her mouth "Maybe we should've had her check and make sure there isn't two in there" Alex said as she rubbed Olivia's belly._

_Olivia turned her head so she was looking at Alex "What?"_

"_Well I mean as big as your belly is it's a wonder there's only one baby in there. If he is by himself he's gonna be huge" Alex looked down and saw tears in Olivia's eyes. "What's wrong?"_

_Olivia struggled to get herself up off the couch "I'm glad you finally confirmed what I already knew" Alex gave her a puzzled look "I'm fat, I'm big as a house. It's a wonder you want to stay with me at all" Olivia said as stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door._

That exchange had led them to where they were now, Olivia in the bedroom and Alex sitting in the floor. "Liv baby please, I really am sorry. Please let me come in"

"Fine" Olivia huffed "You can come in"

Alex opened the bedroom door and her heart broke when she saw her wife. Olivia was curled up on the bed her eyes red from crying. Alex walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed "Oh baby I am so sorry, please believe me" she said as she pressed a kiss to Olivia's cheek.

"I know you're sorry and I know you didn't mean it" Olivia said as she wiped the few stray tears from her face. "It's just stupid I don't even know why I started crying. I mean I make jokes about the size of my belly all the time I don't know why it upset me when you did"

"Well I shouldn't have said it"

Olivia let out a small laugh "In all honesty I thought it was kinda funny myself. It's just these damn hormones, I can't control them. Alex I love you and I know you would never say anything to intentionally hurt me"

Alex pushed Olivia's shirt up and leaned down and began pressing light kisses all over her belly.

"What are you doing?" Olivia breathed out.

"I'm showing you exactly how beautiful I think you are" Alex said as she continued placing kisses over her belly.

"Alex I really want to but you do realize that I can't do too much, you're gonna have to do most of the work" Olivia panted out.

"I am more than okay with that" Alex said as she sat up and removed her own shirt before leaning down and kissing her wife.

It was a warm Saturday afternoon as Alex and Olivia walked down the sidewalk to Uncle Bill's brownstone. "Did Bill say why he wanted us to come over?" Olivia asked.

"No he just said that Gail wanted us to come over for lunch since she hadn't seen us since the wedding. He also said that Sherry and her kids were coming down for the weekend" Alex said as she gently rubbed Olivia's low back as they walked. The baby was due in just a little over a month and Alex was doing everything she could to try and make Olivia comfortable. Alex wasn't too happy that Olivia was walking but Olivia had asked the cab driver to pull over and let them out a block from the judge's house. She was beginning to cramp up and needed to walk. Alex supported Olivia as they walked up the steps to the door. They were greeted by the judge's wife Gail.

"Hello darlings, how are you feeling Olivia?" Gail asked as she hugged the two women and pulled them into the entryway.

"Not too bad today" Olivia replied. "If he'd just quit kicking my ribs I'd be even better" she said causing all three ladies to laugh.

"Well come on and have a seat in the living room and we can catch up" Gail said as she led the two women to the other room.

Alex and Olivia both jumped, when they entered the living room a gathering of their friends called out 'surprise'. Alex looked at Olivia, who had tears in her eyes, and smiled "Well I guess we know why she invited us over"

Their shower had been planned by Gail and Sherry but they had invited several of the ladies friends as well. Amy as well as Casey and a few of Alex's old coworkers from the DA's office were there along with Melinda and a couple other officers that Casey knew Olivia was friends with. They had also invited the guys but since baby showers weren't really their thing they promised to stop by for a little bit. They spent the afternoon eating, laughing and opening gifts. Alex couldn't believe the amount of gifts they had received. While she and Olivia had been shopping and picked up a few things, Alex knew they were still far short of the amount of necessities they needed. They had already picked out a crib, Fin and Cragen had been kind enough to come over and help assemble it along with the changing table.

By the time they were finished opening all their gifts they had a stroller/car seat combo courtesy of Casey. The guys, knowing Alex and Olivia's love of jogging, went together and purchased a top of the line jogging stroller. Sherry purchased a bassinet along with a few small items. Gail and Bill gave them a swing and several small items; they also made a generous donation to the baby's college fund. Melinda gifted the couple with a diaper bag filled to the top with many every day necessities. By the time they arrived back home with all their gifts, thanks to Sherry's SUV, they had a large pile of diapers, onsies, bottles, pacifiers and toys. Olivia was also convinced that between what they had purchased and the ones they received at their shower their son had more clothes than they did. Alex's favorite item was a shirt that said 'Don't mess with my Mommies' and had a gavel and handcuffs. Olivia's favorite was a NYPD onesie.

That night while they sat in bed together Alex pulled out a box that Bill had given her, along with strict instructions that she wasn't to open it until she was back home. She stared nervously at the box "I wonder what it is?" she asked looking at Olivia.

"There's only one way to find out" Olivia said as she slid closer to her wife. Alex slowly opened the box then covered her hand with her mouth as she gasped and then began crying. Olivia slid her arm around Alex's shoulder "Sweetie what is it, what's wrong?"

Alex pulled out the envelope that was lying on top and held it up "It's my Mom's handwriting" She was shaking, where did this come from. Her mother had died while under the impression that Alex was dead.

Olivia looked as shocked as Alex "Your Mom's? I don't understand"

"Me either"

"Maybe you should open it" Olivia whispered.

"I don't know if I can" Alex replied. She then handed the envelope to Olivia "You open it"

Olivia sighed "Alex I can't it has your name on it. Besides its obviously important I think you should be the one to open it"

Alex took the letter from the envelope and then looked to Olivia for encouragement. She smiled when Olivia took one of her shaking hands in her own. Alex took a deep breath and began to read. She had barely made it past the first line when she was overcome with tears.

_My dearest Alexandra,_

_If you are reading this letter then it is a happy occasion, you are about to become a mother. I know you're wondering why I'm writing this considering I've already given you one letter, but this one is different. As you know the first one I gave you when you graduated from Harvard was written the day you were born. You are still as precious to me now as you were then, if not more so. _

_I wanted to write this because I feel like you are becoming settled. You have a wonderful job and you are doing very important work. I couldn't be more proud of you. I have never been one to push you to settle down and have children, but something inside me says that you may be getting close to finding that someone and I wanted to write this. I know you have dated men and women and as you know it doesn't matter to me in the least. All I want is for you to be happy and loved that is the most important thing._

_As I said you have either become a mother or you are about to. I want you to know being a mother will be the single most important, and rewarding, thing you will do with your life. I know it was for me. It will be hard, and don't be surprised when you child outsmarts you on occasion. If they are anything like you were you will definitely have your hands full, not that I would've traded one second of my time with you. As much as you love your spouse, whether it be a man or a woman, when you look at your child for the first time you will be overwhelmed with the love you feel for him or her. I know I was. _

_In closing just remember to cherish every moment you have with your child. They are truly a gift from God. You have always, and will always, be the light of my life Alex._

_Love, _

_Mom_

_P.S. I really like Olivia. I know you two haven't been dating long but if you don't mind me saying I think she's the one. She's a keeper Alex, hold on tight. By the way if for some reason I'm wrong and you are not with Olivia when you read this, hide it! I love you._

When she was done reading both Alex and Olivia, who had been reading along over Alex's shoulder, were crying like they hadn't in a long time. "She knew" Alex whispered as she turned to face Olivia "She met you once and knew we would end up together, how?"

Olivia finished wiping her tears and began wiping Alex's "I don't know baby I guess she saw something in us. I know that I knew that early"

Alex grinned "So did I, I was just afraid to say anything" she looked back down at the letter "Liv look at the date it was written a week before I was shot"

"Which was right after I met her, remember?" Alex nodded. Olivia looked at the end of the letter and laughed "At least she had a sense of humor, she told you to hide the letter in case it wasn't me you were having a baby with"

Alex chuckled "She was very proper and put together but she did have a wicked sense of humor"

"So what else is in there?" Olivia asked as she looked toward the box.

Alex reached in and pulled out a string of pearls "It's my grandmother's pearls. She gave them to my Mom when I was born. I always liked them and she said they would be mine one day" Alex began to tear up again. She didn't know why this stuff was packed up the way it was, it was almost as if her mother knew she may not be around when Alex did have her own family. She reached back in and pulled out a diamond pendant necklace, she smiled "It's the necklace my Dad gave her the day they married" Alex turned to Olivia "I want you to have it"

"Alex I can't it was your mothers"

"Liv she's already established she liked you, I know she would've wanted you to have it" Alex took the necklace and put it on Olivia.

"Thank you" Olivia said leaning over and kissing Alex.

Alex reached back in; the only other item was another envelope at the bottom. The outside had another note written in her mother's elegant handwriting.

_Alex, _

_This is for my grandchild's college education. I have been setting aside money since you graduated from college. I wanted to make sure you would never have to worry about paying for college. All of the account information is inside this envelope. _

_Love,_

_Mom_

Alex sat stunned she couldn't believe her mother had done all of this. "I'm calling Uncle Bill this doesn't make sense"

"Sweetie he's probably asleep" Olivia said.

"He might be but Gail will be up, she's never been in bed before eleven" Alex grabbed her phone and dialed her aunt. "Gail, its Alex. No Olivia's fine" she smiled at Olivia. "Listen Bill gave me a box and told me not to open it till we were home. I just did, do you know anything about it?" Alex sat and listened intently as her aunt told her what she knew. By the time she was done she was crying "Okay, thank you. Have a good night"

"Well?" Olivia asked.

"Apparently she had this set aside waiting for the day that I would have my own family. When I" Alex stopped and took a deep breath "When I died she gave the box to Gail. She said that she just couldn't bring herself to open it. She asked Gail to take it to her house because she couldn't even stand to have it in the house it reminded her of how much she lost. She instructed Gail to not do anything with it until after she died, after that Gail could do whatever she wanted with the contents. She said she had forgotten about it until I came back for the Connor's trial. She said she couldn't bring herself to do anything with it because she was convinced that I would be back. She said they didn't want me opening it there because they knew it would be emotional and she wanted us to do it together" Alex then began sobbing. She missed her mother even more now.

"Oh baby, come here" Olivia said as she pulled Alex closer and wrapped her arms around her. After her crying subsided Olivia kissed her lightly on the lips while wiping her tears.

"Thank you"

"No need to thank me. I only wish I would've had a mother as wonderful as yours" Alex looked up; it was rare for Olivia to share anything about her mother. "I mean she had her moments. She always tried on my birthday but now that I know what she went through I can't blame her when she couldn't get through it. I mean how do you celebrate the result of the worst day of your life?"

"Oh Liv, I'm so sorry. I know you had a rough childhood but I'm grateful to your mother for having you, because if she hadn't I would've never met you. That is something I will forever be grateful for" Alex said as she slid further down in the bed pulling Olivia with her.

"I love you" Olivia replied. She got comfortable before Alex wrapped her arms around her "I can't really blame her for how my life was, she did try. Christmas was always one day that she really made an effort. She would do her best to stay away from the bottle, and most years she did. Even if she ended up drinking she would at least wait until that night. We would open gifts and have a nice little lunch. I was always able to get her something because Mrs. Dolan, she was a nice old Irish lady who lived next door and used to check in on me when Mom was working, would give me money when I helped her with her groceries or little chores around the house" Olivia turned her head back to look at Alex "Alex I swear to you I'll be a better mother than she was. I promise"

Alex began running her hands over Olivia's belly "I know baby, I know. I just hope I can be as good a mother as mine was"

"You will Alex, you will" Olivia replied as they fell asleep.

The next day was supposed to be a lazy Sunday but Alex and Olivia were in full blown nesting mode. Alex was washing up the clothes and blankets they had received at their shower while Olivia sat on the couch and folded them. Alex smiled as she pulled the tiny clothes from the dryer; she never knew doing laundry could make her so happy. She had heard the buzzer and by the time she made it back to the living room Olivia had already answered it "Who is it?" Alex asked as she sat down on the couch.

"It's your aunt Sandra. I just buzzed her up"

Alex's face paled, if there was one relative she didn't want to see it was Sandra. While her mother, Bill and her aunt Mary were kind, friendly and respectful; her aunt Sandra was the exact opposite.

"Alex, are you okay?" Olivia asked as she put her hand on Alex's cheek and turned her to face her. "I'm sorry should I not have let her up?"

Alex sighed "It's not your fault I've never told you about her. I really hoped you two would never have to meet" Olivia gave her a questioning look "She's horrible Liv, and I'm just afraid of what she'll say to you"

"So she doesn't know about us?" Alex shook her head no. "Well don't worry about me, I'm a big girl I can handle her"

"I don't know she can be really harsh. I remember when she found out that I was dating a girl in college, she went ballistic. Mom and Dad were okay with it, so were Bill and his family as well as Mary. Sandra was the only one with a problem, well her daughter did too she's just as bad" Alex jumped when she heard a knock at the door. As she went to open it Olivia grabbed her arm.

"Do you want me to ask her to leave?"

Alex gave her a slight smile "No I should answer the door. It's one thing if she knows I'm with you but if she doesn't know about the baby, well I really don't want her making a scene in the hallway" Alex took a deep breath and put on her best fake smile before opening the door "Hello Sandra"

"Alex" Sandra replied.

Alex took a deep breath "Please come in" she said as she stepped aside allowing her aunt to enter. She closed the door and walked over to stand by Olivia taking her hand "Olivia this is my Aunt Sandra. Sandra this is my wife Olivia" Alex felt her hand go clammy in Olivia's, but felt comforted when Olivia squeezed it in support. Alex watched her aunt carefully for a moment she noticed Sandra couldn't tear her eyes away from Olivia's belly.

"It's nice to meet you" Olivia said in an attempt to get a response from the older woman.

"I wish I could say the same" Sandra replied.

Alex hung her head this was what she was afraid of. "Sandra"

Sandra cut Alex off before she could continue "Alexandra how could you? I had heard about your supposed marriage, but a baby? I can't believe you would do this" she looked at Olivia's belly again. "I can tell by the size of her belly that she was pregnant before your return. Are you out of your mind getting with someone who is expecting a child? You do realize your marriage isn't legal so you will have no claim on her child. All she's doing is using you for your money"

"Sandra I've been through this with someone else once already I won't have this argument with you too. Let me make it clear; I love Olivia and she loves me. Oh and this is our child, I don't need a piece of paper saying I love him and he's mine. She's not using me for my money"

"Oh really? Then why did she take your last name?" Sandra asked.

"I would've been just as happy taking hers. It's what she wanted to do, and to be honest I couldn't be happier" Alex said while squeezing Olivia's hand.

"Alex I know about your little phases you've gone through but you are an adult now, it's time to act like it. It's time you find a good man who can treat you right" she looked around the apartment "You deserve so much better than this little place"

"For your information I love this 'little place' as you put it" Alex stood "Now I won't have you come into our home and talk to us this way. I want you to leave; I don't want you to come around Olivia or myself ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

Sandra stood to leave; she stopped at the door "What would your mother say?"

"I have a pretty good idea" Alex said before slamming the door.

Olivia walked over and wrapped her arms around Alex "I'm sorry sweetie"

Alex pulled back "It's not your fault. Olivia I want you to know I don't believe anything she said about you. I know you love me for me and not for what I have or my name"

They sat down on the couch to try and relax and get back to the good day they were having before Sandra's arrival. A little time had passed when Olivia took Alex's hand and began playing with her wedding ring "Alex what do we need to do to have you legally recognized as his mother?"

Alex looked over surprised, she knew Olivia had said that she was the baby's parent as well but to her say she wanted Alex legally recognized it caught her off guard. "Really?" Olivia nodded. "I don't want you to think that you have to do this"

"I'm not doing it because I have to; I'm doing it because I want to. It's also because I don't have any family and in my line of work I want to know he'll be okay. Don't get me wrong I know he'll be fine as long as you're around but if something were to happen to me I don't want someone trying to take him away from you. You're his mother Alex, just as much as I am. I want to make sure no one tries to prevent you from seeing him at the hospital, or if God forbid something be wrong with him someone trying to prevent your access to him"

Alex grinned "First of all no one will ever take him from me or prevent me from seeing him, you should know that about me by now" Olivia laughed and nodded her head "I'll have to do a little research on the law but basically I'll have to adopt him. I of course won't be listed on the birth certificate but I will be considered his adoptive mother. Once the papers are signed and filed no one can take him from me. In the eyes of the law I'll be his mother just as much as you are"

"Can we go ahead and get the process started? I just don't want anyone trying to keep you from him in the hospital, or making decisions for him in the event I can't"

"Yeah, I'll call a guy I went to law school with. He specializes in adoption and child issues, he'll know exactly what we need to do" Alex grinned "And I bet if I ask nicely Donnelly would be willing to sign the paperwork"

"Sounds like a plan to me" Olivia said as leaned in for a kiss. Alex smiled when she felt Olivia's lips on hers. She slid her hand up to the back of Olivia's neck to hold her in place. Alex smiled inwardly as she thought about their baby. 'He's mine and there will be nothing anyone can do to take him away'.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Alex couldn't help the tears in her eyes as she finished signing her name. She slid the paper across the desk to Liz who smiled as she took the paper and signed her name. It was official; she was legally the mother of baby boy Cabot. Alex turned and looked at Olivia, who was also crying. They leaned in for a passionate kiss, not caring that their adoption attorney as well as Liz was watching. Alex laughed when she finally pulled away "I love you"

Olivia laughed along with her "I love you too" she took Alex's hand and placed it on her belly "Now no one can take him away from you"

"Like I'd have ever let them" Alex smirked, and causing everyone in the room to laugh.

Liz stood and walked around her desk, "Now you do understand that the adoption isn't final until after the baby is born. Once he's born the paperwork will be filed and you will legally be his mother. Until then this paperwork will allow you access to him in the hospital it will also allow you to make medical decisions in the event Olivia is unable to" She extended her hand to Alex "Congratulations Alex. You'll be a wonderful mother. So will you detective" she said as she then shook Olivia's hand.

The couple left the courthouse hand in hand, with smiles that lit up their entire face. "So do you want to grab a bite to eat?" Alex asked as she wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist.

"You know believe it or not I am a little hungry" Olivia said with a grin.

Alex threw her head back and laughed "Imagine that!" they walked a little further in silence "So what are you in the mood for?"

Olivia gave Alex a coy grin "Well what I'm really in the mood for I can't have because were in public, and you are opposed to that much public affection" Olivia laughed when Alex blushed as she realized what Olivia meant.

"Olivia" Alex whined "I meant what do you want to eat?" Alex blushed even more when she realized what she said, causing Olivia to laugh even harder. "Oh shut up, you know exactly what I meant"

Olivia was finally able to get her laughter under control "I think I want pizza"

"Okay" Alex said as they hailed a cab and headed for their favorite pizzeria. "So what kind do you want?" Alex asked after they were seated.

"Hmm" Olivia said as she looked over the menu, she grinned "I know. I want a pizza with cheese, bacon, pineapple and ranch dressing" she looked up at Alex. "What do you want?"

Alex made a face "I think I want my own pizza" she said as the waitress walked over to their table. Alex looked up at the girl "I'll have a small pizza with pepperoni, cheese, peppers and onions. And she'll have a small pizza with cheese, bacon, pineapple and ranch dressing on the side"

"Umm can you make that second one a medium instead of small" Olivia asked. She noted the look on Alex's face "What? I'm hungry"

They had just walked through the door of their apartment when Olivia suddenly doubled over "Oww! Oh God" she panted out as she leaned on the counter separating the dining area and kitchen.

Alex rushed to her side "What's wrong, are you okay?" she asked as she gently rubbed Olivia's back.

"Contraction" Olivia finally managed to say when the pain had subsided.

Alex immediately became concerned, panicked and excited at the same time. She tried to keep her emotions in check, this was not the first time Olivia had had contractions, although this was the strongest one so far. She waited until Olivia was able to stand upright and helped her to the couch "I really think we should go to the hospital"

Olivia squeezed her hand "No, I'm okay. The doctor said its common this close to my due date. It's probably because I made such a pig of myself a little bit ago"

Alex couldn't help the sarcasm in her voice "Really Liv? I don't think that was indigestion"

Olivia grimaced "No it wasn't, but just give me a minute I'll be okay"

Alex was finally able to coax Olivia into taking a nap that afternoon but it was short lived when Olivia woke up having contractions again. Only this time it was more than one "I don't care what you say you're going to the hospital" Alex said adamantly.

"I think that might not be such a bad idea" Olivia replied, shocking Alex who was more than ready to win this argument.

Once in the ER Olivia's contractions all but stopped. "So had you began to dilate when you had your last doctor visit?" asked the doctor who was treating Olivia.

"Yeah I was at a one but she said that was normal, of course that was three days ago" Olivia replied.

"Well you're up to a two so you're getting closer but I don't believe you're in labor yet. So give me just a few minutes and we'll have you out of here and on your way home" the young man said as he went to leave the room.

This was not sitting well with Alex at all "Excuse me but if she is dilating more shouldn't she be admitted?"

"No she could stay at this stage for another week. The best thing she can do is go home and rest" he then turned and left the room.

"I don't like it Liv, I think you need to be admitted" Alex said as she reluctantly helped Olivia get dressed.

"It's okay Alex I haven't had a contraction since we got here. It's probably just false labor. Let's go home and rest"

The rest of the evening Alex couldn't sit still. Even when they were sitting on the couch watching a move she fidgeted constantly, eventually to the point of Olivia having to say something. "Alex you've got to calm down. In case you forgot I'm the one who has to push him out, not you"

"I know it's just driving me nuts waiting. I can't wait to see him, to hold him" she said as she rubbed Olivia's belly.

"Me too. I mean as much as I love being pregnant I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready to not bump into things as I walk around" she leaned in to whisper in Alex's ear "And I can't wait to be able to make love to you without my belly in the way"

Alex shivered "Oh trust me I can't wait either"

Later after the movie ended Alex ran a hot bath and lit several candles. They sat in the dimly lit room, relaxing in the warm water and enjoying one another's company. "You realize this might be the last time we get to do this for a while" Olivia said as she relaxed back into Alex's embrace, pulling the blonde's arms tighter around her.

"I know but at the same time it's gonna be worth it" Alex replied. She sighed as she ran her hands over Olivia's belly "This is what I'm going to miss; rubbing your belly, feeling him follow the movement of my hands" Alex slowly slid her hands up to cover Olivia's breasts "I think I'm gonna miss these most" she said with a slight chuckle.

"Pervert" Olivia said with a laugh. "I personally hope they go back down, they're huge"

"You say that like it's a bad thing" Alex said as she placed a kiss to Olivia's temple. "Seriously though; I love you the way you are, whether your body stays the way it is now or goes back to the way it was before you were pregnant. I love you no matter what" she said as she placed kisses down the side of Olivia's neck.

Olivia choked out a few tears "Thank you. I don't feel that attractive, but you always make me feel beautiful"

"You are beautiful Olivia, don't ever forget that" They sat that way for a little longer before finally getting out and going to bed. They had only been asleep a couple hours when Alex felt the bed shift. She rolled over in time to see Olivia heading toward the bathroom "Baby, you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, just have to use the bathroom for the millionth time tonight" Olivia said as she rubbed her back while walking to the bathroom. Alex rolled back over to go back to sleep when she heard Olivia shout "Alex!"

Alex quickly jumped across the bed and ran to the bathroom "Olivia what's wrong?" she said as she pushed through the door.

"My water broke" Olivia said as she held her side and leaned against the sink.

Alex was ready to panic but told herself to remain calm when she noticed the panicked look in Olivia's eyes. "Okay, it's okay baby. Let's get you into some dry clothes and we'll go" Alex helped Olivia clean up and then into some dry clothes. Once Olivia was taken care of Alex quickly changed into jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed Olivia's bag and went to leave. Just before she opened the door she felt Olivia stop her, she turned to face Olivia "What is it?"

Olivia glanced around the apartment "Do you realize that once we leave this apartment everything changes? Nothing will ever be the same again"

Alex wrapped Olivia in a tight hug "I know, but it's going to be wonderful. It'll be everything I've ever needed"

"Me too" Olivia said as she felt another contraction coming, she placed a quick kiss on Alex's lips "We need to go though"

Alex parked her car and helped Olivia into the ER for the second time in less than twenty four hours. The nurses quickly got Olivia into a room leaving Alex to help her change into a gown "God I hate these things" Olivia said as she settled into the bed.

Alex was about to respond when the same doctor from earlier entered the room "Back again are we?" he said as he began looking over Olivia's chart.

Alex's eyes went wide "Are you serious? Of course we're back. What do you expect when you send a person home that is in labor?"

"Ma'am I sent her home because at the time she wasn't in labor, early labor yes, but not actual labor. Any other doctor would've done the same thing. Now I need to check your friend so if you would step outside for a moment"

Alex was certain her head was about to explode, surely he didn't just refer to Olivia as her friend. She felt Olivia squeeze her hand and say her name, trying to stop the explosion she knew was about to happen. Alex stepped closer to the younger man "Are you really that stupid? We are here in the middle of the night and we are both wearing matching rings. Oh and the fact that we have the same last name, what part of that don't you get? We're married, to each other, and this is our baby. So I would really appreaciate it if you would get her doctor, Dr. Lee, in here and if not her at least someone who is competent" Alex was about to lite into him again when Olivia screamed out with another contraction.

"Alex just let him do what he needs to do" she looked at the doctor "But she stays"

The doctor quickly went about checking Olivia and informed her that he would be sending her up to the maternity ward. As soon as he'd left Alex turned to face Olivia "Liv I'm so sorry about that. I didn't mean to lose it like that, I just couldn't control myself"

"It's okay, he pissed me off too. I just didn't have it in me to react" Olivia said as she winced at the feeling of another contraction coming on.

It was almost two am and Olivia had all but stopped making any progress, she was stalled at five centimeters. Alex was doing everything in her power to make her more comfortable; she was feeding her ice chips, massaging her back and even had her up for a walk. Alex looked at the monitor that was tracking Olivia's contractions and noticed another was coming on. She grabbed the damp cloth and began wiping Olivia's forehead while talking her through it "That's it baby just breathe. You're doing great" she said as she pressed a kiss to Olivia's temple. "I love you"

"I love you too" Olivia panted as she slowly relaxed. "Where the hell is that epidural?" Olivia asked once the contraction ended.

"I don't know. If you're okay for a minute I'll go find out" Olivia nodded for Alex to go. Alex hated seeing Olivia in that much pain. Olivia had wanted to try and have the baby naturally but the pain was getting to be too much, and to Alex that spoke volumes considering Olivia's high pain threshold. The nurse had promised the anesthesiologist would be in shortly but no one had come, and the nurse had yet to return as well. Alex was sure it was because Olivia had gone through a particularly bitchy mood when she hit five centimeters. Alex eyed the nurse sitting behind the desk as she walked down the hall. She thought to herself 'Well if she thought Olivia was in a mood she ain't seen anything yet' "Excuse me can you tell me when the anesthesiologist will be coming to give my wife her epidural?"

The nurse, who appeared to be about Alex's age, looked up and waited a second before replying "It's going to be a minute he's in with another patient" she said looking at her computer screen.

Alex took a deep breath "Okay, but we would've appreciated it if you had come back and let us know that"

The other woman looked back up "We're busy"

Alex closed her eyes and knew she was fighting a losing battle; the prosecutor in her was about to come out "Yes I can see where holding that chair down would take up so much of your time. My wife is in there in labor and you are more concerned with sitting here reading a magazine" the nurse looked shocked, not realizing Alex had seen it "Oh don't act like I didn't see you try to hide it. You have a job to do and I would greatly appreciate if you did it, I'm sure the other patients would appreciate it as well" Alex was turning to walk away when the woman thought she could get a comment in under her breath, but Alex heard it. "I'm sorry what did you say?" Alex asked as she stormed back to the desk "Did you just say 'So sue me?'"

"What if I did?" she replied.

"You know what honey? I'm a lawyer and I have time on my hands, don't tempt me. I could come up with plenty of reasons to sue you" she turned a walked back to Olivia's room, calming herself before entering the room.

She was happy to see the older nurse who had been in helping them earlier, Mary was her name. "I'm so sorry Mrs. Cabot. I would've come to tell you the anesthesiologist was running behind but I thought the other nurse had"

Alex smiled and sat down on the bed next to Olivia "Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault" Alex was wiping Olivia's forehead when they were startled by a loud beeping "What is that?"

Olivia sat up straighter in the bed "The baby, is the baby okay?" she gripped Alex's hand in hers as another contraction hit at that exact moment.

Mary walked over and looked at the monitor. She pressed the call button "Get Dr. Lee in here now" she looked over at the worried couple "The baby's heart rate is dropping. It's not dangerously low but it is going down" Alex and Olivia both began to panic. Mary walked over and placed a hand on both their shoulders "Don't worry too much yet, okay" she turned her attention to Olivia "Olivia I know it's the last thing you want to hear but you need to stay calm. The more upset you get the more it's going to stress the baby" Olivia nodded.

Dr. Lee entered the room and pulled on a pair of gloves "Olivia, Alex" she said nodding to both ladies. She sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled the sheets up "Okay Olivia I'm going to check you again so if you can pull your knees up and let your legs fall open please"

Olivia got into the position that the doctor asked while Alex held her hand. Alex watched the doctor as she checked Olivia and watched the monitor at the same time. She waited till the doctor finished her exam "Is he okay?"

Dr. Lee stood and sighed "For right now yes" Alex and Olivia both began to cry "At the moment he's fine, yes his heart rate is down but it's still within normal range. The problem is that he has slid down and is lying sort of sideways, basically blocking the birth canal. Olivia I'd like to try and turn him a little"

"Is it dangerous?" Olivia asked.

"No, but it will be uncomfortable"

"Okay, let's do it" Olivia replied. Alex held Olivia's hand tight as she winced while the doctor began trying to turn the baby. Once she was done she asked Olivia to roll onto her side, wait about fifteen minutes and roll to the other side. This would sometimes cause the baby to turn.

"I also have some good news for you. You're now at nine centimeters"

Olivia looked shocked "How? When you checked me an hour and a half ago I was only at five"

"Sometimes that happens, unfortunately this means you won't be getting your epidural" she smiled sympathetically as Olivia laid her head back and groaned. "I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but it also means we'll begin pushing soon. So you might want to rest up for a little bit now while you can"

By three thirty that morning Alex was sitting behind Olivia, supporting her as she was trying to give birth to their son. "Come on baby push, I know you can do it"

Olivia squeezed Alex's hand even tighter as another contraction took over and pushed even harder. When she was able to relax she fell back against Alex "I can't do it, I can't"

"Yes you can" Alex said as she gently wiped the sweat from Olivia's forehead. "You can baby I know you can. You know why?" Olivia shook her head "I know you can because you take on the worst in New York and put them away. You can because you single handedly kept me alive; it's because of you I'm here. You can do this because you are Olivia Benson and you can do anything" Alex said as she placed a kiss to Olivia's temple.

Olivia squeezed her hand again "Cabot" Olivia said through gritted teeth.

"What?" Alex asked.

"My name is Cabot" Olivia said as she pushed through yet another contraction.

Alex smiled bright enough to light up the room "That's right baby your name is Cabot"

By four that morning Olivia had been pushing for an hour with no luck. Dr. Lee checked the monitor for the baby "Olivia you're not making much progress. My biggest concern is that his heart rate is dropping. I want to do an emergency c-section"

Olivia began to cry more than she already was "Is he okay? Please don't let anything happen to him"

Alex took a deep breath; she had never known fear like she did in that moment. Yes she had been scared the night she was shot, when she was told she was going into witness protection, and when she came back to testify. However hearing the doctor say that her son's heart rate was dropping and Olivia needed emergency surgery put a fear in her like she'd never known. "Olivia?" Alex asked as she looked down at the exhausted woman in her arms.

Olivia nodded "Okay, okay; just do whatever you need to do to get him out"

The next few minutes were a flurry of movement and at the same time everything seemed to go in slow motion. Before she knew it she was walking down the hall beside the bed Olivia was in holding her hand. When they made it to the OR Alex was taken into a separate room from Olivia. "I want to be with her" Alex said.

"You will, but before you can go in you need to put a gown over your clothes" the nurse said as she handed Alex the gown.

Alex walked into the room and took a seat on the stool next to Olivia's head. She leaned in and placed a kiss on Olivia's mouth "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay" Olivia said. She took a deep breath and looked back at Alex "This is it; nothing is ever going to be the same"

Alex grinned from ear to ear "I know baby and it's going to be wonderful" She took Olivia's hand in hers and held on tight.

"Okay Olivia I'm about to make the incision. There won't be any pain but you will feel some pressure when I begin to pull him out" Dr. Lee said.

Olivia squeezed Alex's hand and stared into her eyes. Alex stared back into the eyes she loved so much. She saw the last couple years of her life flash in front of her eyes; from the first time she asked Olivia out on a date, to that night lying on the sidewalk listening to Olivia's voice begging her not to leave, to the night she returned home. It had all been leading up to this. Alex quickly looked up when she heard the doctors voice "Okay ladies get ready to meet the newest member of your family" Alex looked back into Olivia's eyes and felt her breath hitch when she heard the most wonderful sound in the world. She and Olivia both began to cry when they heard their son's cry.

"Congratulations ladies, it's a boy!" Dr. Lee said as she held the baby up for them to see. After a moment she took the baby back down and handed him to one of the nurses.

Olivia choked out a sob "I love you Alex"

Alex leaned in and kissed Olivia with all the love she held for her "I love you too baby. I love you so much" Alex said as she wiped the tears from Olivia's face.

Olivia looked in the direction the baby had been taken in "Is he okay? Alex go check on him"

Alex nodded and placed a quick kiss on Olivia's temple "Okay I'll be right back" She stood and walked over to where the nurses were checking her son. "Is he okay?"

One of the pediatric nurses looked up "Heart rate is good, everything looks good" Alex smiled when she looked at the baby. It was as though he was looking right at her. Alex began wiping the tears that were streaming down her face. She stared at the baby in front of her; he was beautiful, she had never seen a more perfect baby. Granted he looked like Olivia so of course he would be perfect. She kept looking at the infant and Alex already knew she was wrapped around his tiny finger. She knew in that instant there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for her son; she now understood what it meant to be willing to die for someone.

"Mrs. Cabot" Alex reluctantly looked away when one of the nurses said her name. "Would you like to take him over to meet his Mommy?"

Alex smiled and was barely able to speak "Yes please" Alex took the baby in her arms, she had been worried that she wouldn't have the same connection with him that Olivia would but when he snuggled against her she knew he loved her. She walked back over to sit down beside Olivia "Hey handsome I want you to meet your Mommy" Alex said as she held the baby against Olivia's chest so she could see him.

"Hi baby" Olivia managed to choke out between sobs. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on the baby. Alex thought she had never seen a more wonderful sight. Alex held the baby there for a few more minutes before pulling him back against her chest. "So how much did he weigh?" Olivia asked.

"Ten pounds one ounce and twenty inches long" she said with all the pride of a new mother.

Olivia's jaw dropped "No wonder I couldn't push him out, he's huge"

Alex laughed "He's not huge, he's healthy"

"Excuse me ladies" the nurse who had been tending to the baby said. "Does he have a name?"

Olivia looked into Alex's eyes "Yes his name is Henry Alexander Cabot"

Alex's eyes went wide with surprise "What happened to James?" When she and Olivia were choosing his name they had decided on Henry James although she thought Olivia was holding something back. It only took a second before the tears began all over again.

"If you don't like it we can still go with James. I just wanted to name him after you" Olivia replied.

"No it's fine I love it" Alex said leaning in for a kiss. She looked back up at the nurse "Henry Alexander Cabot"

The nurse wrote the name down before taking the baby and putting a bracelet on his ankle. She then returned and put a bracelet on both Alex and Olivia "Okay you need to leave this bracelet on until you leave the hospital. If you don't have it on you can't ask for the baby, you can't go in the nursery to see him. Also if you don't have it a nurse won't leave him with you." Both nodded they understood. "Okay. We will be taking him up to the nursery. Alex if you want you can accompany him while they finish up with Olivia. Once she's settled in her room we'll take you to her"

"I'm going to call Bill and Gail is there anyone you want me to call, the captain or Elliot?"

"Go ahead and call captain, he should be up by now. I'll call Elliot in a little while"

"Okay I'll see you in a little bit. I love you" Alex said as she leaned in and kissed Olivia, before following the nurse and her son out of the room. Alex smiled as she walked down the hall alongside the bassinet carrying her son, she had a family and she couldn't be happier.

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I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

Once again thank you for the favs, follows and reviews. It blows me away that this many people are interested in my story. I'm sorry this chapter took so long to be posted but it's been a very difficult week beginning with the unexpected death of a longtime co-worker. However we did welcome a new baby to the family over the weekend. I used that for a little inspiration. As always let me know what you think, l love hearing your opinion. Enjoy!

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Chapter 11

Alex stood just outside the nursery watching her son through the window. Olivia had been settled in her room and was now sleeping. As tired as Alex was she couldn't bear to be away from her son. Alex turned when she felt someone staring at her.

"Congratulations Mom" Don said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Thanks Don" Alex said as she hugged the captain. They may have started out a little unsure of each other but had quickly become friends and allies.

They turned back to look at the baby "So let me guess he's the handsome fellow right in front" Cragen said.

"You would be correct. Little Henry Alexander Cabot, the most handsome baby in there" Alex said wiping tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Born at four twenty nine am, ten pounds one ounce and twenty inches long"

"Wow, I'd say he's a keeper" Don said. "How's Olivia doing?"

"She's exhausted she's only had a few hours' sleep since yesterday morning, but she's sleeping right now. At the same time I've never seen her happier"

"Well you both deserve it. Tell her I'll be back later to see her. Is it okay if I make the announcement at work or does she want to tell people herself?"

"She wants to tell Elliot herself so if you wouldn't mind holding off till she talks to him. They should be bringing her breakfast shortly so she'll probably call him then. I'll let you know as soon as she talks to him"

"Okay let her know that we'll stop in later" He gave Alex another hug "Alex if there's anything you two need, anything at all just let us know"

"Thank you Don we will" Alex stood watching the baby for a few more minutes before heading back to Olivia's room. She stood in the doorway for a minute watching the brunette sleep; she had a whole new love for Olivia. She walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed when she saw Olivia beginning to wake up "Good morning Mommy"

Olivia smiled "Well good morning to you Mama" she pulled Alex down for a kiss. When they parted Olivia began looking around the room "Where is he?"

"He's in the nursery and yes he's fine. They're bringing your breakfast in just a minute and they'll bring him in just a little bit. I asked them to hold off for a little bit so you could rest" she helped Olivia sit up "Oh Don was just here. He said congratulations and that he and the guys would be back later today. I also told him that you wanted to tell Elliot before he told the rest of the guys. I also called Bill and Gail they said they would come by later also"

"I need to go ahead and call Elliot but will you help me up first I need to use the bathroom and I'm not sure I can get up on my own" Olivia asked with an embarrassed look.

"Of course I'll help you, and there's no need to be embarrassed" Alex said as she helped Olivia from the bed.

"It's just embarrassing that I have to rely on you to get me to the bathroom" Olivia said as they slowly walked across the room.

"Really Olivia? After everything we've been through and you're worried about me helping you to the bathroom?" Alex gave Olivia a coy grin "Besides there isn't a single part of you I haven't seen anyway"

Olivia blushed slightly "Yeah well it's still embarrassing"

Alex and Olivia were just finishing their breakfast "So what did Elliot say when you called?"

"He was really happy and said that if it was okay he would stop by later this evening" Olivia sighed "I know things are still awkward between us and even more so between the two of you but I'm okay with him coming by, are you?"

Alex placed her hand on Olivia's arm "I'm fine as long as you are. It may sound rude on my part but he's the one who had the problem with us, well me. I'm fine with him as long as he understands we're together and nothing he says will change that. If he wants to stop by its fine with me but I won't have him upsetting you"

"He won't he said he would only stop if it was okay with both of us"

"If it's okay with you then its okay with me" Alex picked her coffee up and took another sip she noticed Olivia staring at her cup "What?"

"It's been nine months since I've had a cup of coffee" Olivia said with a pout and puppy dog eyes.

"Oh all right you can have a drink" Alex said as she handed her cup to a smiling Olivia. Olivia had just returned the cup when there was a knock at the door. Both ladies smiled when the nurse wheeled the bassinet into the room. Alex smiled as she picked her son up from the bassinet and turned to hand him to Olivia "Hey Henry here's your Mommy" Alex teared up again as she watched Olivia hold their son for the first time.

"Hi Henry" Olivia said through her tears "Oh Alex he's perfect"

Alex sat down on the bed and scooted over next to Olivia "Of course he is he came from you" they stared at the baby in silence for a few minutes. Alex leaned her head over on Olivia's shoulder "He looks like you, you know" she said as she ran her hand gently along the baby's arm.

Olivia nodded in agreement. Henry didn't have much hair but what little bit he did was brown, he also had Olivia's complexion although not as dark. Both gasped when he opened his eyes for the first time since the OR, he had the brightest blue eyes "Oh my God he has your eyes Alex!"

Alex chuckled "He doesn't exactly have my eyes, but I think they're pretty close" Alex had to admit the baby's eyes were pretty close to the same shade of blue as hers. Most newborn baby's she'd seen had dark eyes, but Henry had the brightest blue eyes she'd ever seen.

Olivia pulled Henry tight against her and began to sob. Alex wrapped her arm around Olivia and pulled her close. "It's okay baby"

"I know it's just I've never been so happy. I never thought I could be this happy. I know I've said it before but this is exactly the way I pictured it when I made the decision to do this. I imagined sitting her with you and our baby I just never thought it would happen" Olivia said as she tried to get her tears under control.

Alex wasn't sure how long they had been sitting there when the nurse returned "Olivia it's time for Henry's first feeding. Are you going to bottle or breast feed?"

"I would like to at least try to nurse him"

"Okay then let's get started" Alex watched as Olivia opened her gown to attempt to nurse the baby. Alex couldn't help but scold herself for staring at Olivia's exposed chest when she was attempting to feed their son. She also couldn't help but grin at Olivia's blush as the nurse helped her get the baby in position. The nurse looked up at Alex "You can be a big help to Mommy here" she motioned for Alex to step closer.

Olivia was becoming frustrated when he wouldn't latch on "Why can't he do it?" she said as she was trying not to tear up. Alex ran her hand through her hair trying to calm her.

"Okay Alex here is where you can help. When he's having trouble run your finger lightly along his cheek this will usually get him to latch on" Alex began gently rubbing her finger along Henry's cheek and was surprised when he immediately latched on. "See that's all it took" the nurse said. She waited until Olivia was comfortable and also showed her how to switch sides before leaving the room.

"So, how is it?" Alex asked as she watched Olivia and the baby.

"It hurts a little but at the same time it's the best feeling in the world" she looked up and grinned at Alex "I also saw you staring, and I know it wasn't at Henry"

Alex rolled her eyes "So what if I was? Can you honestly say if I was sitting here with my shirt open you wouldn't be staring?" Olivia laughed "That's what I thought" Alex said as she leaned down and placed a kiss on Olivia's forehead.

It was afternoon and Alex was heading back upstairs after going to get a bite to eat, while Olivia took a nap. Around lunch Bill, Gail and Casey had stopped by for a visit bringing flowers and gifts along with them. She was walking down the hall toward the nursery when she saw Elliot looking through the window. "Elliot" Alex said as she walked closer to him.

Elliot turned and gave her a genuine smile "Congratulations" Alex smiled back. There was an awkward silence for a moment "How's Olivia doing?"

"She's good she was taking a nap but she might be awake now if you'd like to see her"

"I would like to see her, but are you okay with her seeing me?"

Alex took a deep breath "Elliot I would never tell her who she can and can't see. However I will not have you upsetting her. I won't have you saying anything too her and I won't have you making her feel bad"

"I won't I promise" Elliot sighed "Alex I need you to understand Olivia is important to me and I just didn't want to see her hurt. I know we've had this discussion but I don't care that she is with a woman, she had told me about dating women as well as men, and that never bothered me. I know I said it was because it was you but in all honesty I know I would've felt the same way no matter who she was with" Alex was about to say something when Elliot stopped her "Alex please let me say this and then I'll listen to whatever you want to say" Alex nodded and allowed him to continue "Alex I love her. Yes I love my wife even if we are separated at the moment. I've loved Olivia for a long time and I guess I just figured that once she was with someone else and happy she would have no use for me outside our work partnership. Now I know those feelings would never be returned in the way I wanted them to be, but as long as she was single I knew she was still mine. I know you don't believe me but when you left I was hurt; I was hurt that I wasn't able to protect you but I was hurt because Olivia was so hurt. Alex she cried for months, mostly in private, she told me how much she missed you and how much she loved you and wished she had told you that" Elliot looked down "It killed me to hear her say that but I knew she would never love anyone the way she loved you" He rubbed his hand over his face "When she told me she was going to try and have a baby I was so happy for her, it was what she had always wanted. Then she told me that she was choosing a donor based on your traits. I knew right then that she was not over you and never would be. I told her from the beginning I would support her no matter what"

Alex stood there and thought about what Elliot had said. She had always known he was in love with Olivia, and like Elliot she knew that those feelings were very one sided. She also knew that he was jealous of anyone that Olivia would've been with, whether it was her or not. She wasn't sure if Elliot was done or not but she decided to speak up "Elliot I'm glad you were there for her after I left. I'm also glad that you were willing to be there for her while going through this pregnancy, and I know you viewed me coming back as just coming in and taking over. I never intended it that way. All I knew when I stepped off that plane was that Olivia was the first and only person I wanted to see. Elliot you could've been there for her even though I was back but you allowed you jealousy to get the better of you, and now what do you have to show for it? You've hurt one of your closest friends. While you've apologized to both and we accepted it, you've also made things awkward between the two of you. You do realize it's probably going to be a while before things are back to the way they used to be" Elliot nodded that he did. "I don't mind you visiting as long as she doesn't mind, but you do know that this is my family"

"I know Alex, but I just wanted to be part of this baby's life. I told her I would take her to doctor's appointments and be there for the delivery and when you came back it was like I didn't count"

"Elliot I never meant for you to feel left out but Liv and I discussed this after she told me she was pregnant. We both admitted that had I not gone into to the program we would've ended up with a family. I told her I wanted to be a parent to this baby and I was thrilled when she said she wanted me to be a parent to this baby. And as long as Olivia's okay with it you will be part of this baby's life. Just like Cragen, Munch and Fin as well as Casey and my family" Alex said. Even though she was still frustrated, and somewhat angry, with Elliot she was trying to see things from his point of view. She had to give him credit he was trying.

"Alex I want to have an important role in his life. I want to be like a father to him, you know a second parent, you know take him to ball games and things like that"

"He already has a second parent, me" Alex said while trying to keep the frustration out of her voice. "Elliot he already has two parents, me and Olivia. Yes I believe he will need a male role model in his life and that is where you and the rest of the guys come in along with my uncle Bill. However Olivia and I are his parents so he doesn't need a second parent" Alex knew she was about to lose it so she decided to just drop the conversation there. She just wanted to spend time with her little family and the sooner Elliot saw Olivia the sooner he would leave. Alex began walking down the hall toward Olivia's room; she turned and looked at Elliot "Are you coming?"

"Yeah" he replied as he followed behind.

"Wait here" Alex said to Elliot as she entered the room. She couldn't help but smile when she saw Olivia sitting in the bed with Henry curled up on her chest. "Hey" Alex whispered as she walked closer to the bed. Olivia smiled the smile that never failed to make Alex weak in the knees.

"I don't want to do anything else ever again" Olivia whispered.

Alex leaned in for a kiss "You know you don't have too. Like I've said if you don't want to work ever again you don't have too, neither of us do"

Olivia chuckled "It's definitely tempting now"

Alex's expression turned serious "So Elliot's here he wants to know if it's okay to visit"

Olivia nodded "Is it okay with you though?" Alex nodded it was fine with her "Okay" Alex went over and opened the door for Elliot to come in. She then went back to sit on the bed next to Olivia. Alex had the urge to assert the fact that Olivia and the baby was hers and no one else's.

"Hey Liv, how you feeling?" Elliot said as he walked closer to the bed to get a look at the baby.

"Tired but at the same time I've never felt better" Olivia said glancing down at the baby. She looked back up "Would you like to hold him?"

Elliot smiled "I'd love to" he stared at the baby for a minute "God Liv he looks just like you"

Olivia laughed "I know poor thing" Alex playfully smacked her on the arm "He was waking up when you came in take a good look at his eyes, he doesn't look exactly like me"

Elliot looked closer when Henry opened his eyes "He's got blue eyes" Alex noticed the almost sad look in Elliot's eyes. She knew he was thinking; that Henry could pass for a combination of the two of them.

"Yeah just like his Mama" Olivia said leaning in closer to Alex.

"I just realized you never told me his name" Elliot said looking back at Olivia.

Olivia beamed "Henry Alexander Cabot"

"Alexander huh?"

Alex held her tongue and smiled while Olivia replied "Yeah" she ducked her head before looking back up "I've never told anyone this but I knew when I decided to do this that if it was a boy I would work Alexander into his name somehow and if it was a girl her name would be Alexandra. That way Alex would be here with me, but I lucked out and now I've got her and our baby"

Alex took the infant when he began to fuss. "Would it be possible for us to talk alone for a minute?" Elliot asked Olivia while Alex was checking Henry's diaper.

Alex walked back over to the bed "Another time maybe? I think somebody's getting hungry again" she looked down at the baby who was snuggling against her chest "And while I have the necessary equipment they're out of order"

Olivia laughed "Bring him here" and held her arms out.

"Well I guess I'll go"

"Thanks for stopping by Elliot" Olivia replied as she took the baby in her arms to get him settled.

Alex sat down on the bed next to Olivia but watched Elliot from the corner of her eye. There was no mistaking the look in his eyes; it was longing and regret. She knew he was wishing that it was him sitting there with Olivia and even though he apologized for his actions he was wishing that Alex had never came back because it would be him sitting there with Olivia.

"Alex, Alex" Olivia said. Alex looked back when she heard her name "Can you help me again? I can't quite get him in position" Alex smiled as she reached over and held Olivia's breast like the nurse had showed her and began rubbing Henry's cheek until he latched on. They sat in silence for a bit till Olivia broke it "So what did you two talk about before you came in here?"

"Nothing much"

Olivia tilted her head toward Alex "Alex I know better. You two talked about something"

Alex sighed "Okay basically he told me he was still sorry for what had happened but he felt like when I came back he was being pushed out of the way. I told him I never intended for that to happen. He also said he wanted to be part of Henry's life and I told him he would just like my family and the guys and Casey would be, but he said he wanted to be like his second parent. Liv I promise I was polite when I said it but I told him that he already had a second parent and that was me" Alex took a deep breath "Olivia he's still jealous that I'm with you and not him. He admits that you will never feel for him the way he feels for you but he basically admitted that until I came back he had every intention of playing 'daddy' to this baby. Now maybe I'm the one being jealous but he's my baby" Alex wiped a few stray tears from her eyes.

Olivia took her free hand and ran it along Alex's cheek before taking her hand in hers "Alex I have no intention of letting him play 'daddy'. We are his parents and that's all there is to it, and I think he needs good male role models and he has that with the guys. Alex even if you hadn't come back when you did I wouldn't have let him play second parent to him. I would've still held out hope for you to return and us be a family together" Olivia took Alex's hand and placed it on Henry's back then pulled her in for a kiss. Olivia smiled when they separated "We're a family Alex and I'm not about to let anyone or anything change that"

Alex wiped the tears from Olivia's face and hers as well before leaning down and placing a kiss on Henry's cheek. She then looked up and gave Olivia a devilish grin before placing a kiss to Olivia's exposed breast causing Olivia to shiver and her breath to hitch. Alex sat back up and kissed Olivia again "I love you" Alex sat back on the bed and laid her head on Olivia's shoulder to watch Henry. She finally had her family.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"You doing okay?" Alex asked Olivia as they walked up the stairs to their apartment. Henry and Olivia had been released from the hospital that morning and they were finally home.

"Yeah, I'm okay" Olivia replied as she slowly walked toward the apartment door. "Maybe I should've have taken into account the four flights of stairs when I got pregnant" she said with a laugh.

Alex, who had the diaper bag and her purse on one arm and Henry in his carrier in the other, unlocked their door and walked in "Welcome home baby" Alex said as she sat the carrier down on the coffee table "Both my babies" she said as she gave Olivia a quick kiss before pulling Henry from the carrier. Alex sat down on the couch and looked at her son in her arms and Olivia curled up next to her. It was dreaming of moments like this that got her through the lonely days in witness protection.

"This is perfect, absolutely perfect" Olivia said as she leaned in closer to Alex and the sleeping infant in her arms. "This might sound weird or morbid but when I get to moving around better I want to take him and introduce him to my Mom"

"I don't think it's weird"

"You don't?" Olivia said with surprise.

"No because I was kinda thinking of doing the same thing and introducing him to my parents. I mean it's obvious that my Mom loved you and was looking forward to us having a family, I just want her to know we are a family"

"I think that's a wonderful idea" Olivia was quiet for a moment "Alex you know about my childhood and how my mother was. Alex I promise you I'm going to be a better mother than mine was, I don't want Henry going through what I went through" Olivia was now openly crying.

Alex passed the baby to Olivia "Baby he's not going to have to go through what you went through. He has two parents who love him more than anything in the world. He will know every day how important he is, how special he is and how much we love him" Alex leaned over and placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek and held her close.

They spent a quiet first day at home as a family, except when Gail stopped by with dinner. Later that night after Olivia had given Henry is final feeding of the night she noticed a sadness in Alex's eyes. "Alex, sweetie what's wrong?"

"It's nothing" Alex said as she put Henry in his bassinet.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's waist and leaned her head on her shoulder "I know you better than anyone, and I know something is bothering you"

Alex turned and looked into Olivia's eyes; she saw nothing but love and concern in them. She turned the baby monitor on and pulled Olivia to the living room. She sat down on the couch and motioned Olivia to sit next to her. There was something bothering her but she had been afraid to voice it. She sat there in silence for a minute with Olivia holding her hand. She smiled to herself thinking how loving and patient Olivia was, she would never push Alex and would wait until Alex was ready to share something. "I love him so much" she said in a whisper.

"I know you do and so do I" Olivia said with a confused look.

"It's just I worry I'm not going to have the same connection with him that you do. I mean I know I got to hold him before you and we bonded in that instant, I immediately knew there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him. It might sound childish or jealous on my part but when I watch you nursing him I know that's a special bond that only the two of you will share. I will never have that connection with him. You also carried him that's a connection that is unbreakable" she sighed "I guess what I'm trying to say is I just worry that I'll never share a connection with him like you do. I'm afraid he won't bond with me like he has with you. I know that is me being jealous but there's just a part of me that can't help it"

Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex "No it's not being jealous, if the tables were turned and you had carried him I would feel the same way" she put her hand under Alex's chin and pulled her up so they were looking at each other "Alex I know he loves you, remember how he used to calm down when you would talk to my belly?" Alex nodded. Whenever Henry would be kicking at night and keeping Olivia awake she would rub Olivia's belly and talk to him, within minutes he would calm down. "Remember yesterday at the hospital when they pricked his heel to do a blood test? He was crying so hard and as soon as you picked him up he immediately began to calm down"

Alex had to admit her heart had soared when she picked him up and he calmed down instantly. "I hated that he was hurting but at the same time I was so happy when he snuggled against me"

"See he knows you're his Mama and he loves you. I know you want to feed him; I'm pumping so you'll be able to feed him as well. I don't want you to miss out on anything" Alex sighed as Olivia pulled her in for a hug "Now what do you say we go to bed because he's gonna be wide awake and hungry in a couple hours"

Alex stood and helped Olivia to her feet; they went to their bedroom and checked on Henry one last time before climbing in bed. "I love you so much" Alex said as she curled up against Olivia.

Olivia held Alex's hand tight "I know you do and I love you too"

Their first night home and the next day were very calm and uneventful. His first night home Henry woke every couple hours to be fed and changed and would fall right back asleep. Even though Olivia told her it wasn't necessary Alex got up for every feeding. She would allow Olivia to nurse then she would change him and put him back in his bassinet. That day they had several visitors; a few neighbors dropped by as well as Amy and Casey. Their second night home was not as smooth as the first. Alex groaned as Henry began to cry "I've got him" she said as she slowly rolled over.

"I can get him" Olivia said as she sat up

"No it's okay, I'm already up" Alex walked over and picked the wailing infant up, she began gently bouncing him as she walked around the room "Hey buddy what's the matter?"

"Is he wet? He just ate less than an hour ago so I doubt he's hungry" Olivia said as Alex came over to sit on the bed next to her.

"No he's dry. Why's he crying?" Alex asked she was becoming upset when she was unable to calm him down.

"Give him to me" Olivia said while reaching for the baby. She attempted to nurse him just in case but he wasn't hungry. She began rocking him hoping to calm him down.

Alex covered her eyes when she felt the sunlight hitting them. She rolled over and saw that it was just after six. She let her head fall back on the pillow. When working at the DA's office she had experienced many late nights and early morning but it had been a while. She glanced over at the bassinet and was grateful that Henry was sleeping peacefully. He had woken them up at a little past midnight the night before and they were unable to get him back to sleep until almost four. She knew he would be waking up just anytime to be fed again. She closed her eyes in hopes of getting a few more minutes sleep but it was short lived when she heard him begin to fuss. She also knew Olivia heard him when she felt her wife begin to move next to her.

"Didn't he just go back to sleep?" asked an exhausted Olivia.

"No it's been about two hours" Alex said as she got up and walked over to pick her son up. She was certain she had never been so tired but when she looked into his bright blue eyes she also knew she had never been happier. After handing the baby over to Olivia Alex went to the kitchen to begin what she was certain would be the first of many cups of coffee that day. She smiled as she walked back through the apartment, thinking how much it had changed in just a couple days. Normally everything would be in its place but not after last night; there was a blanket lying in the chair, a pacifier on the table along with a box of wipes and a stack of diapers. She never imagined this would be her life but she was so thankful that it was. She was about to enter the bedroom when she saw Olivia was still feeding Henry and softly talking to him. Alex stepped back to allow Olivia a moment of privacy however she couldn't help but tear up over what she heard Olivia say.

"You are a very special baby" Olivia said as she looked down at Henry. "I know you can't understand anything I'm saying but I want you to know that you are loved very much. You have two Mommies who love you very much and there isn't anything we wouldn't do for you" Alex began tearing up listening to Olivia speak "Your Mama and I may not have been together for very long but I know she is the person for me, and she is going to be the best Mama in the world to you" Olivia was quiet for a moment "I am also going to do my very best to be the best Mommy to you. I had a rough childhood, and I never want you to experience that. Sharing my childhood has always been difficult and I may never share it with you, it's not pleasant and it's not something I'm sure you should know about. However I always plan to be honest with you and I know Mama will be the same way" Olivia was quiet again and Alex was about to enter the room when she heard Olivia begin again, she desperately wanted to crawl back in bed beside her wife and son but she didn't want to interrupt. "I want to tell you a little about your Mama. She is the most wonderful, kind, caring, beautiful woman I've ever met" Olivia choked up a little which caused Alex to cry more "We met at work I'm a detective and Mama is a lawyer. Most people were surprised we began dating because of the way we would argue about our cases, but there was something about her that drew me in. I remember how excited I was when she asked me out on a date; I couldn't believe that someone so perfect would want to go on a date with me. We only got to date about a month before some very bad people threatened Mama and she had to go away for a while. It broke my heart because I knew I was in love with her but had never told her. She got to come back for a short time but had to leave again. It hurt even more the second time but I knew in my heart she would be back. This is where you come in. I always knew I wanted a family; I wanted a child could love and I knew I would give them everything I never had. So a few months after Mama left again I decided I was going to have a baby. I'll spare you the gory details but surprisingly I got pregnant with you on my first try. I picked someone who physically looked like Mama so you would look like both of us. That way if Mama never came back I would have you and maybe you could remind me of her" Olivia began smiling "Unlike some stories I got my happy ending. About two months after I got pregnant with you there was a knock at the door one night, when I opened the door your Mama was on the other side. I was so happy; I had to close my eyes for a second because I had been missing her something terrible since I found out I was pregnant with you and I thought that I was seeing things. We sat and talked, I told her about you and she was so happy. We also finally told each other that we loved each other; it was one of the best moments of my life. After that night things just fell into place for us. Mama moved in with me and a few months later we were married. A couple months after our wedding you were born and you know the rest of the story. I want you to know, Henry Alexander Cabot, that you have the most beautiful and wonderful Mama in the world and she loves you very much"

Alex couldn't hold back any longer, she walked into the bedroom and sat down on the bed next to Olivia. She smiled as she slid her hand to the back of Olivia's head and pulled her in for a kiss that could only be described as passionate as well as soul searching. "God I love you" Alex said when she finally parted because the need for air was so great.

Olivia smiled back "I love you too"

Alex looked down at Henry who seemed to be looking up at both his mothers. "Henry I also want you to know that you have the most wonderful, loving, caring, passionate and gorgeous Mommy in the world" Olivia chuckled at Alex's description. "What? It's true" Alex replied with a grin. When Henry was finished Alex took him so she could burp and change him giving Olivia a chance to go to the bathroom and go to the kitchen for something to drink. Alex lay back on the bed with Henry on her chest as he drifted back to sleep, she was beginning to drift off as well when she caught the flash of their camera. She looked up to see Olivia taking her picture. "Oh my God Liv did you have to take that? I look horrible" Alex said.

Olivia laughed as she settled in beside Alex "Yes I had to take it, you two looked so cute lying like that. Never mind the fact you're cute as hell first thing in the morning"

Alex laughed "So are you baby" she watched as Olivia tried to snuggle as close to her as possible and then held the camera up over them. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking a picture of us. Or would you prefer I call someone to take a picture of us in curled up in bed together?" Olivia said with a smirk.

Alex rolled her eyes but smiled at the same time. She leaned her head in closer to Olivia and waited for her to take the picture. "Let me see" Alex said as Olivia pressed the button to look at the picture she had just taken. She hated the thought that Olivia had wanted a picture of her first thing in the morning after a night of only about four hours sleep, but she would give Olivia anything she wanted. Alex gasped when she saw the picture on the screen. As much as she hated how she looked she couldn't help but think at the same time it was one of the most beautiful pictures of them she had ever seen. Their love for one another as well as Henry clearly showed through. "Oh Olivia I love it" Alex whispered.

"It is beautiful isn't it?" Olivia said. "Our family is perfect" she said while staring at the camera.

Alex took the camera from Olivia's hand and laid it on the bedside table. She held her arm out for Olivia to curl up and lay her head on her chest. She leaned down and kissed Olivia and then Henry on the top of the head before laying back. She couldn't help but smile as she looked down at her wife and son wrapped in her arms. Alex sighed as she laid her head back. Alex thought about her life; she had had a political aspiration, that was until she arrived at SVU. She found out helping the victims were more important, and then she met Olivia. Alex always had a way she thought her life would turn out, this was not exactly what she had pictured but she now knew she had everything she never knew she wanted. Alex sighed as she fell asleep she had everything she ever needed right here in her arms.

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A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I just couldn't seem to get anything to come out right. Once again thank you for the favorites and reviews, they mean a lot. As always I love to know what you think. Enjoy!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Alex heard the door open "I know I told you Henry and I would be ready when you got back, but if you give me just a few more minutes we will be" she called out. It was Bill and Gail's anniversary and they had been invited over for a party. Henry had been fussy all day and had just calmed down late that afternoon, which put Alex behind on getting ready. At first when she was left alone with the baby she was nervous but now she didn't even blink an eye at being left alone with him or taking him out by herself. Granted there had been a few disastrous moments in the beginning but they had both eventually gotten the hang of things. Henry was now four months old, and as happy as Alex had been when she returned she had to admit that this had been the happiest four months of her life.

She smiled when Olivia came in and sat down on their bed where Alex was just getting ready to change Henry into his outfit. She looked up and noticed the sad expression on Olivia's face and immediately took hold of her wife's hand "Baby what's wrong?"

"She was sitting at my desk, she's his partner now" Olivia said.

"Who?" Alex asked genuinely confused.

"Det. Beck or Dani I guess I should say. She's Elliot's partner" Olivia had gone to the precinct to talk to the captain about returning to work. While she wasn't quite ready to leave Henry she and Alex knew she would be going back eventually.

"I thought Fin and Munch said she was his temporary partner?"

"Obviously they were wrong, or were just saying that to keep me from knowing" she reached out and took Henry's hand and smiled when he wrapped his fingers around hers and smiled back "I told the captain I'm not ready to come back yet, maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't go back"

She lay down on the other side of Henry and looked at Olivia "I don't think it's a sign you shouldn't go back. We knew he would have another partner while you were gone. You wouldn't want him out there alone would you?" Olivia shook her head no "Okay, so why don't we just think about it a while? I know you'll make the right decision when the time comes. No matter what choice you make I'll support you one hundred percent"

"Thank you" Olivia said as she leaned over and placed a quick kiss on Alex's lips.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes watching their baby until Alex broke the silence "Okay if we don't get ready we're going to be late" Olivia smirked and gave her a pointed look "I know we've been late more in the last four months than I've ever been in my life, but I would at least like to make it somewhere on time just once" she reached over and swat Olivia on the behind "So get moving while I get the little prince ready" Olivia laughed and gave Alex another kiss before jumping up and heading to the bathroom.

Alex stood back up and began to change Henry into the outfit she had chosen for the party "Okay little man let's get you ready for your first big party" Alex had never really had experience with babies, aside from occasionally babysitting as a teenager, so it amazed her at how quickly she had gotten the hang of taking care of her son. Granted it had been a learning experience, especially when it came to changing diapers. She laughed as she remembered the night she learned she needed to be faster when changing him.

_Henry was two weeks old and Alex and Olivia had finally gotten into a routine. They had just given Henry his bath and Alex was laying him down on the bed to get him into his pajamas. She was just about to put his diaper on when she felt something warm hit her in the face. She looked down in time to see that Henry had needed to pee before she could get his diaper on him. Olivia who was sitting next to her on the bed quickly put her hand over the baby's face to keep him from getting wet, while Alex reached down and threw the towel back over him. Alex froze for a moment trying to figure out if what she thought had happened really did happen. Olivia's laughter brought her from her haze "Oh my God" Alex said as she grabbed a tissue from the bedside table to wipe her face. She looked at Olivia who was dying with laughter "What are you laughing at?"_

_Olivia held her stomach as she tried to stop laughing "I'm sorry but that was so funny. The look on your face was priceless!"_

Alex tapped Henry on the nose "You got Mama good that night didn't you?" Henry smiled back as if he knew what Alex was talking about. Alex still couldn't get over how much he looked like Olivia, aside from his blue eyes he was Olivia made over. She had been so excited to find a few baby pictures of Olivia, when she put her picture alongside one of Henry it was like looking at the same baby. Alex jumped when Olivia wrapped her arms around her waist. "Ready to go?" Alex asked as she turned to face Olivia, she was certain she stopped breathing when she saw Olivia's dress. Olivia was wearing a simple black dress but to Alex she couldn't look more beautiful. "You look beautiful" Alex said as she leaned in for a kiss.

"Not as beautiful as you" Olivia replied. Alex was wearing a blue sleeveless dress, and at Olivia's request her glasses. She had also chosen Henry's outfit to match their own. Olivia chuckled when she looked down at the baby. "I think we're the only family who coordinate our outfits for something other than pictures" Alex laughed and rolled her eyes as she picked Henry up and took him to the living room and put him in his carrier. She wrapped a blanket around him and picked his seat up "Let's go, we don't want Henry to be late for his first social event"

"Alex, Olivia; come in" Sherry said as she opened the door to her parents brownstone. "Oh my God he's gotten so big since I saw him last" she said as Alex pulled Henry from his seat.

"Out of the way Sherry it's my anniversary so I get him first" Gail said as she came into the living room and took Henry from Alex's arms. Alex laughed at her aunt; she was so grateful to have such a loving and supporting family. Bill and Gail, along with Cragen, had become Henry's surrogate grandparents. While Bill and Gail Harriman had grandchildren of their own they lived in Boston and they didn't get to see them as often as they liked, so they took every opportunity to spoil Henry. "How's my boy tonight?" Henry smiled back "Come on girls I want to introduce you to some friends of ours"

Alex and Olivia followed Gail to the dining room where a few guests were already mingling and enjoying cocktails. "Everyone this is our niece Alex Cabot and her wife Olivia, and this" Gail said turning Henry so everyone was able to see him "Is their son Henry Alexander Cabot" Gail took a minute to introduce everyone but Henry quickly became the center of attention.

Alex walked into the living room carrying Henry in her arms. She sat down next to Olivia who was talking to one of the judge's friends who was a retired captain. Alex had been afraid that Olivia would feel uncomfortable at the party but was glad she had found someone she could talk to. "I think someone is getting hungry" Alex whispered in Olivia's ear.

Olivia chuckled when she glanced over and noticed Henry rooting at Alex's chest. "Is there somewhere private I can nurse him?" Alex handed Henry over then stood and led Olivia back through the house to Bill's study.

Alex looked around the room that had been like a second home to her as a child. "I love this room" Alex said as she turned to face Olivia. She smiled when she looked at Olivia sitting in a chair nursing the baby; it was a something she had seen many times over the last four months and it still made her heart swell at the sight. She still sometimes couldn't believe they were hers.

"I'm guessing this is where you fell in love with the law" Olivia said as she watched Alex walk around the room.

"Yeah. We weren't down here very often but the company Dad worked for had him in the city occasionally so we kept an apartment here. Whenever we were here with him or just down to visit I would come in here and look through his law books. I mean you know how much I love to read; I basically had a library in my uncle's home" Alex smiled as she thought about the time she spent there. "I would sit here and listen to him talk about the law and how important the judicial system was. Something inside me said that it was what I was meant to do. When he realized my interest in the law he started taking me to court and would allow me to sit in the back of the courtroom and listen to cases"

Olivia reached out and took Alex's hand "Remind me to thank him for that"

"For what?" Alex asked with a confused look.

"For introducing you to the law. If he hadn't done so we would've never met" she glanced down at Henry "And I wouldn't have this amazing, wonderful wife; and I wouldn't have this amazing, wonderful baby. So yes I owe the judge a huge thank you"

Alex teared up and leaned in for a kiss "I think we both owe him a big thank you"

They finally made it back home a little after ten that night which was well past Henry's bed time. Luckily being passed from person to person had worn him out, so much so that he never even woke when Olivia changed him into his pajamas and put him in his crib. "I wonder what time he's going to wake up hungry?" Olivia asked as she turned the baby monitor on and slid in bed beside Alex.

"Well since he didn't get his last feeding at the usual time my guess would be around two or three in the morning" she chuckled "It's been a while since we had a two am feeding" At six weeks old Henry had begun sleeping through the night, only occasionally waking for a diaper change or fussing. She noticed Olivia's silence "Baby what's wrong?" Olivia lay there, not saying a word "Olivia?" Alex turned on her side so she was facing Olivia.

"It's stupid" Olivia said with a sad tone.

"This is about what happened at the precinct today isn't it?" Alex asked as she tilted Olivia's head up so they were looking at one another.

Olivia nodded "I know Elliot and I have had our rough spots especially in the last year or so but I still care about him, he's still my partner" Olivia said as she began crying.

"I know baby, I know" Alex said as she pulled Olivia close to her and let her cry. Once Olivia calmed down a little Alex decided to push further "Does it upset you that he has another partner while you're gone, or is it because you're afraid he's moved on from you?"

Olivia took a deep breath as she wiped the tears from her eyes "I don't know I mean I'm glad he has someone watching his back, but she just looked so at home sitting at my desk. I know I chose to leave and go to computer crimes and he had a different partner for a while but at least in that situation the other guy was to show Elliot what a pain in the ass he can be to work with" They both laughed knowing what Olivia said was true. "But now it's different, what if he doesn't want me back as his partner?" she began to cry again.

Alex ran her fingers through Olivia's hair, she had always liked it when it was short but there was something about it now that it was longer. As much as she loved it short she was hoping Olivia would continue to let it grow out. She especially loved when they were in bed and Olivia would lean over her to kiss her and her hair would fall around them, almost like a curtain keeping the moment private even though it was just the two of them in the room. She turned her attention back to her crying wife "Does this mean you're considering not going back to SVU?"

"No I want to go back. As difficult as it is and wears me down I know it's where I'm supposed to be"

"Do you want to have Elliot over to discuss things?"

"No I think I'll just wait until I go back, no point in making things weird any sooner than I have too" Olivia shifted a little and rolled Alex onto her back "We've probably only got a couple hours before the little man wakes up hungry and I can think of a better way to spend our time than talking about work"

Alex smiled as she wrapped her arms around Olivia and pulled her down to her "I like the way you think detective"

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**A/N: Let me just say thank you for your response to this story. I can't believe it has 25 favs and 74 follows, as well as 65 reviews. I know I've said it before but you have no idea how much it means to me. I enjoy the reviews; I love knowing what you think. I hope you enjoyed, and as always let me know what you're thinking!**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Alex rolled over when she felt the bed shift "Hey, where've you been?" she asked, her voice heavy with sleep.

Olivia turned so they were facing one another "I went for a walk" she was quiet for a moment "I went to talk to Elliot" She darted her eyes away from Alex.

"Oh" was all Alex could say. Olivia had been back to work for a couple weeks and while she and Elliot were still not back to where they used to be they were slowly working their way back. "Is everything okay?" She didn't know very many specifics of their latest case but she did know that it had really worn on Olivia.

"Valerie Sennet died a little while ago" Alex nodded and held Olivia tighter, she knew she had to allow Olivia time to process. "Alex she was lying there on that table, burned severely, knowing she was dying and she still lied to me about being raped" she choked out a sob "How do you grow to hate someone so much? How do you go from loving someone to hating them so much that you are on your death bed and still can't admit you lied about them?"

"I don't know baby. I guess some people allow things to get in the way. Some people just allow their hatred to take over. I really don't know what caused that to happen"

Olivia looked up with a fearful look in her eyes "Alex please tell me that will never happen to us. Please tell me that we are going to be together forever"

Alex allowed a few tears to escape her eyes, the raw emotion in Olivia's eyes and voice had cut straight to her heart "I promise you Olivia that will never happen to us, and yes we are going to be together forever" she slid closer to Olivia so their bodies were flush against one another. She reached out and ran her hand along Olivia's cheek "We have survived a drug cartel, my death, witness protection as well as a colicky baby. We are too stubborn and hard headed to allow anything to come between us" she leaned in as quickly as she could for a bruising kiss, Alex needed to feel Olivia's lips against her own and she was sure Olivia felt the same way. After a few minutes the kiss turned slower and more loving. Alex finally pulled away panting "I love you Olivia and there is nothing or no one who's going to change that"

Alex smiled down at Henry as she fed him "I can't believe my baby's six months old already" she said as she gave him his morning bottle. Her world seemed to have been a whirlwind in the past year; from coming home, to getting married to the birth of her son. Sometimes Alex had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. She looked back up at Olivia who was dressed for work "I can't believe we're about to do this" she said as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

Olivia was struggling to keep hers under control as well "I know I hate the thought as much as you do, but we're going to have to eventually. At least it's only going to be for a couple hours"

Today was the day that Henry would go to daycare for the first time. Since Olivia had returned to work and Alex was still doing volunteer work they knew the time had come. They had spent months looking for the perfect daycare after they had it narrowed down to a couple Olivia had Munch and Fin run background checks on all the employees. She was relieved when they came back clean. After making a couple visits to each one they had finally chosen one. Their plan was for Henry to go to daycare for a couple hours; Olivia would go to work and Alex would go to the foundation. "So we're set on the plan?"

"Yeah" Olivia sighed "We'll meet for lunch and pick him up. Alex I don't know if I can do this" she wiped a few tears away "I mean I know we've left him with Gail and Bill a couple times and I've had to leave him to go back to work but this is completely different. At least when I went back to work I was leaving him with you"

"I know but we've checked them out and I think we chose the right place, as much as I hate to leave him he's going to be fine" Alex left Olivia to get Henry ready while she finished getting ready herself.

As they walked into the daycare center Alex felt her stomach begin to turn. On their ride there she had given herself a pep talk and she thought she would be okay, but not now. She looked down at Henry in his carrier; he smiled up at her causing her to smile back. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes but she swore she wasn't going to cry, at least not until she left.

The owner of the daycare greeted them as they walked in "Hello Mrs. Cabot, Mrs. Cabot" she said as she shook both their hands.

"Hello Jennifer, and please its Alex and Olivia" Alex said as she shook the other woman's hand.

Jennifer smiled back "Okay. So are you ready?"

"No but if we don't do it know I don't think we'll ever be able to" Olivia replied.

"I understand how you feel" Jennifer replied "I was lucky I was able to keep my daughter here but when she went to school I was a mess. So I completely understand what you're going through right now" Alex and Olivia nodded. "I know we've met a couple times but are there any questions you have for me?" When both shook their head no she continued "Alright then I have both your numbers on file as well as all the information you gave me"

Olivia handed over the diaper bag "I'm still nursing so I brought along enough milk to get him through till we pick him up"

"It won't get mixed up with someone else will it?" Alex asked.

"No we keep everything separate along with their names on it" she gave them a sympathetic smile "Is there anything else?"

"No I think that's all" Olivia said as she struggled to keep her tears at bay. She pulled Henry from his seat "Okay baby you're going to stay here for a little while. Mama and I will be back in a couple hours to get you. You're going to have fun with Miss Jennifer" she gave him a kiss and hug then handed him to Alex.

Alex held Henry tight against her. She silently wondered if it was too late to change her mind and beg Olivia not to do this. She had enjoyed the past six months; she never thought she would be the stay at home Mom type but now she couldn't imagine not being with him all day. "I love you Henry and I'll see you in a little while" she gave him a quick kiss and handed him to Jennifer. Alex took Olivia's hand and they turned and left. They both managed to make it to the sidewalk before breaking down. Alex pulled Olivia against her as they cried.

"Why do I feel like a bad mother?" Olivia asked as she began wiping her eyes.

"Probably for the same reason I feel like a bad mother" Alex said as she wiped her own tears. "But we're not bad parents Olivia. Parents leave their kids in daycare every day. Besides it like you said earlier, we were going to have to do it eventually anyway. When I was about to leave I was thinking how I had gotten so used to being with him every day" she grinned "Who would've ever thought the Ice Queen would've ever been happy to be a stay at home Mom?"

Olivia chuckled "Probably no one. Of course I never thought I would want to give up my career but you and Henry made me give it serious consideration"

Alex took a deep breath "Okay if we don't leave now we're going to stand here until time to pick him back up" she leaned in and gave Olivia a kiss goodbye.

"I'll see you at lunch" Olivia said as they separated. They both headed off in opposite directions, neither knowing that the other continued to cry until they reached their destination.

"Hey baby I'm just getting a cab" Alex said as she answered her phone.

"Alex I'm so sorry but we caught a case. She's only four and she refuses to let me out of her sight until her mother is out of surgery"

Alex smiled even though Olivia couldn't see her. Olivia's compassion and dedication for the victims, it was one of the many things that made her fall in love with the detective. "It's okay Liv I think Henry and I can manage for a few hours"

Olivia laughed "I know you can it's just I was so worked up to see him, so you better hold him all you want today because tonight I don't plan on putting him down"

"You've got yourself a deal detective. We're just pulling up so I'll talk to you later. I love you"

"I love you too Alex"

"Hi baby!" Alex almost squealed when Jennifer walked over to her with Henry in her arms. Henry reached out for his Mama and Alex pulled him tight against her. She had left him for longer than they had that morning but he had been with Olivia, it was the first time they left him for more than two hours. "How did he do?"

"He did wonderful. He fussed just a little bit maybe five or ten minutes after you guys left, but he calmed down pretty easily" Alex's face paled slightly at the thought of her son being upset. Jennifer placed a hand on Alex's arm "It's perfectly natural for you to be upset about leaving him, but after that he was smiling and laughing. I have to tell you he's already got the other girls wrapped around his finger"

"He's had me wrapped since the first time I laid eyes on him" Alex said as she stared into Henry's eyes.

After going home and Henry having his afternoon nap he and Alex took a walk around the neighborhood and made a trip to the grocery store. Alex had dinner ready but she and Henry ended up eating alone since Olivia still hadn't left the hospital yet. Alex loved that Henry was now eating she loved having him sit between her and Olivia at the table and feed him as they ate dinner. It was little moments like this when she missed Olivia even more since she had gone back to work.

After putting Henry to bed Alex finished cleaning up the apartment and putting away the laundry. She had planned on cleaning up that afternoon but after being apart from each other Henry seemed to want Alex's attention constantly, and as much as Alex missed him she was happy to oblige. She had just collapsed on the couch when Olivia came through the door. "Hey baby" Alex said as she stood and pulled Olivia in for a kiss.

"Mmm" Olivia sighed "I am so glad to be home" she leaned into Alex allowing her wife to hold her close.

"That bad, huh?" Alex said as she took Olivia's coat off and then led her to the couch.

"Yeah" She snuggled closer to Alex. "The little girl, Sara, she watched her Mom be brutally beaten when her Mom tried to leave her boyfriend. He had been beating her and she knew it was a matter of time before he started on Sara so she was going to leave. He came home sooner than expected and began beating her when he saw she was leaving. Sara managed to escape and run to the neighbors who called us. Alex she was so frightened by what she saw she wouldn't let me leave her until she saw her mother was awake. I'm sorry I was so late"

Alex ran her hand through Olivia's hair "Don't worry about it baby. I'm glad you were there for her" she kissed the top of Olivia's head "I left a plate for you"

"I'm so tired" Olivia said with a yawn.

"Well how about you try and eat a bite and then you and I will take a nice relaxing bath and then go to bed"

"That sounds wonderful" she stood and started toward the bedroom. "I'm just going to change my clothes and kiss the little man goodnight"

After eating a little dinner Alex stood and led Olivia to their bedroom. While she waited for the water to run she went in and gently stripped Olivia before removing her own clothes. She settled in the water then pulled Olivia in to sit in front of her. They sat there in silence for a few minutes allowing the day to wash away. "So how did he do today?" Olivia finally asked.

"He did great according to Jennifer. She said he fussed a little right after we left but that was it. When I got there he did seem happy to see me though" Alex said with a smile.

Olivia pulled Alex's arms tighter around her "That's good, I'm glad he was okay. I still hate leaving him but since he liked it, it makes it a little easier" She was quiet for a minute "Alex can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can baby, you can ask me anything"

"I want to have Elliot over for dinner"

Alex could feel Olivia hold her breath for a minute. "Do you mind if I ask why?"

"Well I just feel like we need to finally clear the air between all of us, he and I are slowly getting our partnership back to where it was and I would like to make sure everything is okay between you two. Besides I kind of feel bad for him, he only sees his kids on weekends. It might do him some good to have company other than when at work"

"Okay"

"Okay?" Olivia asked as she turned so she could see Alex.

"Yeah, I'm okay with it"

Olivia slid her hand behind Alex's head and pulled her down to her for a kiss "I love you" Olivia whispered.

"I love you too" Alex ran her hands along Olivia's arms; she really wanted to start something but she could feel Olivia falling asleep in her arms. She kissed the back of Olivia's head "Come on baby let's get you into bed" Alex stood and wrapped a towel around Olivia and then herself. Once in the bedroom she dried off and slipped a t-shirt on before helping Olivia into one as well. She laid Olivia down and pulled the covers up around her. Alex walked across the hall and quietly slipped into Henry's room. She smiled at the sleeping infant as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead. Once back in their bedroom Alex grabbed the baby monitor from the bathroom and sat it on her bedside table then climbed in and pulled Olivia back against her. She leaned over and gave Olivia a sweet kiss "I love you" she whispered.

"Mmm, I love you too" Olivia moaned out.

Alex smiled and nuzzled her nose against Olivia's neck, inhaling her scent. She felt herself relax as she drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N: Thank you for the reviews, I'm so glad you're enjoying this story. Up next. dinner with Elliot. As always let me know what you think. Enjoy!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Alex leaned against the counter and stared into the living room, watching Elliot play with Henry. As much as she still didn't exactly care for Elliot she couldn't help but feel sorry for him not being able to see his kids every day. Alex felt her heart clinch at the thought of not being able to see Henry every morning when she woke up. To only be able to see her son on the weekends or every other weekend, it was a thought she couldn't even entertain. She had to smile a little at seeing him happy.

"What are you smiling at?" Olivia whispered as she finished preparing the salad.

Alex leaned over against Olivia "I know you don't believe me but I'm glad to see him happy. I can't imagine what it would be like to only see Henry every other weekend"

Olivia slid an arm around Alex's waist "I know and I never want to know what it feels like either"

Alex leaned in and placed a light kiss on Olivia's lips "Well lucky for us we'll never have to know what it feels like"

They enjoyed the pasta dinner that Alex had prepared, while Henry sat in his highchair between his mother's enjoying his own baby food dinner. While the conversation flowed easily there was a slight tension in the air. After dinner they sat and talked while Elliot played with Henry. Alex had to admit things were going better than she had expected but she felt that things were staying that way for Henry's sake. She and Olivia had decided before Henry was born that they would never argue in front of him. While Alex had grown up in a loving home and granted her parents did argue on occasion, it was nothing like the environment Olivia had grown up in. She remembered how it broke her heart when Olivia told her about the yelling and screaming her mother would do, which would leave Olivia to wonder what she had done wrong. She told Alex she would not have her child growing up in an environment like that. While they may have had disagreements in front of Henry they never fought in front of him. After spending some time relaxing Alex took Henry for his bath while Olivia and Elliot talked. Once he was dressed in his pajamas she brought him to Olivia for his final feeding of the night. Alex stood in front of Olivia holding Henry's blanket up until Olivia had him settled and then covered him so Olivia would be covered as well. She was happy to see when she snuck a glance at Elliot he was looking away. Alex had never been the jealous type but when it came to Olivia, sometimes she couldn't help herself. She had just sat down on the arm of the chair next to Olivia and began to relax when Elliot spoke up.

"So what Alex, afraid I'm gonna sneak a peek at Liv?" he said in a sarcastic tone.

Alex felt her body tense but immediately began to relax when she felt Olivia place her hand on her thigh. "Don't even start Elliot" Olivia said in a calm, hushed tone so as not to upset the baby. "This is something private and the only person who has ever witnessed it is Alex. So whether or not she's afraid you'll look, I don't want anyone witnessing this but my wife" she then stood and walked to the nursery with Alex following along behind. "I'm sorry Alex I thought that maybe he had finally moved past all this" Olivia said as she gave Henry a goodnight kiss before passing him to Alex.

Alex rocked Henry a few more minutes to make sure he was asleep before kissing his forehead and laying him down. She pulled Olivia over to the door "There's no need for you to apologize. He made the comment, he's still the one with the problem" She gave Olivia a kiss "I love you"

"I love you too" She looked back over her shoulder at the sleeping baby "I want us to talk but I don't want it to wake him up" she looked Alex in the eyes "I know I might have a hard time keeping my voice under control, but do you think you can remain calm too?"

"You make it sound like I have a bit of a temper detective" Alex said with a grin, which earned her one in return. "I make no promises on what I might say but I will keep my voice down"

Olivia took Alex by the hand and led her back to the living room and took a seat in the chair while Alex resumed her position on the arm next to her. Elliot began to speak but Olivia held her hand up cutting him off "I know there are things we need to discuss but I will not have you raising your voice. You know the kind of childhood I had and I am determined that my son never be exposed to that" Elliot nodded in agreement. "Okay we're willing to hear what you have to say"

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier it was meant as a joke. Maybe it was inappropriate considering how things have been between us but I never meant it the way it was taken. I miss us being able to talk to one another, joke around like we always did"

Alex took a moment to consider what Elliot said, he did seem like he was being sincere. "Elliot you have to understand the reason I was so upset was because things are not like they used to be. If things between us were like they were before Olivia and I were dating then I probably would've laughed it off but not now. Ever since Olivia and I got together you have been against us. I know you say it has nothing to do with your religious beliefs and I believe you, but you need to realize nothing you say is going to change the fact that we are staying together"

"I'm not trying to break you two up if that's what you think" Elliot replied.

"Oh really?" Olivia looked at him accusingly. "Then why did you go to Alex when we first started dating and ask her to break up with me? I know we've been through this but I need an answer"

Elliot hung his head for a moment "Liv you are this kind, warm person and she has always been so cold and detached. I just felt like she wasn't right for you. I didn't want to see you hurt"

"I appreciate you looking out for me Elliot I really do, but how about letting me be the judge of what's right for me"

Alex sat silently listening to the conversation between the two detectives. She was glad they were slowly working through their issues. She felt Olivia squeeze her hand and she immediately knew what Olivia was about to ask.

"Elliot I have to ask" Olivia took a deep breath "Is the reason you didn't want me and Alex together because you have feelings for me?"

"Not in the way Alex has been accusing me. Yes I love you but I also love my wife and kids. I know we're separated but I still love her"

"Alright, now when it comes to your idea that you were going to play daddy to Henry" Elliot slid forward on the couch to speak but once again Olivia cut him off. "I know when you found out I was pregnant you offered to be there and support me through the pregnancy and after. I appreciated that, I really do but you need to understand that Alex and I are his parents. I know you and Alex have discussed this but I need to make sure you understand he already has two parents. While I want you in his life it will be in the same capacity as all our other friends. Are we clear on that?"

A heavy silence hung in the room as Elliot seemed to consider what he was going to say next "Alex what do you have to say?"

"Elliot you and I have had this discussion more than once, this was Olivia's time to have her say and for you to have yours. I back Olivia on everything she says"

Elliot sighed and ran his hands over his face "Okay I'll concede that while I'm not in love with you the way Alex thinks I am, I was jealous when you two started seeing each other. I was used to not having to share you with anyone. You never dated anyone for more than a couple dates so when you two got together I could tell it was serious. God anyone who looked at you two could tell it was serious. Yes like I said I didn't think you two were suited for each other but I guess I should allow you to make your own decisions. However I don't have to like the fact that you're together"

Alex was ready to jump up but she remembered the sleeping baby in the next room. She thought they were finally getting somewhere but evidently she was wrong. She agreed he didn't have to like the fact they were together but he would certainly have to change his attitude if he wanted to be around them at all. Still there was something he was holding back. She looked down at Olivia and could tell she was struggling to keep her emotions in check.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Elliot. While I would never force you to like me and Alex being together you do need to change your attitude toward her. She is my wife and I will not allow you to talk down or look down on her. If you want to have anything to do with me or my son then something needs to change. If you can't at least be civil then we will have no contact outside of work"

"I really want us to get back to where we were a few years ago Liv. I can't promise I'll change but I'll give it a shot"

"That's all I ask Elliot" Olivia replied. She looked at Alex silently asking if she had anything to add.

Alex knew what she wanted to ask she was just afraid of the consequences if she did, and because she was partly afraid of the answer. She looked into Olivia's eyes and squeezed her hand while praying Olivia wouldn't be angry with her. "Elliot I know you said you love your wife and kids, and I believe you. However I still don't quite believe you when you say that you're not in love with Olivia. Now maybe that's just me being jealous now but I can't help it. I knew I was in love with her shortly after we began dating and my time away only made me love her more. Since I have her and Henry I know what it means to be willing to die for someone. If it came down to a choice between my life and hers I would gladly give mine for her" She saw the tears in Olivia's eyes and felt them in her own as well. The reason I'm saying this is because things cannot be back to the way they were until everything is out in the open. I need to know that you're not going to allow your feelings for her to get in the way. I also need to know that you're not going to try and get between us or break us up" Alex was shaking; she couldn't believe she had the nerve to say what she did. She was also surprised she was able to say it without losing her cool.

Elliot jumped to his feet "You little"

Alex jumped up as well "What? Bitch? Is that what you were going to call me? Cause I have to tell you Elliot I really don't think that is any way to talk to your partner's wife"

"Okay yeah, you are being a bitch" Elliot said. Before he knew it Olivia was in his face.

"I believe I told you once before that I will not have you coming into our house and talking to her like that. By the way I would like to hear the answer to Alex's question. Are you in love with me?"

"Okay so what if I am?" Alex and Olivia both stood there shocked. Alex knew it was true she just never expected him to actually admit it. "What if I am in love with you does that change anything?"

"First of all lower your voice" Olivia said in a harsh whisper as she stepped closer to Elliot. "So what, did you think you could have your wife and family at home and lucky Elliot gets to keep Olivia on the side? I'm telling you right now those feelings were never and will never be returned. I still want to be your partner but I need to know if these feelings still exist because I won't have you trying to break my family up"

"Liv I knew a long time ago those feelings wouldn't be returned and I've moved past it. Yes I'll admit when Kathy filed the divorce papers I thought about how maybe I could have a slim chance with you but I knew that would never happen. I knew you would wait till your last day for her to come back"

"I think it's time you leave" Alex said as she walked closer to the door.

Elliot got closer "Just so you know she was mine before she was yours"

Alex saw red in that instant "She was never yours, but she is mine now and for all eternity. It would do you good to remember that"

Olivia stepped closer to them "Elliot until your attitude changes we can be partners but nothing more, we won't socialize outside work until then. Now get out" She allowed Elliot to barely get into the hallway before she closed the door. She had barely turned the lock when she felt Olivia turn her and pin her back against the door. Alex let out a moan when she felt Olivia's lips come crashing down on hers. They made out for several minutes before Olivia pulled back "You realize he probably heard that"

"I hope he did" Olivia said with a laugh

"What was that for anyway?" Alex asked.

"For being you, for loving me, for saying I belong to you" Olivia said as she looked into Alex's eyes.

"I'm sorry for saying that Olivia. You are not property, you belong to no one. You are your own person" Alex said back. While she loved knowing that Olivia was with her and no one else, and she would readily admit that she belonged to Olivia.

"I may be my own person but I most definitely belong to you. I might just go and get a property of Alex Cabot tattoo" Olivia said with a chuckle.

"Henry already has one Mommy with a tattoo; do you really think he needs two?"

Olivia pushed her back up against the door and began placing kisses down her neck "You know I love that tattoo, and I love how possessive you are of me"

"Well it's because I love you" Alex said as she started running her hands under Olivia's shirt and up her sides.

"Then how about you take me to bed and show me how much you love me"

Alex groaned as she took Olivia by the hand and led her to their bedroom.

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**A/N:** I know I made Elliot seem like a bit of jerk in this chapter, and he can be at times, but it was just the direction I wanted the story to go in. Thank you for the reviews I love them! As always let me know what you think. Enjoy!


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I ran into some serious writers block. I know it will seem like this chapter picks up where the last one left off but it has actually skipped ahead about a month. Although I don't have the next chapter started I do have an idea for it. I also plan to skip ahead in time in that one as well. Once again I would like to thank you for the reviews and the follows. I truly appreciate it. Enjoy!

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Chapter 16

Alex sighed as she rolled off Olivia and collapsed onto the mattress. She lay there breathing deeply trying to catch her breath. She slowly turned her head and looked at her wife who was blinking her eyes and struggling to catch her breath. Alex chuckled as she took Olivia's hand and laced their fingers together, pulling her hand up to her lips and kissing it.

"Wha... wha… what are you laughing at?" Olivia asked as she turned her head while still trying to catch her breath.

"You" Olivia gave Alex a confused look. "I just love watching you trying to come down, and the fact that I know I did this to you"

Olivia grinned "Yeah well I don't hear any complaints coming from your side of the bed"

Alex rolled onto her side and kissed Olivia on the cheek "You will never hear any complaints from me baby"

Olivia rolled onto her side so they were facing each other "I love you" she pulled Alex to her for a kiss.

"I love you too" Alex said when they parted. She laughed again "I can't believe Henry slept through that"

"What makes you say that?" Olivia asked as she snuggled closer to Alex.

"Don't act like you don't know, you were pretty loud there at the end detective" Alex said with a coy grin.

Olivia blushed and buried her head against Alex's neck "I wasn't that loud"

"Just keep telling yourself that" Alex replied as she pulled Olivia closer to her. Alex began running her fingers through Olivia's hair and smiled when she felt the older woman begin to drift off to sleep. Olivia had been pulling doubles lately and tonight was the first night in almost a week she had been home in time to have dinner and help put Henry to bed. Alex lay thinking about the last few weeks since their blowup with Elliot. After that night Olivia asked the captain to give her a new partner. When he asked why she told him that until Elliot could change his attitude about her and Alex's relationship she couldn't work with him. Cragen told Olivia he would pair her with another detective in the unit on a trial basis. While Olivia did get along well with her new partner she still had to work around Elliot. She was civil and professional but Elliot still found ways to make snide comments and give her pointed looks.

Alex moaned lightly when she felt Olivia snuggle closer and press their naked bodies together. Alex let her thoughts drift back to the day Olivia decided she could no longer work with Elliot. _It was a couple days after Thanksgiving and Alex had just picked Henry up from daycare. She decided to make a surprise trip to the precinct and see if Olivia would be able to grab lunch. She walked into the squad room with Henry on her hip. She was immediately greeted by Munch. "Alex" he looked down at Henry "And mini Olivia. What brings you two here?"_

"_Well I just picked Henry up and we decided to see if Mommy would be up for lunch"_

"_Mommy is most definitely up for lunch" Olivia said as she came out of the captain's office. She walked over and gave Alex a quick kiss before taking Henry from her. Henry looked up at his Mommy and gave Olivia a huge smile showing off his tooth that had just come in. "How's Mommy's little man today?"_

_While Olivia finished up her paperwork Alex and Henry visited with Cragen and the rest of the guys. As they were waiting on the elevator Alex had her arm around Olivia's waist and was playing with Henry who was in Olivia's arms. When the elevator door opened they were both surprised to be face to face with Elliot. Alex subconsciously tightened her grip on Olivia. "Hello Elliot" she said as they stepped aside allowing Elliot to get off the elevator._

"_Alex, Olivia, Henry" he said, slightly smiling when he looked at Henry. Alex thought they had successfully made it through their first encounter. She was stepping on the elevator when she heard Elliot's voice "God Alex you that worried you have to check up on her at work?" Elliot probably thought he said it low enough for Alex not to hear but she did._

"_What did you just say?" Alex asked as she held her hand against the door keeping it from closing._

"_Alex please don't" Olivia begged._

_Olivia's plea was the only thing keeping her from storming off the elevator and getting in Elliot's face. She took a deep breath and stepped back. The door was about to close when he spoke up again, louder this time "That's what I thought"_

_This time there was no holding back "No I'm not checking up on her, I trust her more than anyone in the world. You however are a different story. I came to have lunch with my wife, don't get mad because yours never wanted to" she turned and stepped back into the elevator. Olivia was leaning her head back against the wall while Henry looked around a little unsure of what just happened. Alex placed a kiss on Olivia's cheek and put her hand on Henry's back "Liv baby I'm so sorry. I should've kept my mouth shut"_

"_No it's okay Alex; it's not your fault"_

_Olivia was quiet the rest of the way down to the car. As Alex drove to one of their favorite restaurants she was grateful for Henry babbling in the backseat to ease the tension. She looked over at Olivia while they sat at a red light "Olivia what's wrong? Please talk to me"_

"_I can't keep doing this Alex" Olivia said with a sigh._

_Once Alex pulled into the parking lot she looked over at Olivia "You can't keep doing what?" she asked in a nervous tone._

_Olivia leaned her head back against the seat "I can't keep going to work wondering when things will finally be back to normal with Elliot. I love my job and my new partner is nice and he's a good cop, but I just don't know anymore"_

"_Are you saying you want to leave the force?" Alex asked a little surprised._

"_No I'm not saying anything like that. I'm just saying I can't take the way he's acting anymore. I mean I can't even have my wife and son stop by and surprise me at work without him saying something. I would've at least thought he could keep his mouth shut in front of everyone, in front of Henry especially"_

"_So what are you saying?" Alex asked as she reached over and took Olivia's hand._

"_The captain in computer crimes said she would love to have me back if I ever changed my mind and I know there is at least one opening in that unit"_

_Alex had to bite back the smile that was threating to break out. While she knew Olivia loved SVU and that was where she was truly meant to be, she couldn't help but be excited that Olivia might change units. At least in computer crimes she wasn't on the street, there would be no late night call outs and very few if any days on end spent at the precinct. However Olivia lived for being in the field and she knew her wife could only sit behind a desk for so long but Alex was willing to support her no matter what her decision. "Well it's your call Olivia. I just want you to know that I will support you no matter what you decide"_

_After lunch Olivia called the captain in computer crimes and expressed interest in coming back, once she had been assured there was a position open for her she talked to Cragen. Casey, who happened to be at the precinct checking on a case, watched Henry long enough for the two of them to explain to the captain why she made the decision she did. While they didn't give him all the details they told him enough for him to understand why she made her decision. He even offered to talk to Elliot and when Olivia said no he then offered to transfer Elliot. Once again Olivia said no stating that at the time she felt this was the right decision for her and her family. At the end of the week Olivia cleared her desk and moved back to computer crimes._

Alex began to wake up when she felt a weight on her chest. She smiled when she opened her eyes and saw Henry lying on her chest and Olivia beside her "Good morning handsome" she said as she raised up and kissed her son. She laughed when Henry gave her his version of a kiss; which was basically him placing his mouth on their cheeks and slobbering on them. She struggled to sit up with Henry while still holding the sheet up to cover herself. She thanked Olivia when she took the baby and sat him between them. She reached over into the floor and picked up her shirt that had been hastily discarded the night before. "You have a big day ahead of you little man" Henry looked up from the toy he was playing with and smiled at his Mama like he knew what she was saying.

Olivia leaned over and placed a kiss on Alex's cheek "So what time do we have to be at Bill and Gail's?"

"She said we can get there whenever we like but dinner is being served at five" They had been invited to Christmas Eve dinner with Bill and Gail along with Sherry and her husband and kids. They had also been invited to come back for brunch on Christmas day but she and Olivia had decided that since it was Henry's first Christmas they wanted to spend the day at home as a family.

After breakfast Olivia finished wrapping the gifts for Bill and Gail, and the gifts they had purchased for Sherry's kids, while Alex began fixing the desert she had offered to bring. When she was done she walked into the living room and smiled as she watched Olivia and Henry. They were curled up on the couch and watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. She walked in and leaned over the back of the couch and placed a kiss on the top of Olivia's head. "Enjoying your cartoons?" she said with a smirk.

"Henry wanted to watch it" Olivia said with a grin.

"I bet he did" Alex said as she walked around and sat down beside her wife on the couch. Never in her life did she imagine she would be sitting on the couch watching a Christmas cartoon with her wife and son. She wouldn't have it any other way. She leaned over to Henry and whispered just loud enough for Olivia to hear "Rudolph's always been my favorite too"

"Alex we're gonna be late" Olivia called out from the living room.

"No we're not just give me five more minutes" Alex was trying to get Henry into his Christmas outfit but he had other ideas. "I know baby, I know you want to play but we have to go see Nanny and Grandpa" Alex loved how her aunt and uncle had taken Henry as their grandson. They treated him the same as their own grandchildren, spoiled him just as much as they did them and insisted that he call them Nanny and Grandpa. "Okay Mommy we're ready to roll" Alex said as she and Henry entered the living room. Alex felt her jaw drop when she saw Olivia; she was wearing a black short sleeve dress with her hair down. Alex had always thought she would want Olivia to keep her hair short but since she had let it grow out since Henry was born Alex grew to love her hair long and hoped she kept it that way. "You are gorgeous" Alex whispered as she took Olivia's hand and kissed it.

"Lookin pretty hot yourself counselor" Olivia held Alex's hand as she stepped back to look at her wife. Alex was wearing a dress that was similar to Olivia's only hers was a deep red. Olivia looked down at Henry "And look how handsome my little man is" Henry was wearing the same outfit that he wore when they had their Christmas pictures taken. Alex had dressed him in a pair of black pants with a red sweater. "I swear once again you have managed to turn us into one of those families who color coordinate their outfits"

After spending a couple hours with their extended family Alex and Olivia returned home loaded down with leftovers and gifts. Alex took Henry to the bathroom for his bath. This was one of her favorite parts of the day. Since he was now sitting up and playing bath time had become fun for him, and it usually meant by the time it was over Alex and Olivia were soaked as well. After bath time they spent a little while curled up on the couch with the only light coming from the Christmas tree. Henry had become fascinated with the tree and though he wasn't crawling yet he was scooting. He would manage to get himself right next to the tree when one of his mother's would pick him up. They always laughed at the frustrated look he would have on his face. After he was down for the night Alex and Olivia remained on the couch for a while longer. Alex was surprised when she felt Olivia push her down on the couch and lower herself down on top of her. She smiled as Olivia leaned in and pressed their lips together. It was slow and loving and Alex could feel Olivia's love for her through the kiss. Alex smiled at Olivia as she pulled back "I love you"

Olivia ran her hands through Alex's hair "I love you too" she whispered before leaning in again. Alex wasn't sure how long they had been making out when Olivia pulled back "Ready to go to bed?"

"Yeah" Alex replied before getting up. They went and checked on Henry one last time before finally climbing into bed. While in a way Alex wanted to continue what had been started on the couch she knew both she and Olivia were barely keeping their eyes open. Their activities the night before had kept them up late into the night and they were feeling it now. Once in bed Alex curled up behind Olivia and held her tight.

"Merry Christmas buddy" Alex said as she picked Henry up from his crib. It never ceased to amaze Alex how happy her son was every morning, especially considering Olivia was like her and wasn't a morning person. Even though she had spent years getting up sometimes before dawn on Olivia's days off she always tried to sleep in if possible. However now with a baby who was awake by seven every morning they rarely slept in. Alex often joked that Henry's donor must have been a morning person since he definitely didn't get it from Olivia.

After feeding Henry and having the cinnamon rolls Alex had prepared the day before the family went into the living room to open their gifts. They all three sat in the floor around the tree, both ladies laughed at the amount of gifts. While they had purchased several gifts for one another the amount of gifts for Henry far outnumbered theirs. Henry didn't quite get the concept of opening his gifts and Alex and Olivia took turns helping him. When he did pull the paper off a gift he would laugh every time, laughing so hard one time that he fell over. This only caused Alex and Olivia to laugh harder. A morning of opening gifts seemed to wear Henry out. Alex couldn't help herself from taking pictures of her son who had passed out in the pile of wrapping paper that he had been playing with. She sat on the couch enjoying a cup of coffee with Olivia lying in her lap. "If he had this much fun at seven months old can you imagine how much fun he'll have next year?"

Olivia laughed "I know! I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard" Olivia sat up and held the new necklace around her neck "Thank you for my gifts"

"You're welcome and thank you for mine" They purchased more gifts for each other this year than they did the year before, but most of the gifts were Henry's. Alex received several new books for her collection along with a new outfit and a gift certificate for a manicure/pedicure, and just like the year before Olivia had snuck in new lingerie. Alex had purchased for Olivia a new leather jacket, a new watch along with a book she had mentioned she would like to read a necklace and of course some new lingerie. They had joked that would be a standard Christmas gift every year but both admitted it was a gift that would have to be kept and opened when Henry wasn't around.

"So this necklace" Olivia said as she continued to play with the necklace "I get our birthstones but what about the others?"

Alex smiled and scooted closer "Well it has mine and yours birthstone along with Henry's. This one" she said pointing to one stone "Is the birthstone for the month I came back and the one next to it is for the month we were married. The plain stones" Alex took a deep breath before continuing since what she was about to say had never been discussed "Are placeholders for any other birthstones we may want to add" She sat quietly for a moment unsure of what Olivia was going to say.

"Any other birthstones? So you've thought about us having more children?"

"Yeah"

Olivia nodded and then looked Alex in the eye and smiled "I have too"

Alex was excited she had been so afraid that Olivia wouldn't want more children. "Really?" Olivia nodded. Alex threw her arms around Olivia and pulled her in for a hug. "I'm not meaning anytime soon I'm really enjoying it just being the three of us, but maybe we can talk about it at least?"

"That sounds good I don't want to rush anything, like you I'm enjoying it just being us. So what do you say we talk about it but not make any decisions until after he's a year old?"

"Sounds like a plan detective"

After a quiet day at home Henry's first Christmas had come and gone. Alex prepared lunch and afterwards they sat in the floor and played with their son and his new toys. Late that afternoon Casey stopped by with her gifts, Henry played while his mother's and Casey visited. All the excitement of the day had caused Henry to fall asleep early. Usually he would've been put to bed but they decided to put him down in his playpen while they curled up on the couch for a tradition they had begun the year before, watching It's a Wonderful Life.

When the movie was over they put Henry to bed and then finally crawled in bed themselves. Alex lay down and Olivia curled up against her with her head on her chest. Alex ran her fingers through Olivia's hair while Olivia had her hand under Alex's shirt lightly running her fingers over her stomach. "You're not working New Years are you?"

"No, why?" Olivia asked as she raised her head up to look at Alex.

"Well I was just thinking since New Year's falls on a Friday and you have the following weekend off we could head up to the Hamptons. Henry hasn't been yet and they set off fireworks out over the ocean and we have a perfect view from Mom's house"

Olivia grinned "Hmm, the Hamptons for New Years? I think it sounds great, although I think you might have a hard time topping last year"

Alex chuckled remembering when she proposed the year before. "I may not be able to top last year but the plans I have for you once Henry goes to sleep will come pretty close" she gave Olivia a mischievous grin then gave her a searing kiss. Alex laid her head back and smiled to herself when she heard Olivia groan at what she said.

"This is gonna be a long week" Olivia said as she nuzzled her head against Alex's chest and fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: I jumped ahead in time a little in this chapter. I also threw out a few hints at what may be coming down the road for the ladies. Thank you for the follows and reviews. I know I say this a lot but it truly means a lot to me. This is a story that I wasn't even sure anyone would be interested in and here it is seventeen chapters later, ninety follows and eighty seven reviews later. I am truly grateful. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

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Chapter 17

"Happy Birthday dear Henry, Happy Birthday to you" the small crowd of friends and family sang. "Go ahead baby blow out your candle" Olivia said as she leaned down next to him. Henry looked back and forth at his mommies who were leaning down next to him. He looked back at the candle on his cake and then back to Alex and Olivia, almost as if he was asking 'What do I do?' Olivia looked back up at Alex "Should we give him a hand?"

"Yeah" Alex said with a smile. They leaned in and blew the candle out causing Henry to laugh and clap along with his guests. After a few pictures were taken Alex stood and turned her head for a moment to wipe the tears from her eyes. She had caught herself crying several times in the days leading up to Henry's first birthday. She didn't feel as bad when that morning she caught Olivia crying as well.

They had decided to have a party in the park and had invited Cragen along with Munch, Fin and Casey. Of course Bill and Gail as well as Sherry and her children were there. They also invited a couple neighbors from their building that Olivia was friends with and a few kids Henry's age from daycare. Elliot had also been invited and he did stop by for a few minutes to give Henry's gift to Olivia. Alex eyed him carefully but luckily he avoided her like the plague. After cutting the cake they gave Henry his own little cake. He stared at it for a minute before carefully sticking his finger in it and tasting the icing he looked up "mmm"

"Is it good buddy?" Alex asked.

He smashed his hand into the cake and put a handful in his mouth then began laughing. After a couple hours of laughing and playing Henry was out like a light. The adults sat around talking while the children played. "So girls when can we expect an addition to the family?" Gail asked.

Bill turned to his wife "Gail don't pressure them I'm sure when and if they decide to have another you will be one of the first to know"

Alex leaned over to Olivia and whispered "Do you think now's a good time?"

Olivia grinned "Yeah"

The group was down to just Cragen and Casey and Alex's family "Well we do have an announcement to make"

Everyone looked at them with anticipation "Well?" Gail asked.

"We're moving" Alex said. She and Olivia busted out laughing at the looks on their faces. Once Alex quit laughing she looked at everyone "Well?"

Gail was the first to speak "Well what? What kind of announcement is that? I was expecting you to say you two were going to have another baby"

"That's why we did it that way" Olivia said while laughing.

"You're not moving far are you?" Casey asked.

"No we found a house in Riverdale. We just closed so it'll still be a while before we make the actual move but we needed a bigger place"

"So you are planning on having more kids" Gail asked excitedly. It was more a statement than a question.

Alex rolled her eyes she loved her aunt dearly but she was very persistent "Okay yes we have discussed having more children but we haven't made a decision yet. Olivia and I are both an only child and we want Henry to have siblings we're just enjoying our time with him now. We'll know when the time is right"

After spending the better part of the afternoon at the park the family finally headed home. Henry's nap seemed to recharge him completely which made for a very busy evening for his mommies. Alex was fixing dinner when she felt something hitting her leg. She looked down and smiled at Henry who was standing next to her. It amazed her how well he was walking. He had begun crawling on New Year's Day and was walking at eleven months old. He reached his little arms up "Mama"

Alex grinned and leaned down to pick him up "What's my big boy doing?" He smiled back at her then laid his head on her shoulder and snuggled close to her. Alex loved the fact that he had always liked to cuddle, it was just another thing he had in common with Olivia. It had surprised Alex that Olivia liked to cuddle as much as she did, especially after making love, she would either curl herself tight against Alex or pull Alex's arms tight around her. She remembered the first time he said their names and the first time he walked.

_Alex was rushing around the apartment trying to finish getting their bags packed. It was their anniversary and they were heading to her aunt's home on Martha's Vineyard where they honeymooned. Olivia was only working half a shift so they could head up early and Alex wanted to have everything ready when she arrived home. She was in their bedroom when she heard Henry's little hands slapping against the floor as he crawled into the room. He sat on his knees and held his arms up in the air "Mama" he said with a smile._

_Alex dropped the shirt she was folding and stared down at the blue eyed version of Olivia "What did you say?" He smiled like he knew what she was asking "Did you just say Mama?" _

_Henry grinned "Mama"_

_Alex bent down and scooped her son into her arms "That's right buddy I'm Mama" She sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed her phone and dialed the number she knew by heart._

"_Cabot" Olivia said as she answered her phone._

_Alex grinned she would never get tired of hearing Olivia refer to herself as a Cabot. Sometimes she would even call Olivia just to hear her say it. "Hey baby you will never guess what Henry just did"_

"_What?" Olivia asked. Alex felt bad for Olivia she could almost hear the sadness in her wife's voice at missing a milestone in their son's life._

"_He just called me Mama" Alex said while trying to keep the tears out of her voice._

"_Oh my gosh sweetie that's great!"_

"_You're not mad he said my name first?"_

"_No, no I'm not mad. I do wish I had been there to hear it myself but no I'm not mad. Besides I kinda figured he would say your name first since Mama is easier to say than Mommy"_

_They talked for a few more minutes, mainly Alex trying to coax Henry into saying it again for Olivia to hear with no luck. Later after they were finished packing the car Olivia buckled Henry into his seat just as she was about to shut the door he called out to her "Mumum" _

_Olivia and Alex look over the car at each other in surprise. They quickly leaned back into the backseat "What was that baby?" Olivia asked._

"_Mumum, Mumum" Henry said while clapping his hands._

"_Oh my God he said both our names in the same day!" Olivia exclaimed. After that day 'Mama' and 'Mumum' became popular words in the Cabot home._

A few weeks later he had another surprise for them.

_They had just arrived home from having Easter lunch with Bill and Gail, after changing Henry out of his dress clothes Alex sat him in the floor to play while she changed. She was just about to change when Olivia began yelling for her "Alex! Alex grab the camera and get in here!"_

_Alex didn't even take time to get dressed. She grabbed the camera from the dresser where it had been left the night before when she had been videoing Henry while in the bath. She ran into the living room in just her bra and panties. "What's going on?"_

_Olivia didn't even bother to look up; she continued to stare at her son "I think he's about to walk"_

_Alex turned the camera on and cautiously stepped around the couch where Henry was holding onto the edge of the coffee table debating whether or not to let go. She stood behind Olivia who was on her knees holding her arms out. "Come on baby, come to Mommy" Olivia said in a calm, even tone._

_Henry smiled and took another step so he was barely holding onto the edge of the table "Mumum" he said while reaching his other hand out. He looked past Olivia at Alex "Mama"_

_Alex grinned as she crouched down in the floor next to Olivia "Come to Mommy and Mama buddy" He carefully let go of the table and when he realized he wasn't going to fall he took a cautious step forward. He kept his eyes on Olivia and took another step. "Oh my God he's doing it" Alex whispered, never taking the camera off her son. He took a few more steps before finally collapsing into Olivia's arms with a laugh. Alex couldn't help the tears that were falling her baby was growing up so fast. "Good job buddy!" she said as she leaned over and kissed him on the forehead._

"_I'm so proud of you!" Olivia said as she held him tight. She looked over at Alex for the first time since she called her name. Her mouth dropped open "You mean while our son was taking his first steps you were sitting her in your underwear?"_

_Alex looked down at her state of near undress "I've never heard any complaints before" she said with a smirk "Besides it's not like he knows"_

_Olivia kissed her on the cheek "No but I can't wait till he's older and we show him this and I tell him his Mama was nearly naked while filming it"_

Later that night after putting Henry to bed Alex curled up on the couch with Olivia who was looking at pictures from the day. Alex pulled Olivia down so that she was laying with her head in her lap. She took the picture Olivia had in her hand "I think this is my favorite" Alex said as she held up a picture that Casey had taken; Henry was sitting in his highchair smiling at the camera with Alex and Olivia on either side leaning in and kissing his cheek.

Alex looked around the living room that was filled with old toys as well as new toys he had received that day. "As much as I hate to leave this place I think it's a good thing we're moving to a house. We're quickly running out of room"

"Isn't that the truth" Olivia said as she looked around the room. She looked up at Alex "So what about Gail's question today that we barely dodged?"

"Are you referring to the question of when we're going to have more kids?" Olivia nodded. "You know exactly where I stand on the subject. I am more than ready if you are"

Olivia smiled "I am but I think we should at least wait until after we're completely moved"

"I think that would be best too"

Olivia took Alex's hand and squeezed it "Are you sure about the way you want to do it?"

Alex smiled as she ran her fingers through Olivia's hair "I am but only if you are"

"While I'm a little surprised, I am okay with it" she said as she pulled Alex's hand to her lips and kissed it.

Alex released the breath she had been holding. She had worried that Olivia had changed her mind and wouldn't want to go through with her idea but she was so happy when Olivia agreed. They had been discussing if and when they would have more kids. Alex said she wanted to carry she wanted to know what it was like to be pregnant. Olivia agreed because she wasn't sure she could safely carry again since she was getting older. They had also agreed that they wanted to have at least one more but possibly even two. Alex had a request however that surprised Olivia, she wanted to use one of Olivia's eggs and carry her baby. It was something they discussed quite a bit but eventually Alex won out and Olivia agreed. They had even gone through the necessary tests and both had been cleared they were just waiting until after they moved to go forward with the process.

They sat there in silence for a little longer. Alex stared down at Olivia who was still lying on her lap with her eyes closed, while she absent mindedly ran her fingers under Olivia's shirt. She smiled when she heard Olivia moan. Alex looked down and laughed to herself, she hadn't realized how far up Olivia's abdomen she had gotten. She decided to tease her wife a little. Alex lightly ran her fingers along the underside of Olivia's breast, which elicited a moan from her once again. Alex continued to run light circles over Olivia's stomach and eventually worked her way down to the edge of the pajama shorts she was wearing. Alex heard Olivia sigh; she grinned and slid her fingertips just under the hem of Olivia's shorts.

Olivia's breath hitched and she grabbed Alex's hand and stopped it from going further. "You better plan on carrying through with this teasing"

Alex leaned down and kissed her passionately "Oh I plan on carrying through with this, along with other things" she pushed Olivia off her lap and stood, taking her hand and pulling her toward the bedroom. "I plan on having you asking for more and begging for mercy" Alex said with a predatory grin.

Alex smiled when she saw Olivia slightly stumble and her eyes widen "God Alex you're gonna kill me"

"Yeah but like you've said, what a way to go" Alex said as she shut the door before pushing her wife down on the bed.

It was in the early morning hours when Alex was woken by a thud and then an ear piercing wail coming through the baby monitor. In fact the cry was so loud she would've heard it without the monitor. She sat up in bed "Olivia!"

"What happened?" Olivia asked as they both ran toward their bedroom door.

They could hear Henry screaming from his bedroom and even though it was just a few feet from their bedroom it felt like it was taking forever to get to him. As Alex entered the nursery she froze, her hand flew to her mouth and she began to cry. Henry was lying on the floor beside his crib screaming. "Oh my God!" She fell to the floor beside him wanting to pull him into her arms but at the same time afraid to touch him for fear of hurting him. "Liv what do we do? What if he's broke something?" She could see Olivia was crying too but unlike her Olivia was trained in some first aid and she was also trained to stay calm in a bad situation. However she had never been in a situation involving her own child.

Olivia was looking him over "Well he's moving around so I don't think he broke anything, and his bones are softer than ours since their still forming so I doubt anything is broke" She picked him up carefully and he leaned into her. "Alex get dressed we're taking him to the hospital"

Alex ran to the bedroom and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and put her hair up in a messy ponytail. Once dressed she met Olivia in the nursery where she was quickly getting his diaper bag together "Here I'll take him while you get ready" Alex said while taking the still crying infant. She kept looking him over looking for any sign of an injury. When Olivia was dressed they grabbed their purses and the diaper bag and ran out the door.

Once in the car Olivia was going to drive but Henry kept calling out for her. Alex jumped into the driver's seat while Olivia got in the back to try and calm him. Luckily they lived near the hospital so it was a short trip but no matter what time of night there was always traffic in Manhattan. Alex tried to calm herself down but with little luck, all she could think about was what if something was wrong with her son. What if he was injured somehow, she worried even more that he could possibly have a head injury. She tried her best to figure out how he got out but couldn't.

Luckily the ER wasn't as busy as it could be considering it was in NYC and it was the weekend and they didn't have to wait very long to be sent back. Henry had finally calmed down a little bit but was still whimpering, he was looking at Alex "Mama, Mama" he said in a tearful voice.

Alex took him from Olivia when he reached out for her "It's okay buddy, you're going to be okay" She cradled him against her but trying to be easy still unsure of his injuries. "Liv how in the world did he end up on the floor?"

Olivia ran her hands through her hair "I don't know. I mean he's been trying to climb so maybe he woke up and was playing and just decided that he would try and climb up and get out. I really don't know how he did it"

Alex nodded, she had noticed that he seemed to try and climb on everything. Just a few days before she caught him trying to climb onto the coffee table. She also had another thought running through her mind and she decided to ask Olivia "Liv?" Olivia looked up from watching the baby "What if they suspect child abuse?"

Olivia's eyes widened "Alex what are you talking about?"

"Well we both know how it works from the hospital as well as the legal side of things but right now we're on the parent's side of the situation. What if they think we hurt him? What if they think we were negligent in some way? Olivia I don't want someone investigating us and I damn sure won't allow someone to try and take him away" Alex said while tears were threating to spill again.

Olivia wrapped her arm around Alex's shoulder "Sweetie accidents happen all the time. No one is going to try and take him away" she leaned in whispered in her ear "And just like you there is no way I would ever allow someone to even try too"

They looked up when the door opened and a young man walked in "Hello I'm Dr. Wells" he said as he extended his hand to both of them. "Which one of you is Mrs. Cabot?"

"That would be both of us" Alex said "I'm Alex and this is my wife Olivia" she said as they both shook hands with the doctor.

"Nice to meet you and this big guy must be Henry" he said as he looked at the child in Alex's arms. Alex nodded and sat him down on the table. He looked up at both of them unsure of what was going on. Olivia sat down on the bed behind him while Alex ran her hand over his back "It's okay buddy. The doctor just wants to make sure you're okay"

Dr. Wells looked over the chart "So I see Henry had a fall, can you tell me exactly happened?"

Alex looked at Olivia silently asking which one was going to speak. Olivia took a deep breath "We don't really know how it happened. We were in bed asleep and woke up when we heard a thud come across the baby monitor and then Henry screaming. When we got into his room he was laying on the floor beside his crib. He's been walking for about a month and he's started trying to climb, we're guessing he tried to climb on his crib and fell out"

Dr. Wells nodded as he continued to check Henry out "That's not a surprise for a baby his age; I think his chart said he's twelve months old?"

"Yes, yesterday was his first birthday" Alex replied.

"Poor guy, tough way to spend the day after your birthday" Dr. Wells said. "By any chance have you lowered the mattress in his crib?"

Both ladies looked at one another "No we haven't, I didn't even realize it would go lower" Olivia said.

"Most of them will. You should probably look at it; I would be willing to bet it'll go down one more level. That way it'll be more difficult for him to try and climb out. I'm sure you don't like the idea of putting him in a toddler bed this early but if his crib won't lower any then you might have too" Alex nodded and made a mental note to check his crib first thing when they got home. Once he was finished checking Henry over he looked up "Okay I don't think we have anything to worry about but I want to do an x-ray just to be on the safe side" Both ladies began to tear up "Don't worry I'm just doing this as a precautionary measure. He does have a little bump here on his head and I'd say he'll have a bruise in a day or so but I don't see anything to make me believe he has a serious injury. If you're worried about cost x-rays are covered by insurance"

"Money is no object" Alex said as she looked the doctor in the eye "We just want to make sure he's okay"

Dr. Wells nodded "Okay well I will go put the order in for the x-ray and someone will be in shortly to get him"

"Can we go with him?" Olivia asked.

"Absolutely"

No sooner than the doctor left a nurse came to take them to radiology. Olivia picked Henry up and the followed the nurse down the hall. The x-ray tech asked a few questions about Henry's medical history before putting him on the table "Before we begin I need to ask is there a chance either of you are pregnant?"

Alex and Olivia looked at each other and burst out laughing "No there's no chance of that"

The few noises the machine made seemed to scare Henry and it took both his mommies to keep him calm. Once they were done Olivia started to pick him up but Henry turned to face Alex and held his arms up "Mama" By the time they reached the room again he was reaching for Olivia "Mumum" Olivia smiled and reached over and took him from Alex, they quickly recognized he was trying to play one of his favorite games which was being passed back and forth between the two.

Twenty minutes later Dr. Wells returned to the room "Good news! His x-rays were clear and I see no sign of any other injuries"

Alex sighed and wiped her eyes to stop the tears that were about to fall "Oh thank God"

Olivia spoke up "What about the bump on his head?"

"It's okay it's just your standard bump on the head. I wouldn't be surprised if it was gone before the end of the day but don't be concerned if he has a bruise for a few days"

"What about sleeping or laying down? I've heard before that if someone hits their head you're to keep them awake for a while" Alex asked.

The doctor looked at his watch "It's almost six, what time does he normally wake up?"

"Between six and seven but usually closer to seven"

"Does he normally take a morning nap or just an afternoon nap?"

"He sleeps for a couple hours every afternoon. Sometimes he takes a morning nap sometimes he doesn't it just depends. Since he woke us up about four thirty I'm certain he'll take a nap this morning" Alex said.

"I recommend you keep him awake for at least a couple more hours and then if he wants to take a nap let him. I do want you to keep an eye on him, I'm not trying to scare you I'm just being cautious. If he starts acting out of the ordinary or lethargic bring him back immediately" He looked at Henry who was sitting on Olivia's lap then reached down took his hand "You made it through your first big fall" He looked up at Alex and Olivia "All three of you did, and unfortunately Mom's there's going to be a lot more to come" he chuckled as their face fell "Welcome to parenthood, especially when you have a little boy. I have a son who's five and we've had him to the ER three times just for injuries so be prepared" He laughed "Little boys tend to look at every situation and think 'How can I make this more dangerous?'"

As they drove back home Olivia called her captain to explain that she wouldn't be in that day. They spent the next few hours trying to keep Henry awake and by mid-morning they decided it would be safe to allow him to go to sleep, but only after they checked his crib and lowered the mattress as low as it would go. After watching him sleep for a while they finally crawled back in bed "It's been a long time since we had a night where only got a couple hours sleep" Alex said as she curled her body behind Olivia's and pulled her wife tight against her.

Olivia pulled Alex's arms tight around her and then kissed one of her hands "That's true but you were the one who had me pinned to the bed" she said with a laugh.

Alex laughed while placing a kiss on her neck "Well you did pin me down a couple times but you were the one who was begging for more"

"Yeah, yeah blame me" they lay there silent for a few minutes "So are we ready for this? Especially having more?"

"I will admit when we walked in that room and saw him on the floor" Alex was quiet for a minute "I don't think I've ever been so scared, and that includes the time right before I was shot, when I was shot and witness protection. Just the thought that something could've happened to my baby…" she trailed off "I don't even want to imagine"

Olivia pushed herself back tighter against Alex "I know I've faced many scary situations. The worst was that night you were laying on the pavement and I was watching you die; this was the only thing that remotely came close to that moment. You didn't answer my question though"

Alex nuzzled her nose in Olivia's hair and inhaled the scent that never failed to calm her and make her feel safe. "I am more than sure that I want to have more kids. Kids and accidents are something that go hand in hand and we'll just have to accept that" She kissed Olivia's neck one more time "We can get through anything as long as we're together" She leaned over and gave Olivia one last kiss before settling down and drifting off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Alex pulled the covers higher over her head trying to block out what little light was coming through the windows. Her headache seemed to just be getting worse no matter what she did. She was grateful when she heard Olivia enter their bedroom "Alex, sweetie are you feeling any better?" the brunette whispered.

"No" the sound of her own voice seemed to make her head pound even more. She winced when she felt the bed dip under Olivia's weight.

Olivia slid in bed beside her and placed a kiss to her forehead "No fever at least" she took the washcloth she had brought from the bathroom and began gently running it over Alex's face "Does this help?"

"A little" Alex replied as she allowed Olivia to pull her closer. They lay there in silence for a bit hoping Olivia's efforts would soothe her headache. "What's Henry doing I haven't heard him for a while?"

"He finally went down for a nap. I'm sorry he was making so much noise that's why I finally took him outside so maybe he wouldn't bother you"

"Don't worry about it besides he's a sixteen month old little boy, he's going to make noise" Alex attempted a laugh at her own joke but she groaned when she realized it was a mistake. She attempted to open her eyes and was grateful when she realized Olivia had burrowed herself under the covers as well. "Liv did you have headaches like this when you were pregnant?"

"I had headaches but no they were never this severe" she pulled Alex closer "I really think you should go to the hospital"

"No it'll pass. Will you hold me?"

"Always" Olivia said as she rolled onto her back and pulled Alex against her, once Alex rested her head on her chest Olivia began running her fingers through her hair.

Alex sighed as she felt her body begin to relax. She thought to herself that if this is how pregnancy was going to be the next seven and a half months were going to be miserable. Her mind drifted over the last few months. About a month after Henry's birthday they had moved into their new home, it was a perfect home for a growing family. They had fallen in love with it the minute they saw it and it slightly reminded Alex of the home she grew up in. It was a large two story home with a front porch and nice size front yard; it also had a large backyard and a swimming pool. Olivia had joked the swimming pool alone was worth buying it, she had been on the swim team in high school and still loved to swim just rarely found time to do so. The inside had a large living room, kitchen, dining room, study and a family room. The upstairs had three bedrooms plus a master bedroom and bath, along with another bathroom upstairs and a half bath downstairs. As much as they loved their new home they were pretty sure Henry loved it most. He was used to having their small apartment to run around in, now he had full access to the downstairs to run and play. Alex had even found him passed out in the middle of the floor a couple times exhausted from running around.

About a month after the move they returned to the same clinic that Olivia had used when she had gotten pregnant. They had also decided to use the same donor as she had for Henry so their children would at least have that connection. They were also still going ahead with the plan of Alex using one of Olivia's eggs. Alex had pointed out that if they had another that was biologically hers using a donor who resembled her would most likely result in a child looking just like her. Olivia had laughed and said she hoped that would be the case since they had a miniature version of her in Henry, she would love to have a mini Alex running around. Although Alex's procedure was more complicated than the one Olivia had she couldn't imagine how Olivia had gotten through it all alone. Olivia sitting next to her holding her hand was the only thing holding her together. An agonizing two weeks later she was able to take a pregnancy test, it was positive. They laughed and cried, and the love they made afterwards was one of the most emotional moments they had ever shared. And here they were a month later and Alex was six weeks pregnant. It had also been a rough month, especially with morning sickness luckily they had remembered that crackers and ginger ale before bed had worked for Olivia and it also worked for Alex.

She was brought back to the present when she felt a sharp stabbing pain in her lower abdomen. "What's wrong?" Olivia asked when Alex winced and inhaled sharply.

"Stomach cramp" Alex said as she curled up tighter against Olivia.

Olivia gently removed herself from Alex's grip "Let me go get you the heating pad. Sometimes when I had cramps early on it helped to put one on my stomach" She made a quick trip to the bathroom and came back with the heating pad and laid it on Alex's stomach. "Does that feel better?" she asked after putting it on Alex's stomach.

"A little" She fell back asleep and they stayed in bed until dinner time and luckily she was feeling a little better by that point. So Alex wouldn't have to fix dinner Olivia had placed a takeout order at what had become their favorite restaurant in town. After eating dinner Alex did begin to feel better and was playing in the floor with Henry. It was getting close to Henry's bedtime and Alex was going to take him upstairs for his bath. She stood and picked him up when a searing pain hit her stomach again. She barely managed to sit Henry in the floor and not drop him before falling to the floor herself. She attempted to yell for Olivia but couldn't find her voice.

Henry stood beside her with a worried look "Mama? Mama 'kay?" he asked as he put his hand on her head.

"No baby, Mama's not okay" she whispered "Go get Mommy please"

"Mommy! Mommy!" Henry cried as he ran toward the kitchen where Olivia was cleaning up from dinner.

Olivia ran back into the living room with Henry on her hip, she gasped when she Alex lying in the floor "Oh God Alex, what happened?"

"I don't know I picked him up and it was a stabbing pain in my stomach" she held her stomach where it was still hurting "I think I might need to go the hospital" Olivia grabbed a jacket for Henry and his diaper bag and was about to help Alex up when Alex doubled over in pain "I feel like I need to use the bathroom" Alex said in a whisper. Olivia helped her down the hall to the bathroom. Olivia was about to help Alex with her pants when she noticed the small bloodstain and gasped. Alex followed Olivia's stare and noticed the blood, she began to cry "Oh God! No, no, no!"

Olivia pulled her up to look in her eyes "Alex, Alex. You're going to be okay, now let's get you to the hospital.

Alex collapsed against her wife "I don't think I can walk"

"It's okay" Olivia said as she scooped Alex into her arms and carried her toward the living room. She stood Alex up against the wall and put her jacket on then put her own on. She walked toward the door and turned back to look at her son "Baby stay here Mommy will be right back" Once she had Alex in the car she ran back for Henry and locked up. She put her son in the car and sped off for the nearest hospital.

Alex lay in the bed in the ER waiting for the doctor to come in. She wished Olivia could be in there with her but they had told Olivia that she would have to stay in the waiting room until the doctor could check Alex out. She didn't need anyone to tell her she knew she had miscarried, what hurt even more was the fact it was Olivia's baby she was carrying. She was terrified Olivia would hate her for it; she knew Olivia would never hate her it was just a thought that had worked its way into her mind and wouldn't go away. She wiped the tears from her eyes when she heard the door open she looked up and smiled when she saw Olivia and Henry standing in the doorway "Hi"

"Hey" Olivia said as she walked over next to the bed "How are you feeling?" she said as she leaned in and kissed Alex on the top of her head.

"I lost it" Alex said as she broke down crying again.

"Has the doctor been in yet?" Alex shook her head no. "Then you may not have lost it" she said as she attempted to hold her own tears back. Both were trying to keep from upsetting their son.

Henry looked back and forth between his mommies then leaned in and placed a kiss on Alex's cheek "Mama 'kay?"

"Yeah buddy Mama's okay" Alex said hoping to keep him calm.

"Mama just has a tummy ache" Olivia said as she helped him settle between the two of them.

They sat in silence until the doctor entered the room "Mrs. Cabot I'm Dr. Carson" the young woman said as she entered the room. Olivia stood from the bed and picked Henry up who was a little reluctant to leave his Mama, it was as though he sensed something was wrong.

Alex shook her hand then nodded toward Olivia "This is my wife Olivia Cabot and our son Henry"

Dr. Carson shook Olivia's hand and gave Henry a small wave. She turned her attention back to Alex and looked over her chart "I see you're about six weeks pregnant and you've been experiencing some pain and bleeding?" Alex nodded "When did it begin?"

"Today"

Olivia spoke up "She's had a really bad headache since yesterday but she didn't take anything on account of the baby"

"The pain and cramping began this afternoon though. This evening when I went to pick Henry up I had a sharp pain and I nearly dropped him before I fell down. Olivia was going to bring me here and we noticed the blood right before we left" she looked down for a moment then reached out for Olivia's hand "I lost my baby didn't I?"

Dr. Carson gave her a sympathetic look "I'm afraid that's what it sounds like but I'll check you out just to be sure"

"Can Olivia stay, please?" Alex asked as her tears freely fell.

"That's fine. I'll be right back" she said as she left the room.

Alex looked up at Olivia "Baby I'm sorry, I really am. I'm so sorry"

"It's okay" Olivia said as she pulled her hand up and kissed it.

"Please don't hate me, I didn't mean for it to happen" Alex said as she cried harder.

Olivia sat Henry in a chair and gave him a toy to play with then walked over and sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Alex into her arms "Alex, sweetheart I love you. I could never hate you. This wasn't your fault. Sometimes these things just happen" She pulled back so they were looking eye to eye "I won't have you blaming yourself for this. Okay?"

Alex nodded "Okay"

Dr. Carson reentered the room with an ultrasound machine "Okay Alex if I could just get you to pull your gown up a little. I need to do an ultrasound to make sure everything's okay in there" Alex pulled her gown up and looked to Olivia.

Olivia picked Henry up and pulled the chair over next to the bed, she sat down and held Alex's hand. She squeezed Alex's hand and whispered "We love you"

"Hmm" Dr. Carson had a quizzical look and continued to move the wand around Alex's stomach. "Alex are you aware you were pregnant with twins?" she asked as she looked back and forth between Alex and Olivia.

Alex and Olivia's eyes widened as they looked at each other. Alex felt her heart drop she didn't just lose one baby she lost two. "No I was due to go for an ultrasound on Wednesday I hadn't had one yet" she wiped more tears from her eyes "What does that mean?"

Dr. Carson smiled at her "Well it means I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

"Bad news" Olivia said.

"Okay the bad news is you did have a miscarriage" both Alex and Olivia began to cry "However the good news is you only miscarried one baby. You are still pregnant with the other baby"

Alex wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry; she had lost one baby but was still pregnant with its twin, so she settled for both. She laughed while wiping a few more tears "Is the other baby okay?"

"It appears to be. Would you like to see for yourself?" She turned the monitor so they could see the baby on the screen.

"Oh God Liv look it's our baby" Alex said as she began laughing and crying all over again.

"I love you so much" Olivia said as she leaned over to kiss Alex. When she pulled back she held Henry up so he could see the monitor "Look Henry that's your baby brother or sister" she said as she pointed at the screen. "So everything's okay?"

"Looks like it" she pressed a button and the baby's heartbeat filled the room "Sounds good too" she said smiling at the couple.

Alex covered her mouth with her hand "Oh thank God, it's really okay" She was so relieved. While she was still upset that she had lost one of her baby's she was still pregnant with one, she hadn't lost them both. She swore to herself that she would be careful for the rest of her pregnancy to avoid anything happening to this baby.

Nearly an hour later they were walking back into their home. Olivia was carrying Henry on one side and supporting Alex on the other. She helped Alex into bed before taking Henry in for his bath. Afterward Olivia brought him back to their room for some family time before putting him to bed. Alex pulled him close to her, she was still be pregnant with one baby but she had also just lost one of her baby's she needed to feel her son in her arms. He snuggled up close to her as if he knew she needed him. She looked over him at Olivia "I know it's something we said we didn't want to make a habit of but can he sleep with us tonight? Please Liv?"

"I don't see where one night would hurt" Olivia said as she stood and changed into a shirt to sleep in. "You want to sleep with Mommy and Mama tonight baby?"

As if that was his cue Henry settled down between them and snuggled next to Alex. He put his hands in her hair and began running his fingers through it, it was something he had done from an early age and Alex was so happy he continued to do it. Just as all three were getting settled Henry raised his head up "Augie" he looked at Olivia "Augie Mommy"

Olivia chuckled and climbed from the bed "Okay I'll go get Augie" Augie was a stuffed dog that Casey had given Henry the day he was born and it had become his security item, he couldn't go to sleep without it. They learned how attached he had become to the little toy when they had taken a trip to the Hamptons and after arriving they realized they had left it at home. It took longer to figure out what he was wanting since he wasn't talking yet but the eventually figured out what it was. This led to Alex calling Bill and asking if he could go to their apartment and get the toy and Alex would drive back down and meet him halfway. It had amused her the lengths she would go to make her son happy. Olivia climbed back in bed and handed the stuffed beagle to her son "Here you go here's Augie" They weren't quite sure where the name Augie came from, they assumed it was his way of saying doggie.

Once Henry had his toy he settled back in against Alex and Olivia rolled onto her side so she could wrap her arm around both her wife and son. She leaned in and kissed them both "Goodnight I love you"

Alex returned the kiss and gave her son one as well "I love you too"

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A/N: Got this update out quicker than I expected, the idea just popped in my head and I ran with it. Thank you again for the reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying! Let me know what you think, enjoy!


	19. Chapter 19

This chapter skips ahead a little from the last one. There are references to the season nine episodes 'Paternity' and 'Signature' so if you haven't seen those episodes consider yourself warned. I also played around with the timeline a little but this is slightly A/U so I think I can get away with it. Once again thank you for the favs, follows and the reviews. I love reading each one of them! Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

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Chapter 19

The holidays were definitely not the best time to be pregnant Alex decided. Between the parties they were invited to as well as the cookies and candy that neighbors dropped off and Olivia brought home from work every day she was going to gain a hundred pounds. She was nearly five months pregnant but she felt as if she were as big as a house, although Olivia continuously reassured her she wasn't. She had just begun to drift back off to sleep when she felt someone staring at her. She opened her eyes to see Henry standing next to the couch staring back at her "Hey buddy"

"Mama snow" he said as he pointed at the window.

Alex turned her head so she could see outside and it was indeed snowing again. Henry loved playing in the snow and would always pitch a fit when they tried to bring him inside. "Yeah it is, isn't it?"

He grabbed her hand and attempted to pull her up "Side Mama side. Pay Mama pay"

"You want to go outside and play?" he nodded. "Okay let's get ready"

Half an hour later it was taking everything Alex had to get him back inside "It's getting colder buddy we have to go in" Once inside and changed she began dinner while Henry played with his toys. She took note of how quiet it had become, she tiptoed toward the family room where he was playing and saw he was standing right next to the tree reaching out for an ornament. Alex stepped back just out of his sight and called out "Henry Alexander Cabot you better not be touching the tree" she chuckled as she peered into the room and saw him run from the tree and sit back down with his toys. For a child who was only a year and a half old he was very perceptive and very intelligent. Olivia often joked it was her detective side coming out in him. She smiled when the phone rang and she looked down and saw Olivia's number on the screen "Hey baby"

"Hey I'm on my way home. How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, a little tired but good. Henry and I went out and played in the snow for a little while and now I'm fixing dinner"

"Okay well just don't overdo it. I'll be home in about half an hour traffic is moving slower because of the snow"

"Okay be careful. I love you"

"I love you too"

Alex loved how thoughtful and attentive Olivia was with her since she had gotten pregnant and it had increased since the miscarriage. After that night in the ER Alex had been afraid to do anything she was terrified of losing her other baby, but everything had went well. Now that she was out of her first trimester she felt better about the pregnancy and had went back to her regular routine. The only thing different she was doing was she did her volunteer work from home since winter began. Even though she was no longer going into the city Henry still attended daycare a couple days a week. Olivia would take him in the morning with her and usually Alex would drive down to get him but on days she was really tired Gail would go pick him up and babysit him till Olivia got off work or Alex came to get him.

Olivia had also returned to SVU, and the problems between she and Elliot had greatly eased. They had had several discussions that involved talking as well as yelling and some crying. They found out that Cragen had also talked with him and informed him he needed to resolve his issues before Olivia returned or he would have him transferred. The moment that had really brought them back together was when Olivia and Kathy had been in an accident when Olivia was taking Kathy to the doctor. Alex remembered the moment like it was yesterday.

_She had just finished putting away the last of the groceries when the phone rang "Hello?" she asked without looking at the name on the screen._

"_Alex" said Cragen_

_Alex froze at the sound of the captains voice "Don what happened?" she said as she sat down in chair._

"_There was an accident"_

"_Oh God" Alex said cutting him off. Henry was staring at her with a quizzical look. She reached out and pulled Henry close to her, when she was worried about Olivia holding her son close seemed to comfort her._

"_Alex she's okay. She's at the hospital but she's okay. She was taking Kathy to the doctor and a drunk driver ran a light and hit them"_

"_Which hospital I'm on my way" Alex said as she put her shoes back on and grabbed her coat before getting Henry in a coat and grabbing the diaper bag and her purse._

"_She's at Mercy"_

_Alex didn't even respond she simply hung up and buckled Henry into his seat before taking off toward the city. When she arrived she was told that Kathy was upstairs in maternity and she knew that's where Olivia would be. When she walked through the doors Olivia turned and Alex had to hold back the scream for fear of scaring Henry, Olivia's shirt was covered in blood. Alex covered her son's eyes to keep him from seeing it. "Liv?"_

_Olivia cut her off "Alex I'm fine it's from Kathy and yes she and the baby are fine"_

_Alex breathed a sigh of relief "Oh thank God" she said as she pulled Olivia in for a kiss. She stayed with Olivia until Elliot arrived. Olivia had been given a scrub top to change into so as not to scare Henry from the blood on her shirt. When Elliot arrived she stepped just outside to give him and Olivia a moment. She was watching through the window when she saw Elliot pull Olivia into a hug. If she had seen that a year ago she would've instantly become wary of him but since he was back with Kathy she felt better about him being around Olivia. While she figured he would never give up his feelings for her when he went back to his wife she worried less. She nearly fell to the floor when he walked Olivia out and he smiled at her and congratulated her on the baby. Maybe they were finally turning the corner._

That night after dinner they had decided to have a movie night, and since there was a toddler in the house it was guaranteed to be a cartoon. Henry of course picked one of his Christmas movies being it was only a couple days before Christmas. He also insisted on it being a Mickey Mouse movie. That summer they had taken vacation and went to Disney World, while Olivia worried he may have been too young to really enjoy it Alex informed her that you were never too young or old to go to Disney World. Olivia had never been, considering the childhood she had, and Alex was thrilled that she got to experience her first visit. She wasn't sure who was more awestruck Olivia or Henry. Henry was head over heels for Mickey and every time they watched a Mickey movie he wore his Mickey ears with his name on them their hotel had provided. He also insisted that Alex and Olivia wear theirs. So there all three of them sat curled up on the couch together watching a Christmas movie while wearing Mickey ears.

Christmas rolled around quickly and Alex's predictions from the year before were right; Henry had a blast opening his gifts. Like they had the year before they spent Christmas Eve with Bill and Gail. When Henry was allowed to open his gifts he was so excited he had to stop after each one and show it to everyone, he was having so much fun that Alex and Olivia allowed him to open theirs as well.

Christmas morning the excitement went to a whole new level. Once they were up they went downstairs for breakfast because they knew that once Henry started opening gifts there would be no stopping him. After breakfast they reminded him of his gifts to open and it was all they could do to hold him back. Olivia walked in and sat the video camera up so it could get his reaction; she then went back to the kitchen. They walked into the family room, one of them on each side holding Henry's hand. When they entered the room Henry gasped "Oh" he pulled his hands from his mother's grasp and put both hands over his face. Alex and Olivia both burst out laughing. Henry ran over to the tree and fell to the ground in front of the pile of gifts.

Alex stopped him before he began ripping into everything in sight and managed to get a couple pictures. They pulled out the gifts that belonged to them and then turned him loose. Nearly two hours later their family room was a pile of paper and toys. They had waited until he was done opening all of his to open theirs; mainly because they wanted to take pictures of him but also because he once again insisted on showing them each item he opened. Their gifts were the standard they had gotten each other the two previous years; Olivia receiving a new jacket along with some jewelry and clothes and Alex's gifts included clothing, jewelry and books. Olivia often joked she didn't know how Alex found time to read between volunteer work and keeping up with a toddler but Alex always found time to read. They both laughed when they both sat aside a box to be opened later, knowing it was their gift that shouldn't be opened in front of Henry. Even though he was too young to understand they figured may as well start now because when he was older it would definitely be something he couldn't see.

"Alex. Alex" Alex sat up gasping for air when she felt Olivia's hand on her arm. She looked around wide eyed "Alex sweetie what's wrong?"

Alex placed her hand on her chest trying to calm her breathing. She had had another nightmare. After she had returned to Olivia her nightmares had all but disappeared. Even after coming home she had one occasionally and it was almost always the same, Olivia trying to protect her that night and instead of Alex being shot Olivia was shot and killed. Since becoming pregnant she was having strange sometimes crazy dreams and Olivia told her not to worry she was the same way while pregnant. However the nightmares had returned when Olivia returned to SVU, and had gotten worse since Olivia was in the accident with Kathy. She hadn't told Olivia but there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach she couldn't shake, a feeling that something bad was going to happen to Olivia. Alex was so lost in her thoughts that she jumped slightly when she felt Olivia wrap her arm around her and pull her close. "Liv?"

"Yeah. What's wrong? Was it another nightmare?" Alex nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No" Alex said as she lay back down and placed her hand on her tiny baby bump, even though she hadn't felt the baby move yet just knowing it was Olivia's baby inside her always seemed to calm her. She smiled when Olivia took a tissue from the bedside table and began to wipe the sweat from her forehead. She desperately wanted to tell Olivia what was bothering her but she couldn't. Olivia would reassure her she was fine and if that didn't work she knew Olivia would leave SVU again just to make her feel better. She wouldn't allow that to happen, Olivia belonged in SVU. She finally settled back down in Olivia's arms, between the pregnancy and the nightmares at night she was exhausted she only hoped she could sleep the rest of the night.

A week after Christmas they found themselves sitting in the doctor's office waiting to have an ultrasound done. "Sometime I still can't believe you're pregnant as little as your belly is" Olivia said while running her hand over her baby bump. "I was huge by this point"

"How many times do I have to tell you, you weren't huge you were beautiful" Alex said as she pulled Olivia down for a kiss. "So what do you think it is?" Alex asked when they separated.

"I don't know I was thinking a girl but now I've got a strong feeling it's a boy"

"Me too I've thought it was a boy all along" she looked at Henry who was sitting on Olivia's lap "How about you buddy, what do you think Mama's having?"

"Baby" the little boy said with a smile as he pointed at Alex's belly.

"Yeah that's right Mama's having a baby" Alex said while laughing. Even though Henry was too young to understand what was going on he was learning to associate the word baby with Alex's belly.

A few minutes later her doctor entered the room and did her standard checkup before doing the ultrasound. After a few minutes she turned her attention to Alex "Okay I can tell exactly what you're having. Do you want to know?" Both ladies nodded yes. She turned the monitor to face them "It looks like Henry is getting a baby brother"

Both Alex and Olivia burst into tears "Looks like we were both right Olivia said as she leaned in and placed a kiss on Alex's mouth"

"I love you" Alex replied.

"I love you. You're having my baby, literally" she said with a laugh.

They were planning to go out for lunch and celebrate but their plans were cut short when Olivia was called in on a case. Two bodies were found in a secluded area of the park and Olivia was needed. "I'm so sorry" Olivia said as she dropped Alex and Henry at home before heading to the city.

"It's okay just promise me you'll be careful" Alex still was unable to shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen to Olivia and that feeling just seemed to get stronger with each passing week.

"Always" Olivia said as she took Henry to get a goodbye hug and kiss.

Once Olivia sat Henry down Alex pulled her to her for a kiss. She ran her hand through Olivia's now short hair. She had loved Olivia's hair long and part of her hated that she cut it but at the same time she loved her hair short. She pulled Olivia closer when she felt Olivia rest her hands low on her hips and deepen the kiss. When they finally broke apart she smiled "You better get going detective because with the mood I'm in right now; if you don't soon go I'm going to have to drag you to bed and have my way with you"

Olivia laughed and gave Alex another quick kiss "Now you know how I felt when I was pregnant" Alex and Henry waved goodbye to Olivia before heading back inside.

The next few days were draining on Alex and Olivia both. Olivia was dealing with a particularly gruesome case. They were looking for a serial killer called the Woodsman. Olivia and Lake were working with a specialist from the FBI who had been trying to catch him. He was suspected of kidnapping, torturing, brutalizing and killing women across several states. Olivia had even stayed in the city one night because she had worked so late and didn't feel like driving home. She was going to stay in the cribs but Alex insisted she stay with Bill, and when Olivia tried to say no Alex made a call and Gail personally went to the precinct and brought Olivia home with her. By the end of the week they had found out that the Woodsman had been in the morgue all along and their investigation turned to finding out who killed him.

Alex stood when she saw the headlights reflecting off the wall. She met Olivia at the door and could tell by the look on her face the day had not gone well. "Hey baby" she said as she pulled Olivia tight against her. She pulled back and looked into Olivia's eyes when she didn't get a response. She took Olivia's coat off and led her to the couch to sit down "What happened?"

Olivia sighed "Well we found his last victim. She was still alive when we found her but I received the call on my way home that she had died" When she looked up she was crying and it broke Alex's heart "Alex you can't even begin to imagine the room we found her in. She was in a drawer under the table he used to torture them, and on top of that he records the torture and leaves it playing when he leaves so his current victim can listen to it" she was sobbing now "I had to fingerprint her while Lauren took photos, she couldn't handle it and had to leave. I'll be honest it's all I could do to get through it" Alex pulled her tighter and let her cry until she couldn't cry any more. She then took Olivia upstairs and undressed her while running a hot bath. They sat in the bath in silence allowing the day to wash away. When the water turned cold Alex helped her out and dried them both off and led Olivia to bed. She didn't even bother to dress either of them; Alex knew that after a day like this Olivia needed to feel Alex's skin against hers.

Over the next few days things got worse when they found out that Agent Cooper was the one who killed the Woodsman. Alex had decided to drive into the city to pick Henry up from daycare and then visit with Gail for a little while. She was sitting in Bill and Gail's living room when her phone rang; she looked down and didn't recognize the number "Hello?"

"Alex, it's Melinda" Alex froze. Her mind began running at a frantic pace, her fear of something happening to Olivia had come true. After letting the fear subside for a moment she thought that if something really bad had happened Cragen would've been the one to call her not Melinda. She finally registered Melinda's voice. After taking a minute to listen she jumped up from her spot on the couch and put her coat on.

"Alex dear what's wrong?" Gail asked when she came back into the room with their tea.

"I need to go its Olivia" Alex said as she quickly tried to gather her things.

"Is she okay?" Gail asked with concern in her voice.

"Physically yes. She and a fellow detective just witnessed the FBI agent they had been working with commit suicide" It was all Alex could do to keep from crying.

"Oh the poor thing"

Alex was at the door when she saw her son's coat on the coat rack "Henry" she said looking back at the room where he was napping.

"Leave him I'll keep an eye on him as long as you need me too. Go take care of your wife"

Alex raced up the stairs to Agent Cooper's apartment. Just as she was about to walk into the apartment she was stopped by a uniform officer "I'm sorry Ma'am but you can't go in there"

"Like hell I can't" Alex said as she attempted to push her way around the officer, no one was going to stand between her and Olivia.

He put his arm in front of her "I said you can't go in there. I will arrest you"

Alex gave him an incredulous look "I'd like to see you try. My wife is Det. Olivia Cabot and right now she is in there and I need to get to her" Alex said, her look almost daring the man to arrest her.

Luckily Melinda stepped up at that moment "I called her, let her in"

Alex walked into the apartment and she was sure her heart stopped when she saw Olivia crouched in the floor. Alex walked over to her cautiously she didn't want to startle her. "Olivia" she whispered as she crouched down next to her. She reached out and gently laid her hand on Olivia's shoulder causing the older woman to jump and then look at her. The look in her wife's eyes broke Alex's heart; she had a blank stare, it was almost as if she wasn't even there. Alex looked up at Melinda silently asking if Olivia was okay.

"She's in shock Alex. Take her home, I've already spoke to Cragen he said she can give a statement later and to at least take tomorrow off" Alex looked around the room and noticed the gurney with the body bag still folded on it. She looked back to Melinda "I was waiting for you to take her out before we remove the body. She doesn't need to see that again"

Alex nodded and slowly stood, gently pulling Olivia up with her "Liv, baby come on were going home" she said as she led Olivia out the door and down the hall. She put Olivia's arm around her waist and then wrapped hers around Olivia and held her close. It was like Olivia was operating on autopilot, she was only walking because Alex was holding her up and leading her.

When the walked outside the winter air seemed to snap her out of her state of shock for a moment, she turned and looked at Alex "Where did you come from?"

Alex swallowed the lump in her throat "I came to take you home. We're going to pick Henry up and then we're going home" Alex helped her into the car and then headed to her uncle's to get her son. After buckling Henry in and promising to call Gail if she needed anything she headed home. Olivia had been quiet the entire way and still hadn't said anything when Alex helped her in to their home. Henry also sensed something was wrong when he tried to get his Mommy to play and didn't get a response "Mommy's just really tired right now buddy. Maybe she'll play later"

Once she was sure Henry was settled and playing she took Olivia upstairs to change. Olivia surprised her when she spoke "I'm going to take a shower"

"Okay. I'll go downstairs and heat up some soup for dinner" she pulled Olivia in for a hug and nearly cried when she felt Olivia relax into her embrace. "I'll check on in you in a bit" Alex said as Olivia walked into the bathroom. Alex was just taking some bread from the oven when she heard the bone chilling scream come from upstairs. She took off running to her wife, nearly breaking the baby gate at the bottom of the stairs in the process. She ran into the bathroom and jumped into the shower with Olivia, sweatpants and all. Olivia was sobbing. Alex pulled her tight against her and held her, running her fingers through her hair trying to soothe her "its okay baby I'm right here" Olivia began to cry harder when Alex began speaking "Shh, shh, its okay, let it out. I've got you"

They stayed that way until the water turned cold. Alex turned the water off, helped Olivia out and began to dry her off. She wrapped the towel around her then walked her into their room and sat her on the bed. She pulled out Olivia's favorite sweats and t-shirt and helped her dress. Olivia looked up at her "Alex? How did I get home?"

Alex's heart broke all over again "Liv baby, I brought you home. Melinda called me and told me what happened and I picked you up and brought you home" Olivia nodded, seeming to accept the explanation. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Olivia shook her head no then looked up suddenly "Oh God I was supposed to give a statement. I have to go"

Alex stood as quickly as Olivia "No you don't at least not today. Melinda had already talked to Cragen and he said for you to go home and at least take tomorrow off. I called him after you got in the shower and he said to take as long as you needed" Olivia was about to speak but Alex cut her off "He told Lake the same thing so there's no point in fighting it. He also said if we wanted he would come up here and take your statement personally" She waited a moment to see if Olivia was going to argue with her, which surprisingly she didn't. "I made soup and just took some bread from the oven. Do you feel like trying to eat?"

"I guess I can try"

Dinner was quiet and even Henry who usually rattled on during dinner was quiet. Alex walked into the family room after cleaning up, her heart melted at the sight in front of her. Olivia was lying on the couch with Henry lying on top of her with his head on her chest, both were sound asleep. It appeared as though Olivia was holding on to him for dear life. Alex left them until it was Henry's bedtime. She gently picked him up and carried him to his room and put him to bed. She then came back down for Olivia "Olivia" she whispered. Olivia slowly opened her eyes "Baby it's time to go to bed" She led Olivia up the stairs and they curled up in bed. Now that Alex's belly was growing it was becoming harder to curl up together. They lay down on their sides facing one another; Alex wrapped her arm around Olivia's waist while Olivia had her hand on Alex's belly. They lay there silence until Alex felt a kick against her belly; she looked up at Olivia "Did you feel that?"

Olivia looked surprised as well "Yeah. Is that the first time he did that?"

Alex nodded as she felt a few tears slide down her cheek "Yes" She had always loved feeling Henry kicking while he was in Olivia's belly but feeling Olivia's baby moving inside her was an indescribable feeling. It was in that moment Olivia broke down. Alex looked her in the eye "Liv, baby what's wrong?"

"Why didn't I stop her Alex? I should've known what she was going to do. I should've stopped her" she began sobbing again.

Alex felt her heart break for what felt like the hundredth time that day. She pulled Olivia as close to her as possible and held her as she cried. "Baby there's nothing you could've done"

"If I had reacted quicker I could've stopped her" Olivia cried.

Alex leaned over and turned the lamp on she then rolled back over to face Olivia. She placed her hand on her wife's chin and pulled it up till they were facing one another "Olivia look at me" she waited until she was sure she had her attention "There is absolutely nothing you could've done" she said slowly allowing it to sink in.

"How do you know?"

"When I talked to Cragen he told me what Lake said had happened. He said there was no way either of you could've stopped her. Lake was standing closest to her and even he couldn't have stopped her. I know this is going to be hard but I don't want you blaming yourself for this. Okay?"

"I can't promise anything" Olivia said as she struggled to stop crying.

"I know, but I want you to know that I'm going to be right here beside you" Alex said as she pulled her closer. She leaned in for a kiss; Alex hoped she could convey all her love for Olivia in that one kiss "I love you so much"

Olivia wiped her last few tears from her eyes "I know and I love you more than I can ever say"

Alex placed a kiss on her forehead and waited for Olivia to fall asleep. Once she felt Olivia's breathing even out Alex allowed herself to cry. She cried for Agent Cooper, she cried for all the victims but most of all she cried for Olivia. She was a person who deserved all the happiness in the world but was continually faced with the worst mankind had to offer. It was the first time in years that Alex cried herself to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Let me begin by saying thank you for your response to the last chapter. I felt really good about it but I wasn't sure how it would be received, so thank you. This chapter is a little heavy also and like the last chapter there are references to the episode Undercover, so if you haven't seen it here's your warning. Enjoy!

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Chapter 20

"Alex, baby please you have to give me a minute" Olivia said as she struggled to catch her breath.

Alex, who was straddling Olivia, laughed lightly as she leaned in and began placing kisses along her wife's neck and chest "But Liv, I want you" she said in a whiney voice.

"Oh God" Olivia said as she dropped her head back on the pillow. She reached down and pulled Alex up so they were eye to eye "I want you too, every minute of every day, but you've got to give me a minute to rest"

"Now you see how I felt when you were pregnant" Alex said with a laugh as she slid off her wife and lay down on her side of the bed. She looked over at the alarm clock "We managed four rounds so I guess I can let you have a break"

"Was I really this bad when I was pregnant?" Olivia said as she rolled over to face Alex.

Alex leaned in for a kiss "Honey you were horny from the moment you hit your second trimester until you gave birth"

Olivia blushed a bright red "I'm so sorry" she said with a laugh.

"Oh don't be sorry, I enjoyed every minute of it"

Alex smiled as they settled down to go to sleep. She was so happy Olivia was back to her old self. It had been almost two months since Olivia had witnessed Agent Cooper commit suicide. She was able to convince Olivia to take the rest of the week as well as the weekend off, and she was glad Olivia listened. Olivia broke down several more times over those few days and Alex finally convinced her to seek help. She got her an appointment with the therapist she had to speak with after coming out of witness protection and Olivia had made a lot of progress in the past month. The nightmares had all but stopped and Olivia was finally sleeping a little better.

Alex however was still worried. She thought after finding Olivia crouched in the floor that day that her feeling of something bad happening would go away, but it hadn't. She still had this gnawing feeling that something was going to happen to Olivia and it was going to be bad. She also knew that Olivia sensed that something was still bothering her but Olivia would never push she would wait for Alex to tell her. Alex groaned as she felt the baby place another kick to her bladder "You know you could find something else to kick, right?" she whispered as she stood and made her way to the bathroom. She loved being pregnant and that surprised her. Alex never thought she would actually enjoy being pregnant but she did. She was sure part of it was the fact she lost one baby so she cherished being able to carry this one but she knew the biggest part was because it was Olivia's baby she was carrying. She had yet to mention more children to Olivia but she already knew she wanted more. She was considering bringing the subject up when the day before Olivia had mentioned she would love to have a miniature version of Alex.

A couple weeks later Alex was putting away the baby clothes she had just finished washing. That weekend had been their baby shower and Alex had spent the days after putting away all the gifts. Alex jumped when she felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around her waist. She smiled and pulled Olivia's arms tighter "Hey" she whispered when she felt Olivia's lips on her neck.

"How are two of my babies this evening?" Olivia asked as she ran her hands over Alex's belly.

"We're a lot happier now that you're home" Alex said as she turned in Olivia's embrace for a welcome home kiss. "Come on I kept a plate for you" she said as she led Olivia downstairs. It was the third day that week Olivia had come home after Henry was already in bed. "So how was your day?" Alex asked as they sat down at the table.

"Alex she knows who her rapist is she just won't tell me" Olivia said as she moved her plate aside and dropped her head into her hands.

Alex slid her chair closer and put her arm around Olivia's shoulder "Olivia you know as well as I do that when a victim is scared of their attacker they aren't going to give up a name. Is he threatening her?"

"No not her but he's threating her mother. All we know is he's a guard at Sealview and her mother's in Sealview. She's not giving up his name for fear of what he'll do to her mother"

"Well that's understandable a child wanting to protect their parent"

"She said he's raped others too. I can't get her to understand that if she tells me who he is we can stop him and save her mother and all the other women he's terrorizing"

Alex sighed Olivia's dedication to helping the victims was one of her greatest qualities, but it could sometimes be one of her biggest downfalls. It was that determination that could sometimes drive her to the brink. She placed a kiss on Olivia's temple "You'll find a way to get him; you always do"

"I think I already have"

"Really, how?" Alex asked as she pulled back to look at Olivia.

"I'm going to go undercover as an inmate at Sealview" Olivia said as she ducked her head to avoid Alex's gaze.

Alex was sure her jaw hit the floor "No" she replied when she finally found her voice.

Olivia looked back up "Alex it's the only way"

"No Olivia there's got to be another way" Alex said as she felt the panic rising in her.

Olivia narrowed her eyes "Alex are you telling me no I can't do this?"

Alex sighed she could tell they were going head first toward an argument "No I'm not saying you can't, you know I would never tell you that you can't do something. What I am saying is that no I don't want you going. It's two different things"

"Alex someone has to do this!" Olivia said as she stood from the table.

Alex jumped up and faced Olivia "Why does that someone have to be you?" she ran her hands through her hair "What if something happens?"

Olivia placed her hands on Alex's arms "Alex nothing's going to happen" Olivia said sincerely.

Alex couldn't hold back the tears, she hated how emotional she had with the pregnancy "How do you know that Olivia?" she wiped the tears that were falling faster "You would be going in there alone; no weapon, no backup, nothing. It would just be you against all of them. The inmates are enough to worry about as it is not to mention the rapist guard" She knew this is what her bad feeling had been about. She knew without a doubt that if Olivia went to that prison something was going to happen to her.

"I can take care of myself Alex" Olivia said while doing her best to remain calm.

"I know you can it's all the other people in there I worry about. Their gonna know you're a cop"

"No they won't. I'm meeting tomorrow with Huang to work out my cover. All I know right now is I'll be going in as drug offender and have a history of being an abuse victim. They're running drugs too so that way I can use the addict cover to find out who he is, and the fact I'm a victim of abuse I'll be a perfect target"

Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing "Olivia do you hear what you're saying? You are willingly going in there with a target on your back!" she said as she paced the kitchen trying to calm down.

Olivia pulled Alex to her "Hey" she said in a soothing tone "Where is all this coming from?"

Alex looked Olivia in the eye with a shocked expression "What do you mean, where is all this coming from? I can't help that I'm upset that my **wife** wants to put herself in a dangerous situation. If the situation was reversed would you not be upset and trying to talk me out of it?"

After a pause Olivia spoke up "Yes I would be upset but Alex it's more than you just being upset with me. Something is bothering you and it has been for a while, and I wish you would tell me what it is" Olivia said while running her hands up and down Alex's back.

"It's nothing" Alex said as she leaned over the sink and splashed water on her face. She couldn't tell Olivia she would just think it was silly. She leaned against the counter for a few minutes trying to calm down. If nothing else she wanted to remain calm for the baby. She splashed a little more water on her face before turning to face Olivia. To her surprise Olivia had calmed a little as well and now looked concerned. "I think I'm going to go to bed" Alex said.

Olivia reached out and stopped her "No I want you to talk to me. Alex I can read you like a book and I know when something's bothering you. Something's been bothering you for a while but I've let it alone because I knew you would tell me when you were ready but now I'm asking. What is bothering you?" Alex sighed she knew it would come out eventually. Olivia led her to the living room and took a seat on the couch pulling Alex down onto her lap. Alex felt herself relax a little when Olivia began running her fingers through her hair. "Come on sweetheart tell me what's wrong"

Alex let out a shaky breath before beginning "Okay promise you won't laugh"

"I promise" Olivia said while placing a kiss to Alex's head.

Alex took Olivia's hand in hers "I've had this feeling for a while that something bad is going to happen to you. It started right after you went back to SVU and only got worse after the accident. It just kept getting worse and worse and then when I came and picked you up in Agent Cooper's apartment that day I thought that's what was causing the feeling, but it wasn't its continuing"

"Alex I'm fine. I promise"

"I know you're fine right now but I really think something is going to happen to you in that prison" Alex said as she began crying all over again.

"Is this what has been causing your nightmares?" Alex nodded. "Oh Alex I wish you had told me before now. We could've talked about it, I could've helped you"

"I was just afraid you would try and leave SVU again to make me feel better and I couldn't live with myself if I caused that. As much as I hate you being on the street I could never allow you to do that you belong in SVU"

"I understand but I wish you would've told me that's what I'm here for, to love and support you"

"Thank you" Alex said as she leaned in for a kiss. When they parted she stared into the brown eyes she loved so much. She felt her breath hitch when she read Olivia's mind "Oh my God you're still going, aren't you?" she said as she pulled back.

"Alex I have too, someone has to stop him" Olivia said as she tried to hold on to Alex.

"That someone doesn't have to be you. Were you not listening when I just told you that I think something's going to happen to you? Olivia I'm scared, this feeling has been building for months and it's only getting worse. Call me crazy if you want but I truly believe that something is going to happen to you in that prison" Alex said as she stood. She looked at Olivia expectantly waiting for a reply.

"Alex I just wish you could understand" Olivia said in a whisper.

Alex let out a sad laugh "I don't believe this. I'm going to bed" She lay awake in bed waiting to see if and when Olivia would come to bed. About an hour later she felt Olivia slide in behind her and wrap her arms around her waist, caressing her belly. She lay there in silence as she heard Olivia whisper that she was sorry and she loved her. Alex lay there in silence letting Olivia think she had already fallen asleep; knowing if she spoke her voice would give away her tears. It was the first time since returning home that she had gone to sleep without telling Olivia she loved her.

The next day was miserable for Alex. She was exhausted from not sleeping the night before and the morning wasn't much better; few words were exchanged between her and Olivia except when they exchanged I love you's before Olivia left for work. As mad as she was Alex couldn't let Olivia leave without knowing she loved her. Alex tried to go about the day as normal as possible but her fight with Olivia was making that difficult, add to that her worry that something was going to happen to Olivia and the fact that Henry was still recovering from a nasty cold and her day couldn't get any worse.

She was not feeling well for most of the day and was grateful when Olivia called her that afternoon to check on her, she even offered to come home but Alex told her no. A couple hours later Alex wished she had taken Olivia up on her offer. She was feeling very uncomfortable and Henry was in a particularly clingy mood and wouldn't let her put him down for anything. She was trying to relax on the couch with Henry curled up against her with his head resting on her growing belly. She tried to shift him but he wouldn't budge "Henry can you please move? Mama's not feeling well" this made him only burrow closer to her. Once she had her son down for a nap she called Olivia "Alex, is everything okay?"

"Yeah" Alex was quiet for a moment suddenly unsure why she even called. "I just needed to hear your voice"

"Well you can call me anytime" she could hear Olivia smile over the phone.

"So how long before you get home? I've really missed you today" As upset as she still was over the undercover situation, Alex couldn't wait for Olivia to get home.

"Umm maybe a few hours? I'm on my way now to Huang's office to work out my cover story"

Alex stiffened immediately. She didn't know why she thought Olivia would change her mind and not go "Oh I see. Well I'll see you when you get home. Love you" she barely had time to hear Olivia reply before hanging up. She understood why Olivia wanted to do this she hated the thought that there was a guard who was raping women. She wanted him, and anyone else who abused their position, caught and prosecuted. However it was a different story when it was her wife that wanted to be the bait to catch the guy.

An hour later Alex woke still laying on her couch, she wasn't sure what had woke her up. She called out for Henry and was relieved when he popped his head up from his spot in the chair. She always hated falling asleep when it was just the two of them and he was awake. She was terrified he would get into something or get hurt while she was asleep. She lay there for a moment and that's when she felt the pain, it was sharp and seemed to go from her stomach to her back. "Oh" she said as she pressed her hand to her side. She lay there for a moment panting trying to catch her breath.

Henry heard her and came running to her side to see if she was okay. He placed his tiny hand on her cheek and his lips on her forehead just like she had been doing him for days to check for a fever. "Mama sick?"

Alex smiled at how loving her son was he definitely took after Olivia in that way. She put her hand on his cheek "No baby Mama's not sick, I just don't feel very good"

He ran over to where he had been sitting and brought back his sippy cup and handed it to her "Juice"

She chuckled "No thank you. Mama doesn't want any juice" He leaned against the couch and they stared at one another until she cried out with another pain. This time it startled the little boy and he looked as though he was near tears.

Alex breathed through her pain and pulled her son back to her "It's okay baby don't cry. Mama's okay" She was slowly beginning to panic. She was pretty sure she wasn't in labor but her worst fear was going into labor and being alone with Henry. She looked for her phone and noticed it was in the floor "Sweetie can you hand Mama the phone?" He handed her the phone and continued to stay by her side. She dialed Olivia's number and waited, unfortunately it went to voicemail. "Liv, baby is it possible for you to come home? I'm not feeling very good and I really wish you were here. I love you" she hung up and hoped Olivia checked her messages soon.

A half hour had passed and she had had another pain. She thought back to their Lamaze classes and was beginning to think it was contractions. She only hoped it was false labor. She decided to call their neighbor Carol to come over she could at least help with Henry until Olivia made it home. Carol was the first person to welcome them to the neighborhood and after they had gotten to know her and her family better they had even allowed her to watch Henry a few times. Her youngest daughter was in high school and she had babysat a few times for them to go out to dinner.

She managed to get up and walk to the door to unlock it before going back to the family room and collapsing on the couch. "Alex dear are you alright?" Carol asked as she walked into the family room.

"Well" Alex said with a laugh "I think it's just Braxton-hicks"

"Maybe you should let me take you to the hospital" Carol asked as she picked Henry up.

"No, no I'll be fine. I was just afraid to be alone till Olivia got home. I wasn't sure I would be able to pick Henry up and if I did I was afraid I would have another one and drop him" she moved around trying to get comfortable "Liv should be home in an hour or so"

"Don't worry about it. I already had dinner ready so they can help themselves. I'll stay here till Olivia gets home"

They were sitting in the family room watching the news when Alex's phone rang "Hello?"

"Alex? Sweetie are you okay?" came Olivia's worried voice through the phone.

"Yea for right now I am" Just hearing Olivia's voice made her feel better.

"What happened? Are you and Henry okay? Do I need to call someone?"

Alex laughed "Calm down there detective. No we're not alone I called Carol and she's staying here until you get home. I woke up from a nap and had a few contractions. It's been a while since the last one so I think their just false. We've been through this once already Liv we can get through it a second time"

It was Olivia's turn to laugh "Yeah well last time I was on the giving birth side, this time I'm on the waiting side and to be honest I'm not a huge fan of it"

"Trade ya places"

"No that's quite okay counselor. I got my fill of labor the last time"

Alex couldn't help but smile. Even though it was just one night she missed this playful banter they always had. "Liv I'm sorry"

She was cut off "Alex don't worry about it, I'm sorry too. I'll be home soon we can talk then. I love you"

"I love you too" Alex said as she hung up.

Once Olivia arrived home Alex seemed to be feeling better. Carol went home but only after making them promise if they needed to make a trip to the hospital they would call her and she would come stay with Henry. Olivia fixed a light dinner and after dinner was over and Henry was put to bed they sat down on the couch to talk. "So" Alex said.

"So" Olivia echoed back.

"Liv about last night" Alex started but was cut off.

"Alex I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just dropped that on you like that. I didn't think about how you would react and I'm sorry"

"But you're still going, aren't you?"

"Alex I went to George's office today to go over my cover"

Alex didn't hear anything else that Olivia said because she felt another contraction hit and this one was much stronger than the others. She gasped and felt the tears stinging her eyes.

Olivia stood and leaned over her "Another contraction?" Alex nodded. "Come on you're going to the hospital"

"No I think I'll be okay" Alex said as she tried to breathe through the pain.

"No you've had contractions off and on all day. The baby's not due for another four weeks, now it might be false labor but we'll never know if you don't get checked out. Now I'm calling Carol and we're going to the hospital"

Five minutes after Olivia called her Carol was sitting in their living room. Alex had another contraction as they were walking out the door. She couldn't help the tears she shed when Olivia scooped her into her arms and carried her to the car. She sped off toward the hospital "You're gonna get pulled over you know" Alex panted out after another contraction hit.

"That's why I made sure to grab this" Olivia said as she pulled her badge from her coat pocket and flashed the smile that Alex knew was only for her.

Alex was caught up in staring at her wife when the most powerful contraction yet hit, this time she screamed. Olivia reached over and took her hand. She looked up at Olivia "The hell with getting pulled over get me to the hospital. I think I'm in labor"

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A/N: I know I left a few things hanging but I will resolve them in the next chapter. Hopefully I will have it up soon. Hope you liked it!


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Alex squeezed Olivia's hand tighter as another contraction hit. She was beginning to worry that this wasn't false labor. Their baby wasn't due for another four weeks and while she knew that a baby could be born that early and be fine, she wanted to carry it as long as possible. She managed a small smile at Olivia which earned her a kiss in return Olivia hadn't left her side since they had entered the hospital. "Where's the damn doctor?" Alex groaned out once the pain from the last contraction had passed.

"I don't know do you want me to go check?"

Alex held onto her hand tighter "No don't leave me"

Olivia sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Alex into her arms "Okay I'll stay right here"

They were still wrapped in each other's arms when Alex's doctor walked in the room "Well Alex I'm a little surprised to see you here" she said as she looked over the chart.

"Yeah well I'm a little surprised to be here myself Dr. Mason"

Dr. Mason went about checking Alex out and asking a few questions "Okay you're not technically in labor but you're getting close"

"So what's that mean?" Olivia asked.

"I'm going to go ahead and give you some medicine through your IV to stop the contractions. Once its run we'll wait a little bit to make sure they stop and if they do then you can be on your way"

"Is there anything that causes this?" Alex asked. She wanted to know if there was something she shouldn't be doing for the remainder of her pregnancy.

"It could be anything, usually the most popular cause is stress" Alex felt her heart drop when she glanced at Olivia and she had a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm a cop so she's stressed every time I leave the house" Olivia said, her tone automatically giving away the fact she blamed herself.

"And I'm not saying it was caused by stress Olivia I'm just saying it could be one factor" Dr. Mason said as she laid a comforting hand on Olivia's shoulder. She left the room promising to return after the medicine had a chance to work.

They sat in silence for several minutes Alex knew what Olivia was thinking she just hoped she wouldn't bring it up. "Alex I'm so sorry it's my fault this happened"

"No it's not" Alex said leaning her head back and closing her eyes, she really didn't want to have an argument now.

Olivia had a few tears in her eyes "Yes it is. It's my fault you're so stressed"

"No Olivia it's not. I've not been sleeping well and with Henry being sick for the last few days I'm not surprised I'm stressed" Alex ran her hand through her hair and stared at the ceiling. She knew part of the reason she was stressed was because she had been so worried about Olivia then add their fight the night before but she would never tell Olivia that.

"See? Right there my fault. You've not been sleeping because you're worried about me. Henry's been sick and out of the entire time he's been sick I've only been home once to help put him to bed. I've not been here for you like I should be" Olivia broke down into tears.

Alex sighed and pulled Olivia's hand to her lips and kissed it "Olivia I worry about you every day you walk out the door, and that's not going to change until you retire. It's something I accepted years ago when I decided I wanted to spend my life with a cop" they both smiled "Now when it comes to you blaming yourself for not being there to help with Henry, I understand when you don't make it home early. I know you're working it's not like you're out running around. I love being home with him, and yes while I would love to have you home more often with us I don't hold it against you or resent you for it" She slid over in the bed a little and motioned for Olivia to get in beside her.

Alex smiled when Olivia ran her thumb over her cheek Olivia then leaned in for a kiss. It was sweet and gentle and Alex couldn't help the few tears that slid down her cheek "I love you" Olivia whispered.

"I love you too" Alex pulled Olivia down till her head was resting on her chest. They stayed quiet for a while, the beeping from the machines the only noise in the room. Alex placed Olivia's hand on her belly "He's moving a lot maybe your hand will calm him down"

Olivia began running her hand over Alex's belly "Calm down little one Mama needs to rest" Olivia sighed "Alex, about the undercover operation"

Alex took a deep breath she really wished Olivia would wait until they got home to bring this up. She steeled her nerves "What about it?"

"I'm not going" Olivia said as she looked up at the blonde.

Alex slowly looked down "What do you mean you're not going?"

"I mean I'm not going"

Alex really wasn't sure how to react. While on one hand she was thrilled Olivia wasn't going undercover in a prison, the other part of her was afraid Olivia would resent her later for it. She lay there thinking for a minute. She had never been a religious person but she had found herself thanking God more often for what she had, every morning she asked him to keep Olivia safe and every evening she thanked God for bringing her home. She offered up a quick thank you for Olivia changing her mind as well as one for hoping Olivia wouldn't resent her. "What changed your mind?"

"You" Olivia said while staring into her eyes.

Alex began to pull back "No way I'm not gonna have you using me as the excuse not to go, because if you do you'll end up resenting me for it.

Olivia sat up and ran her hands over her face "Alex I'm not using you as an excuse. Yes you and Henry and this little guy here" she said as she ran her hand over Alex's belly "You three are my reason not to go" She squeezed Alex's hand "I started thinking today about everything you said last night and then I remembered the last real good ass kicking you gave me"

"When was that?" Alex said with a slight smile.

Olivia chuckled "Do you remember the Gitano case, when I got stabbed?" Alex nodded. "You informed me that I had more to think about now that just myself. I started thinking about that this morning I have you three to think about now. We're a family my decisions affect all of us. Alex please forgive me you have to understand for the majority of my life I only had myself to worry about. I'm not using it as an excuse I'm just saying that it's how my mind still works sometimes. I also should have discussed it with you not just dropped it on you and expected you to accept it" She was crying again and it was breaking Alex's heart "So once again I'm asking your forgiveness" she gave Alex a wide smile "And I'm also giving you permission to kick my ass more often because I apparently still need it from time to time"

Alex held her side as she laughed "Oh God Liv don't make me laugh like that" she looked at the brunette for a minute "Baby are you sure? I mean not that I want you to go I just want you to be sure you're not going to resent me or even Henry or this baby for your decision"

"I'm positive. You three are the most important things in my life, you three are my life. I was sitting there in Huang's office this afternoon listening to him tell me about my cover and that was one thing but when he started explaining what could happen to me I..I..." she trailed off. Alex took both Olivia's hands in hers and laid them on her belly. This seemed to encourage her to continue "I just couldn't do it. I kept hearing your voice in my head saying that you thought something was going to happen and all I could think was what would I do if something did? What if I was hurt, or got sick with some disease or God forbid I died? All I could do was think about you spending the days I was gone worrying about me. Then I thought about what if the baby came? This is something I definitely don't want to miss" Olivia said as she leaned over and placed a kiss on Alex's belly.

Alex placed both hands on Olivia's face and pulled her in for one of the most passionate kisses they had shared in a while. They finally broke apart when their lungs were screaming out for air "I love you" Alex panted out.

"I love you too" Olivia said as she curled back up against Alex. "So" Olivia said with a mischievous grin "Are you still up to the task of kicking my ass when I need it?"

Alex laughed and ran her hand along Olivia's side until it rested on her hip, she gave her wife a light smack causing them both to laugh "I happen to like your ass detective, but yes I'm more than willing to kick when necessary" They both laughed as they settled back down in the bed.

"Don't you two look comfy" Dr. Mason said as she returned to the room.

"We would be more comfy if we were home in our own bed" Alex said with a laugh.

"Well you should be there soon" she smiled at the expectant look on the couple's faces. "Your contractions have stopped and since you haven't started to dilate yet I'm sending you home"

"Thank God" Alex sighed as she dropped her head back on the pillow.

"Is there anything special she should or shouldn't do?" Olivia asked as the doctor handed them the discharge papers.

"Take it easy, also no lifting on your son. Now I know that's probably going to be difficult but I really don't want you lifting on anything. I want you to stay off your feet as much as possible as well" Alex's eyes widened "I know that's going to be difficult with a toddler running around but it will be best for you and the baby"

"She'll do it" Olivia said.

Forty five minutes later they were walking through their front door. Carol, who was asleep on their couch, sat up "No baby I guess?"

Alex chuckled "Nope no baby, at least not yet" she pulled Carol in for a hug "Thank you so much we really appreciate it"

"Don't mention it. Anytime you need me just let me know" she said as she put her coat on to leave.

"I'll walk you home" Olivia said as she put her coat back on.

"Oh you don't have to it's just across the street"

"I know this is a safe neighborhood but I've seen what can happen at two am to women out by themselves" Carol finally agreed to allow Olivia walk her home.

Later as they were curled up in bed together Alex sighed as she pulled Olivia's arms tighter around her belly. She was so grateful Olivia had changed her mind to not go undercover. "How are you feeling?" Olivia whispered against her neck, causing Alex to shiver.

"Better than I've felt in a long time" For the first time in months Alex didn't have that gnawing feeling that something was going to happen. This feeling had been different than the one she has every morning when Olivia leaves. Like anyone married to a cop she wonders; is this the last time I'll ever see her? Will this be the last kiss we share? That was a feeling that she had accepted and knew she wouldn't be rid of until Olivia retires. However the feeling that something bad was going to happen to Olivia had completely disappeared by the time they crawled in bed.

She looked up when she saw Olivia leaning in for a kiss "I love you" Olivia said as she settled back down behind Alex.

"I love you too baby" Alex smiled as she silently thanked God again for Olivia changing her mind. She laced her fingers with Olivia's and rested their hands on her belly as they fell asleep.

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Thank you for the reviews I hope this ties up the loose ends from the last chapter. I decided to have Olivia not go undercover mainly because I can't watch the episode Undercover. I've seen it several times and always ended up crying and have even become nauseous by the time Olivia is rescued, so this is my way of avoiding the trauma she suffers. And based on how S14 ended and what I've seen on social media about the season opener I'm not one hundred percent sure I'll be able to watch it either. I know they have to tease us to hype up the show but I just don't know yet. I was just out of high school when SVU began and I've watched since the beginning. It may sound silly but when you watch a show that long you being to feel like you know the characters, they are your friends, and sometimes it's hard to watch some of the things they go through.

Thank you for allowing me to have my little say. Please excuse my lack of knowledge in the medical references in this chapter. I love knowing what you think. Enjoy!


	22. Chapter 22

Once again thank you for the reviews, I can't believe this little story has over one hundred reviews. To those of you who expressed in your review some of your reasons for being or not being able to watch the episode Undercover, I hope your healing continues. This chapter is mostly filler to get us closer to the next one which I plan to be the birth of the baby, Alex in labor should be interesting. While this chapter still falls easily under a T rating I did take things just a tad further than I usually do. Like I've said before I don't intend to write a sex scene I don't think it comes out right and sometimes it is best left to the imagination. This however just came out so I hope it works. As always I love reading your thoughts. Enjoy!

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Chapter 22

Alex stirred when she felt the bed bounce. She opened her eyes to see Henry bouncing his way across Olivia's side of the bed. Olivia spoke up "Hey don't bounce so much Mama's still asleep"

"No Mama's awake" Alex said as she sat up and pulled the little boy in for a hug. She looked at the clock "Shouldn't you be leaving? You're going to be late"

"I took today off" Olivia said. When Alex gave her a quizzical look "You didn't forget what day it is did you?"

Alex smiled and pulled Olivia down to her "No I could never forget today. Happy anniversary baby" she slid her hand up to the back of Olivia's neck and pulled her in for a light kiss. "I'm just surprised you took the day off"

"I know but I'm slowly making the transition from 'workaholic' Olivia to 'being at home as much as possible' Olivia"

"Well we love that idea. Don't we buddy?" she said as she looked down at Henry.

He looked between the two "Mommy home" he said with a giggle.

"Henry and I have a surprise for you too" Olivia added.

"Oh? And what would that be?" Alex asked as she tickled their son.

Henry laughed as he struggled to get way from Alex and onto Olivia's lap. He got up next to Olivia and listened intently as she whispered in his ear. He smiled back at Alex "Bekfast an bed" he said with a proud look.

They both laughed "You and Mommy made me breakfast in bed?" he nodded still smiling. "Well where is it? Mama and the baby are hungry" Olivia and Henry took off downstairs to get breakfast and Alex took the opportunity to run to the bathroom before settling back in bed. Even though she was exhausted and miserable, at the same time she felt better than she had in months. Ever since her early labor scare a couple weeks earlier Olivia had changed and made an even bigger effort to be home more. Alex was even happier at the thought of Olivia not going undercover, and ever since Olivia made that decision the feeling that something bad was going to happen had disappeared.

She was just getting comfortable when Olivia and Henry walked back in the room. Olivia was carrying a tray and Henry was carrying a bouquet of flowers. Alex couldn't help but tear up at the sight. Olivia sat the tray on the bedside table and then lifted Henry up onto the bed "Happy anniversary love" Olivia said as Henry handed over the flowers.

They spent the next hour lounging in bed and enjoying the breakfast Olivia had made. "Mommy's not such a bad cook is she?"

"Well I've learned a few things through the years" Olivia winked back at Alex.

"It doesn't take a genius to fix French toast and bacon and cut up some fruit"

"No but it takes some skill to fix it with a toddler attached to your hip" Olivia laughed.

They spent most of the day lounging around the house. Alex lay on the couch watching Olivia and Henry playing in the floor, it was a sight she could definitely get used to. "So what do you say I call Carol and see if she or Stacy can watch Henry tonight and you and I go out to dinner?"

Olivia looked up from her spot on the floor with Henry sitting on her stomach "I already have plans for us"

"You do?" Alex asked with a raised eyebrow. Olivia nodded. "And just what are those plans?"

"I guess you're just going to have to wait a couple more hours to find out, aren't you?" Olivia said as she sat up and slid over to sit next to the couch.

"It's not nice to tease a pregnant lady detective" Alex reached out and ran her fingers through Olivia's hair.

Olivia leaned up to whisper in Alex's ear "Well sweetheart the plans I have for you this evening include a lot of teasing" she pulled back just enough to look Alex in the eye "and you doing a lot of begging" Olivia chuckled as Alex shuddered at what she was implying.

"Oh God Liv" Alex moaned as she dropped her head back on the couch.

Later that afternoon Olivia smiled when the doorbell rang. She left the room and when she came back Alex was surprised to see Bill and Gail behind her. "What are you two doing here?"

"Well nice to see you too dear" Gail said with a smirk.

"That's not what I meant" Alex said laughingly.

Henry, who had just caught a glimpse of the older couple standing in their family room, jumped up and began running over to them "Nanny, Gampa" he shouted as he launched himself into Bill's arms.

"Henry my boy, how are you?" he said as he picked the child up. After receiving his hug he handed him over to Gail for hers "Olivia I don't think I've ever seen a child look so much like a parent as he looks like you" he reached over and ruffled the little boys hair "And I don't know how it's possible but Alex I swear he has your eyes"

"Hanging around a lawyer all day he's also got a pretty good vocabulary for his age. So don't be surprised when he rattles your ears off"

"I take offense at that" Alex laughed. "Now seriously what are you guys doing here?"

"First of all, happy anniversary" Gail said as she hugged both ladies "Second of all as your gift we are taking the little man here home with us for the night so that you two can celebrate"

"That's so nice of you" Alex said as she struggled to stand up. She hugged both her aunt and uncle.

"It was actually Olivia's idea" Bill replied.

Alex looked at Olivia with a smile. Her eyes asking if it was true, she smiled even wider when Olivia nodded. Gail leaned in and whispered just loud enough for Alex and Olivia to hear "So Alex you better make sure you thank her real good tonight" she laughed as both ladies blushed bright red.

A couple hours later after a romantic dinner they were on the couch; Alex straddling Olivia's lap, running her hands up under her shirt while kissing her passionately. "I can't believe you got us a whole night to ourselves" she said between kisses.

"Well it's been a while since we had a night to ourselves and here soon" she began rubbing Alex's belly "We're going to be even busier. We're going to have two kids age two and under so it'll probably be a while before we have a night just the two of us, so I thought this would be a nice gift for both of us" she gave Alex a coy smile "Plus it means no holding back for fear of little ears hearing us"

"Says the louder of the two of us" Alex said causing them both to laugh.

Alex closed her eyes and dropped her head onto Olivia's shoulder as Olivia began running her hands further up under her shirt. Alex raised her head back up for a moment to look Olivia in the eye. She loved staring into her wife's eyes; she knew it was something she could do every day for the rest of her life. She thought that whoever said the eyes were the window to the soul must have been talking about Olivia. It never failed to take her breath away the amount of love she always saw in her wife's eyes. She held Olivia's face in her hands and crashed their lips together. "I need you now"

"Okay" Olivia said as she made a motion to get up.

"No I mean now, right here right now" she sat back and pulled her shirt off followed by Olivia's "I really can't do much, you'll probably end up having to do all the work"

"I'm more than happy to do all the work"

Alex couldn't get over how sensitive her body had become with pregnancy. All they had done so far was undress and Olivia was placing kisses along her neck and she was barely breathing. When she watched Olivia drop to her knees in front of her she nearly lost it. She settled back on the couch as Olivia continued to kiss down her neck and chest. "Olivia? Liv, baby" she panted out knowing she was on the brink. She tangled her fingers in Olivia's hair as she felt Olivia take her breast into her mouth. Alex moaned at the sensation but raised her head and looked down when she felt the brunette suddenly pull back. "What?"

Olivia had an odd look on her face then smiled "Your milk came in"

"Huh?" Alex asked, her head still in an Olivia induced haze.

Olivia reached up and swiped her finger gently across Alex's breast then held it up for her to see "I said your milk's come in" she smiled "It's only a matter of time now"

Alex became overwhelmed for a moment; very soon she would be giving birth to Olivia's baby. She pulled Olivia up to her for a gentle, loving kiss. "I love you" she said with tears in her eyes.

Olivia was tearing up as well "I love you too"

Alex grinned "Now if you don't soon get back to what you were doing I might just explode" Olivia chuckled as Alex placed her hand on top of her head and began pushing her down to where she needed her.

A couple hours, and a few rounds, later they were curled up in bed thoroughly exhausted. "God I forgot how loud you could be" Alex said as Olivia was rubbing her belly "I wouldn't be surprised if you have a sore throat tomorrow"

Olivia chuckled lightly "Yeah well you weren't exactly quiet yourself counselor"

Alex rolled over so she could face the detective she reached out and ran her hand along her cheek "Thank you"

"For what?" Olivia asked as she cuddled closer to Alex.

"For this, for tonight. I love our son and I miss him so much already, but this was exactly what we needed. One night alone with the love of my life" she wiped a couple tears from Olivia's eyes "I couldn't have asked for a better gift. I just hate I didn't come up with something as good"

"Alex you are my gift, and in a few weeks you will be giving me the greatest gift of all. It doesn't matter who he belongs to biologically the fact that he's coming from your body makes it wonderful. I sometimes still can't believe that my baby will be coming from your body. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I love you" she placed a kiss on Alex's forehead before curling up as close to her as possible and began drifting off to sleep "I love you to the moon and back"

Alex smiled and held her close "Me too baby, me too"


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Alex huffed as she collapsed on the couch "I can't believe she didn't admit me." She and Olivia had just left her doctor's appointment. The baby was now a week late and she was more than ready for it to be over.

"Alex honey she's inducing you in the morning. So it really wouldn't make a difference between now and then."

"Yes it would Liv. Do you even know how miserable I am right now?"

Olivia laughed "Yeah I have a pretty good idea." She ran her fingers through Alex's hair and placed a kiss on top of her head. "Why don't you try and rest while I straighten up. Gail and Bill will be here later this evening and I'd like to have everything done when they get here." The couple had offered to come up and stay with Henry when Alex had the baby, and since she had to be in at five am they would be spending the night.

Alex spent most of the afternoon trying to cuddle with Henry as much as possible because she knew once the new baby arrived he would be taking most of their attention. Once he went down for his nap Alex walked into the kitchen where Olivia was putting away the groceries she had just purchased. Alex leaned against the door frame and watched her wife for a minute, she had never loved someone the way she loved Olivia in fact she never knew she could love someone this much. She walked up behind Olivia and wrapped her arms around her waist "Hey." she whispered against her neck.

Olivia leaned her head back on Alex's shoulder for a kiss "Hey yourself." She turned so they were facing one another "I thought I told you to get some rest."

"You did but I've sat around so much lately that I'm going nuts and I know once I come home you're going to insist I still sit around while you do all the work, so I figured I would move around now while I could." She reached up and ran her hand through the brunettes hair "Besides I love watching the domestic side of you," she leaned in and put her lips against her ear "because it's hot." she chuckled as Olivia shivered. Alex pressed her lips against Olivia's, enjoying the feel of her wife's lips against hers.

Olivia pulled away when Alex slipped her fingers just below the waist of her jeans "Alex, umm Alex?" Olivia said between kisses. She reached down and stilled the blondes hand before she had a chance to go any further. She pulled back and looked her in the eye "What brought this on?"

Alex smiled before she leaned back in and began placing light kisses all over Olivia's face "Henry is asleep; it'll still be a while before our company arrives" she pulled back and gave Olivia an almost predatory grin "And I really want to go into labor. So will you please have sex with me?"

Olivia burst out laughing "What?"

Alex huffed and rolled her eyes "I know this will sound bad but I'm so tired of being pregnant. Don't get me wrong I've loved it up till now and I'm pretty sure I'll want to do it again but I'm so ready for him to be out."

"So what does sex have to do with that?" Olivia asked with a smirk.

"You know for a detective you're a little dense sometimes. I want you to have sex with me so I'll go in labor." Alex whined.

Olivia continued to laugh "We had sex last night and you didn't go into labor. Besides you have to be at the hospital in just over twelve hours you'll be in labor soon enough, and trust me once you are you'll be wishing you weren't." They stared at each other for a moment "Oh my God that's why we did last night didn't we?" Olivia feigned hurt "You used me."

Alex placed another quick kiss to her lips "You enjoyed every minute of it and you know it."

Later that evening after Bill and Gail arrived and they had dinner they all sat around talking while Henry played in the floor. Bill took a seat next to Alex "I never thought I'd see the day."

"What me having a baby?"

"Well that too but I never thought I'd see you married, happily I might add, with one child and about to have about to have another one." he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a sideways hug.

"What makes you say that?" Alex had always been close to her uncle and his wife, and she was genuinely curious about what he was saying.

"Alex you've wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I can remember and I could tell early on that you would be one hell of a prosecutor." Alex looked surprised she didn't even know she wanted to be a prosecutor until she started law school. Bill chuckled "Don't look surprised Alex. You've always had prosecutor written all over you. You always wanted to help those who couldn't help themselves and speak for those who couldn't. Alex you were meant to be a prosecutor." he smiled at her "However more than that you were meant to be a mother." Alex began to tear up "I've watched you with Henry and I just can't get over how good you are with him. Alex that little boy," he pointed at the miniature version of Olivia playing in the floor "That little boy loves you more than anything in the world. You and Olivia are his world. When he stayed with us a few weeks ago all we heard was Mama this and Mommy that" he pat her hand and whispered before standing "I just wish your parents were here to see how wonderful you are."

When it was time to go to bed Alex insisted on carrying Henry up to bed, against Olivia's insistence that she shouldn't "Liv I'm fine I haven't been able to carry him hardly at all for weeks and it'll be a while before I can carry him again." Once they were curled up in bed Alex sighed as Olivia began gently rubbing her belly "I'm really going to miss this."

"What?" Olivia asked as she nuzzled the back of Alex's neck.

"This, you rubbing my belly. However I can't wait to be able to sleep on my back again."

"Good luck you remember how long it took me to be able to do that, but why do you want to be able to lie on your back again?"

"Because I miss lying on my back with you curled up in my arms with your head on my chest. I love sleeping like that."

Olivia chuckled lightly "I miss that too."

Alex lay in the hospital bed and struggled to catch her breath after the last contraction. It was now eight am and it seemed like her contractions were coming faster than she expected. She looked up at Olivia who was gently running a damp cloth across her forehead. She had to choke back a few tears when she saw the love reflecting in her wife's eyes. Olivia hadn't left her side since they arrived at the hospital. Alex took Olivia's hand and gently rubbed it between hers "I haven't broken it yet have I?"

Olivia chuckled "Not yet. You forget I've been in fights I think I can handle you squeezing my hand."

"Yeah well if it's anything like it was when you were in labor it's gonna get pretty rough. You cut the circulation off in mine several times." Alex leaned up for a kiss "But seriously Liv, thank you."

"For what?" Olivia asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"For everything. You have been so great during all of this. You work hard all day, and sometimes all night, you come home and take care of me and Henry. I love you and couldn't imagine doing this without you."

Olivia smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to Alex's lips "I can't imagine any part of my life without you. I love coming home to you and our son, taking care of both of you. I always thought my life would be going to work and coming home to an empty apartment. Then this headstrong, stubborn, drop dead gorgeous blonde walked into the squad room and I knew my world was about to change." she grinned "Or at least I hoped it would."

"I remember what that was like." Alex whispered "The only thing that mattered was my career and where it could lead, higher in the DA's office, political office maybe? Then that fateful day I walked into the precinct." they both laughed "I remember it like it was yesterday. You were sitting at your desk and I remember thinking how beautiful you were and at the same time I thought you would never give me the time of day. I knew in that instant that I didn't care if it took the rest of my life I was going to make you mine."

"I'm glad you did because I love being yours."

Alex was about to reply when she felt the start of another contraction "Oh God here comes another one!" she said as she grabbed Olivia's hand.

By noon Alex was nearing her wit's end "Liv I can't do this I can't. You do it for me."

"I would if I could sweetie but I can't. You however are more than capable of bringing our baby into the world."

Alex practically growled as the next contraction hit "I want the epidural!"

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked.

"Yes I want it!"

A few minutes later the anesthesiologist entered the room to get everything set up "Okay Mrs. Cabot how are you feeling?"

"How do you think?" Alex asked in a sarcastic tone. She was in no mood to listen to him; she just wanted the baby out.

"Alex please." Olivia whispered in her ear.

With Olivia's help Alex was sitting on the edge of the bed leaning into Olivia. She was squeezing Olivia's neck tight while she breathed through another contraction. Just as it was ending she heard the doctor's voice again "See that wasn't so bad was it?"

Alex's eyes popped open and she turned to glare at the man "Excuse me? Let's see how you feel if you were trying to push a baby through your di-"

Before she could finish her thought Alex felt Olivia's hand over her mouth. She knew Olivia knew what she was about to say and decided to stop her "Alex honey he's only doing his job."

"Well he needs to do his job and get out." Alex said while continuing to glare at the doctor. The fact that it didn't seem to faze him in the least only irritated her more. She finally looked up into Olivia's eyes as the doctor was preparing to insert the needle. "It's going to hurt isn't it?" she asked while trying to hold the tears back.

Olivia placed a kiss to her forehead "I'm afraid so, but you'll get through it." she pulled Alex closer and continued to whisper in her ear how much she loved her.

Alex cried out as the needle was inserted in her spine. She began crying into her wife's shoulder hoping the pain would end soon. Shortly after her epidural she began to relax and was eventually able to take a short nap. She woke to the strongest contraction yet "Son of a bitch!" she yelled as she held her side.

Olivia jumped from the chair and raced to her side "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Alex panted out. She was just catching her breath when another hit "Oh God here comes another one."

After a few more contractions Olivia offered to get a nurse "Do you want me to get you a nurse Alex?"

Alex nodded "That might not be a bad idea." Olivia was about to walk away when another contraction hit. This time it felt different "Liv I think the baby's coming!" Olivia just stared for a moment as if she suddenly wasn't sure what she should do. Alex reached out and shook her hand. Olivia snapped out of her trance and stared at Alex "Move your ass Liv I think he's coming!"

The next few minutes the room turned into controlled chaos. Suddenly Alex found herself sitting up in the bed with Olivia at her side and her doctor staring back at her. "Okay Alex you're ready to go so on the next contraction I want you to push and count to ten."

Alex nodded but suddenly she wasn't sure about what she was about to do. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to deliver the baby, she was afraid something would happen and if it did Olivia would never forgive her. She had just registered Olivia saying ten, signifying she could stop and rest for a moment. She lay back on the bed for a moment and looked at Olivia "I can't do this."

"Yes you can, I know you can." Olivia reassured as she ran her fingers through her wife's hair.

"No I can't." Alex cried as she felt another contraction begin.

Alex had been pushing for nearly thirty minutes, and in her opinion it has been the longest thirty minutes of her life. She was taking a second to rest when she heard Dr. Mason call out "Okay Alex on this next one I need you to give me all you've got." she looked down at the doctor, her expression clearly asking why "I can see the head Alex he's almost out."

Alex watched as Olivia stepped over to look. She felt her breath catch at the look on Olivia's face "Liv?"

"He's almost here Alex. I saw his head, he's right there." Olivia whispered while wiping her tears.

This encouraged Alex so on the next one she sat up and squeezed Olivia's hand as tight as she could and pushed with everything she had. She groaned when she heard the doctor say he was almost out. She looked up at Olivia for strength, and Olivia seemed to know what she needed "Alex you convinced me I was strong enough to deliver our baby and now I'm doing it for you. Do you know why you're able to do this?" Alex shook her head. "It's because you're the strongest person I know. You took on a drug cartel, you spent almost two years alone in witness protection, and you put up with me and the miniature version of me. You are also the only person I know who is willing to stand up to me and call me out when I'm being stubborn. You're also willing to kick my ass when I need it." both laughed knowing it was true. Olivia leaned down and kissed Alex soundly "So what do you say we meet our son?"

Olivia's faith in her was all Alex needed to continue on. She sat up and began pushing with everything she had. She felt like she was on the verge of passing out when she heard the most wonderful sound in the world, their baby's cry. She looked up at Olivia who was already crying "Is that?"

Olivia nodded and leaned in kissing Alex passionately "Yeah it is. It's our baby. You did it!"

They looked up at the doctor who was smiling "Congratulations it's a boy!" she said as she reached up and lay the squalling infant on Alex's chest.

Alex looked down at the baby, she was in love instantly. She had been so worried that she wouldn't be able to love both her children enough but she knew the moment she looked at the baby she loved him as much as she loved Henry. "Oh God Olivia he's perfect!" She held him close to her chest and cried.

"Olivia would you like to cut the cord?" Dr. Mason asked.

Alex smiled as Olivia nodded and then stepped over to sever the physical connection between mother and baby. She sat back down on the edge of the bed and just starred at Alex and the baby. Alex felt as if they were in their own little world, just the three of them.

One of the nurses came over to take the baby to be checked out and Alex insisted Olivia follow to keep an eye on him. Olivia carried the baby back over and handed him to Alex. "You did good Mama." Olivia said as she sat down on the edge of the bed with her wife.

"You did pretty well yourself Mommy." They stared at the baby in silence for a few minutes before Alex spoke again "I swear he looks like both of us. Look at him I mean in ways I see you but at the same time he doesn't." she was looking at him until he opened his eyes and looked at her "Oh thank God." she cried.

"What?" Olivia asked as she leaned over to get a better look.

"His eyes baby, he has your eyes." sure enough the tiny infant had brown eyes.

After they shared a little more bonding time the baby was taken to the nursery to be cleaned up while Alex was taken to her room. Olivia had called Gail to share the good news and to tell them it was okay to bring Henry by. They were both dying to see their other son. Alex settled back in her bed in preparation of feeding the baby for the first time. She couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed about the nurse helping her learn how to feed him. Once she had the hang of it the nurse left them alone. She couldn't take her eyes off the baby in her arms but at the same time she knew Olivia was watching her. Alex smiled "I know you're looking at my boob's detective."

Olivia laughed "Well now you know how it felt all those times you watched me."

An hour later Alex was sitting in the bed with her knees pulled up and the baby resting on her legs. She couldn't get over how much she loved the little baby in front of her. After Henry she thought she could never love another child as much as she loved him. So it surprised her when she first laid eyes on their newest child and knew she loved him just as much as Henry. She quickly wiped a few tears from her eyes when she heard the door opening. She looked up and grinned when she saw her wife and son walking into the room.

"Mama!" Henry called out as Olivia carried him toward the bed.

Alex scooped the baby up into her arms and slid over making room for Henry beside her. She wrapped her arm around her oldest child and held him closer. She began crying again when she realized she was holding both her sons in her arms. "I love you." Alex whispered as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Wuve you too Mama." he reached out and wiped the tears from her face "Why crying Mama?"

Alex glanced up at Olivia, who was crying also, before responding "Mama's crying because she loves you so much."

Olivia sat down on the bed next to Alex "So Henry, are you ready to meet your baby brother?"

Henry looked at the baby in Alex's arms "Baby."

"Yes that's your baby brother." Alex replied.

Henry reached out to touch the baby but was stopped by Olivia "Easy baby. You have to be easy when you touch him okay?" Henry gently reached over and ran his hand over the baby's arm "Play?"

Alex laughed "No he can't play he's too little. Once he gets older he can play with you but right now he's too little." Henry nodded, seeming to accept the explanation.

After the family had a little time to bond Olivia went out and told Bill and Gail they could come in. "Congratulations Alex!" Bill said as he leaned in for a hug.

"Oh girls he's wonderful!" Gail said as she stared at the baby. "I swear it's like he's a perfect mixture of both of you." Alex and Olivia both nodded. While they knew his looks would change as he got older right now he did appear to have features from both of them. He had light brown hair and his skin while not as fair as Alex's it was much lighter than Olivia's, and of course to Alex's delight he had Olivia's eyes. "So what's his name?"

Alex and Olivia looked at each other before Alex spoke "His name is Jase Oliver Benson Cabot"

"A good strong name." Bill said as he pat Olivia on the shoulder.

"Olivia thinks it's a little overboard but I think it's perfect." Alex said as she shot her wife a playful look.

"I don't think it's overboard per se, it's just Oliver would've been one thing but Oliver Benson for his middle name? The poor kid's got a first and last name for a middle name."

Alex and Olivia were sitting on the bed with their two sons watching how they interacted with one another. Bill and Gail had left for a little bit to allow the family time to bond. They would be coming back in a couple hours to take Henry back home for the night. Alex watched as Olivia took pictures of their boys, she only laid the camera down long enough for Alex to pick it up and take pictures of Olivia with them.

It was time for another feeding so Olivia occupied Henry with a toy while she helped Alex get situated. Once Alex and Jase were comfortable Olivia slid over to play with her other baby boy. Henry looked up at Alex "What doin Mama?"

"I'm feeding the baby he was hungry."

Before Olivia could stop him Henry had crawled up to Alex and reached for the blanket "I help."

Alex held the blanket "No buddy he's okay." She looked pleadingly at Olivia. It wasn't that she didn't want Henry watching, she was just didn't want him watching her nurse for fear of him wanting to try too or ask questions he was too young to understand.

Olivia picked him up "Come on little man let's go look out the window and let Mama finish feeding your brother."

Later once they were alone again Olivia curled up in bed with Alex and Jase. "I can't wait until we're home and all four of us can curl up in bed together."

Alex lay her head on Olivia's shoulder "Me too."

The next afternoon Alex sighed as they pulled in their driveway, she was so happy to be home. She smiled when she saw the blue balloons tied to the porch railing along with a welcome home banner. Before she and Olivia could make it to the porch a nearly two year old ball of energy came bursting through the door running to greet them "Mommy, Mama!" Henry shouted as he stopped at the top of the steps.

Alex leaned down as best she could and placed a kiss on her son's head "I'm so glad to be home, I've missed you!"

Later that night after putting Henry to bed Alex and Olivia curled up in bed with the newest member of their family. "So after going through labor and delivery are you willing to go through it again?"

Alex couldn't help the smile that spread across her face "Believe it or not, yes." She looked back at the infant in Olivia's arms "I'm not talking anytime soon, but yes when he's a little older I would like to try again. I really would like a little girl."

"I think a little girl would be nice too, especially if she looks like you." They sat in silence for a few minutes before Olivia looked back at Alex "As long as you're not as grouchy as you were this time." she chuckled at the look on Alex's face.

"I wasn't grouchy." Alex said pretending to be offended, but knew full well she was a little grouchy.

Olivia raised an eyebrow "You weren't grouchy? On what planet is that considered not grouchy?"

"It couldn't have been that bad."

"Oh really? Well let me remind you. I had to cover your mouth when you were about to tell the anesthesiologist that he should try pushing a baby out a certain part of his anatomy, and the most surprising one was when you told me to 'move my ass'."

Alex sat up a little straighter "Okay maybe I was a little grouchy but you my dear, when you were in labor you turned into quite the little bitch." Alex smirked at the look on Olivia's face "And I say that with love."

After a moment of staring at each other they both burst out laughing which startled the baby. Olivia pulled him close to her "Hey sweetie it's okay." She rocked him for a minute before getting up and placing him in his bassinet. "Goodnight baby, Mommy loves you."

"Mama loves you too." Alex said as she wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist and looked over her shoulder at their child. She placed a kiss to Olivia's cheek before climbing back in bed, with her wife right behind her. Alex lay down and pulled Olivia over too her so Olivia's head was lying on her chest. "Can you believe it?"

"Hmm, believe what?" Olivia asked as she snuggled closer to Alex.

"Can you believe this, us, where our lives are? I mean can you believe that just three years ago we didn't know if we would ever see each other again, and know look at us. We love each other more than we ever thought possible, we're married and have two beautiful children. After I came back I didn't think I would ever be as happy as I was that day, and then we got married. Again I thought I could never be happier, that was until a little blue eyed version of you came into our lives, and now we have a little brown eyed angel who looks like a perfect mixture of both of us. I didn't think it would ever be possible to be this happy, but here we are."

Olivia smiled "I know our life's pretty perfect isn't it?" Alex nodded. Olivia leaned in close "And it's only going to get better." She placed a loving kiss on Alex's lips "I love you."

Alex smiled into the kiss "I love you too" She began running her fingers through Olivia's hair as they settled back down to go to sleep. Alex was happy, happier than she'd ever been and she knew it was only going to get better.

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**A/N: We have come to the end of this story, but not the end of their story. I have an idea for a sequel and hopefully I can have it up soon. Thank you to everyone who has read, favorite, followed and reviewed. It means a lot. I hope you enjoy!**


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